Page 5 of Atlas
Maximum, Lumi, and River were now all taking down the hundreds of photos in the room while I snapped pictures with my phone. What they didn’t understand was that I’d been searching for answers for eleven years, and those photos could hold information that I needed.
Once they were done taking down pictures, they took the videotapes, and if it hadn’t been that River’s pile was too high and she dropped two of them on the floor, I would have never gotten to see what was on them. While the others left the room to burn everything in the garden, I took the videotapes and closed the door.
I tried to distance myself from what I might see and turned on the TV as I pushed in the tape.
Please let it be a Hollywood movie.
The sound of my father’s voice made the hair on my arms stand up. I only had to see a few minutes of my father’s gift of persuasion to be sweating like I’d run a marathon. Not even the young girl’s giggles and assurances that she wanted him to touch her made the bile in my throat lessen.
I had come here to prove to myself that Conor O’Brien held no power over any of us any longer, but as I stopped the tape, I stood with a feeling that he was right behind me, hissing low into my ear. “You can never outrun me, son. You’re my blood, and I live on inside you.”
As if I’d felt a physical touch to my neck, I shivered and rubbed my skin, and then I hurried to the others in the garden.
“There was still split wood in the shed and lighter fluid,” Maximum told me when he stepped back from the fire he had made.
“Cover your noses. Burning plastic isn’t healthy,” Lumi warned and threw the first tape on the fire.
I didn’t like the smoke. “What if the neighbors notice the smell?”
“This is Howth. Nothing happens after midnight.”
“Nathan is right,” Lumi said. “It’s December. They’re all sleeping inside with their doors and windows closed.
We stood for a while, throwing tapes onto the fire and watching them melt. I had been one of the first to throw my two tapes, and there was a sense of relief when the flames engulfed them.
“I’m sure we’re breaking all sorts of environmental rules right now.” River was just about to throw another tape on to the fire when she hesitated, and her eyebrows drew close together.
“What is it?” I was terrified she had read her own or Lumi’s name on a tape, but she looked to Nathan.
“Wasn’t your last name Hamilton before we all got adopted?”
“Yeah?”
“And wasn’t your mom’s name, Sandra?”
I swallowed hard as all our eyes were on Nathan. His hands folded into fists. “Is it from the night he killed my mom?”
River held it out to him. “It could be.”
Nathan took the tape and looked utterly lost.
“Do you want me to look at it first?” I offered, although I had zero desire to see what was on that tape.
“No, I’ll do it when I’m ready.”
Maximum, Lumi, River, and I all moved over to stand around Nathan, our hands resting on him to offer our support.
“Don’t watch it alone,” Lumi whispered. “At least let us be there for you.”
Nathan was looking down with tears making his eyes wet, but he nodded as a silent promise that he wouldn’t watch it alone.
Without words, we gathered closer around Nathan and gave him a group hug. When we moved back, he squatted down in front of the fire and used a stick to stir up the flames.
"We should burn down this whole house. No one will ever want to live here anyway."
When none of us answered him, he turned his head, “No, actually, we should blow it up, once and for all. One giant explosion to get it out of our lives.” He lifted the burning stick in his hand, and it made me take a step forward.
"Don't. Arson is a crime, and you don't want to go to jail.”
