Page 70 of Atlas
Atlas and I helped clear the table before he whispered something in Liv’s ear and pulled me away with him. “Get your jacket and let’s go.”
“Shouldn’t we tell the others that we’re leaving?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want any of them to come with us.”
“Oh, okay.” I found my purse and jacket but felt weird about sneaking out.
“Why didn’t you want any of the others to come with us?” I asked once we were in Atlas’ rental car.
“Because I thought we could get some work done while we shop for our presents for Saffron. You’ve talked with River and Nathan, and I’m curious to know if you found it helpful.”
“So helpful!” I said and tried to distract myself from traffic going in the wrong direction, by talking about what I’d learned.
“First of all, it’s clear that they are both traumatized by their time in the cult, but in different ways. When I hear River talk about her life in London, it’s like I’m watching a beautifully crafted palace that’s stunning from the outside. The problem is that when I use my training to check if it’s structurally sound, it’s easy to see that all the splendor that she has built for herself is standing on a weak foundation. I tried to tell her, but River says that she cleared up everything with therapists when she was younger.”
“We all saw counselors in the first years after the collapse of the cult.”
“Yes, and that’s great, but some of these traumas are deeper than she understands. I wish River would stop and reflect on her need to live a life of glamour.”
“And I’ll bet you have a theory about what that need is.”
“Of course. Don’t you?”
“I might.” Atlas slowed the car down at a stoplight. “What about Nathan? You seem to get along well. Did he open up and tell you about his experience?”
“Yes, he did. It’s impossible not to be deeply affected by the pain he suffered from losing his parents and trying to win Conor’s love. That fear of being left alone still lingers in him, but at least Nathan is aware of it.”
“Yeah?”
“He’s also aware that sports are addictive to him. It helps distract him from the mess in his head. He even jokes about it being his drug of choice.”
“Hmm.”
“They are great people, Atlas. I like them a lot.”
He was quiet for a while, and I figured it was because he had to focus on where we were going, but then he said, “Would you answer a personal question?”
My pulse sped up. “Sure, what do you want to know?”
“Are you attracted to Nathan? I mean, if you lived in the same place as him, would you be open to his advances? Is he your type of man?”
I bit my lip thinking about it. “I’m not going to lie. Nathan is an Adonis of a man. He’s well built and handsome. He’s also funny and kind. Any woman would be lucky to have him.”
Watching Atlas, I saw his knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel harder.
“Just like any woman would be lucky to have Maximum or you.”
Atlas kept his eyes on the road.
“I know you said that Nathan is a player and that you’re protective of me after the incident with Niklavs, but I’m a grown woman, Atlas. I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m fine.”
“He’ll break your heart.”
I gave a small laugh and looked out the side window. Now would be a great time to tell Atlas that he was worrying for nothing. I was in love, alright, but not with Nathan. Atlas was the one breaking my heart.
