Page 11 of Lumi
CHAPTER 2
Day One
Damian
Jolene and Atlas were in Lumi’s apartment when I got there on Thursday evening.
I was nervous because my friendship with Lumi was precious to me, and I didn’t want to ruin it by overstepping her boundaries.
A bottle of wine, water, and snacks were on the beautiful dining table that I’d helped Lumi pick out when she moved in here four years ago.
“I thought it would be a good idea if we discussed the purpose of this experiment and went over the rules that you must submit to,” Jolene stated.
I nodded for her to go on, took off my zip-up shirt, and hung it on the back of the Danish design chair that I was sitting in. The eight dining chairs were beautiful, but I still didn’t understand why Lumi had bought them when they weren’t as comfortable as many of the others we had looked at and tested.
“The purpose of this experiment is to help Lumi overcome her social anxiety. Lumi, you mentioned a few things that I wrote down, but I would like you to describe to us what you hope to get out of this week.”
“Well.” Lumi looked around the room like the answers were on the walls. “It’s not that I don’t have a good life, because I do. I’m able to form friendships and relationships, and I love my family.”
“We know.” Atlas smiled at Lumi. “And we love you too.”
“Thank you.” Lumi scratched her shoulder. “It’s the part about living a limited life that bothers me. I used to dream of having a family one day, and I guess that I still do, but with my tolerance and patience with people being so low, I don’t see that happening.”
We didn’t interrupt her but kept listening.
“I used to think there was something wrong with the people around me, but as I grow older, I realize that I’m the one pushing them away. If I’m honest, it’s beginning to feel lonely.”
“How do you push people away?” Jolene asked.
“I’m told that I’m cynical and have trust issues. Whenever I’ve dated someone, it’s hard for me to open up to them, and at the first sign of trouble, I pull back like a tortoise, ignoring their text messages or phone calls.”
Atlas took off his glasses and polished them with the fabric of his shirt. “Why? You’re never afraid of confrontations at work.”
“Work is different. If people push me around at work, my claws come out, but in private, I rarely invest enough in people to spend the energy. I know I can do fine on my own.”
“Hmm.” Jolene jotted down some notes. “So you’d rather cut people off than engage in fighting to resolve your issues.”
“Yes.”
“What caliber of trouble are we talking about? Can you give us some examples of what has made you pull back in the past?” Jolene asked.
“It can be simple arguments about why I don’t like to go out all the time, why I don’t talk about my past, or why I’m not eager to meet their family. One time my date got upset because I tipped the waiter too much. I took offense because I hate the idea of anyone telling me what to do. I heard the waitress say that she was a single mom, and it was January. Christmas is expensive, so I figured a few hundred euros would make a big difference to her.”
“I’m sure it did,” Jolene agreed. “Did you feel like your date was trying to control you?”
Lumi shrugged. “He said that he wasn’t, but I still retreated. As I said, I have a low tolerance for people.”
“It would make sense that growin’ up in a cult would make any person sensitive to others tryin’ to control them,” I said to support Lumi.
“Good point.” Jolene sat with her forearms on the table, and her fingers intertwined. “What about Damian? Are you invested in him enough that you’d stay and have an argument?”
I moved in my seat as past arguments came into my memory.
“Damian is important to me.”
“Good. There’s no doubt that the overexposure of his company will stress you out. But at least the handcuffs will force you to stay and resolve the situation instead of ghosting him.”
Lumi and I exchanged a glance.
