CHAPTER 11
Pathetic
Lumi
Damian’s tapping my shoulder made me turn to face him.
“Atlas is here,” he said.
I removed the headset and sat up to see Atlas coming toward us. “Did Charles ask you to come?”
“Yes. He just briefed me about your conversation this morning, and asked me to fetch you.”
Pushing up from the sunbed, I put on my cute sandals and stood up. Damian kept in his seat with a stubborn expression on his face that made me yank at the handcuffs.
“Let’s go.”
“I want to stay in the sun. Nathan and I are in the middle of an interesting conversation.”
“Then give me the key.” There was a subtle hiss to my tone because my emotions were raw from thinking about old painful memories from Damian’s wedding to Siobhan, and from overhearing Nathan and Damian talk about having sex with random women.
I ignored Damian’s “what’s your problem” look and focused on unlocking the handcuffs before I hurried inside with Atlas.
“Don’t tell Jolene about this,” I warned my brother. “She wants us to be tied together all the time.”
Altas raised a brow and stopped me with a hand to my shoulder. “Hey, before we go into Charles’ office, tell me how you’re holding up. It looks to me like the plan is working. Told you an overdose would do the trick and make you sick and tired of Damian.”
Stabbing my finger into Atlas’ chest, I scoffed. “It’s not going well at all, and I’m blaming you for it. Your stupid experiment was supposed to set me free, and instead, I’m falling hopelessly in love with that joker again.”
“You’re kidding.” Atlas looked horrified.
“No! At least I was functioning before, but now he’s around me all the time, and it’s triggering the old naïve hope that maybe he’ll love me.”
“But out there, you looked like you wanted to kill him. Why would you behave like that if you like him?”
“Because I’m upset about the whole situation.”
“Shit!” Atlas ran his hands through his hair. “Why aren’t you tired of him? Damian is fun, but he can be fucking annoying too.”
“I know. He cuts his bread wrong, he leaves the milk out, and he…” My shoulders sagged as I trailed off.
Atlas placed his hands on my upper arms, waiting for me to finish my sentence.
Lifting my face to look at him, I whispered in a sad tone, “No one makes me feel as safe and at home.”
“Oh.” Atlas’ face dropped.
I sighed and looked out the window at Nathan and Damian talking by the pool. “I’ve been here before, and I know what’s going to happen. Before long, Damian will have a new girlfriend. He’ll talk about her and then introduce her to us, expecting us to treat her as family. Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt.”
Atlas kept rubbing my arms but didn’t speak.
My voice was brittle when I lifted my gaze to meet my brother’s eyes. “Look at me. I’m a mess.”
“You’re not a mess.”
“Yes, I am! I’m a workaholic using my career as an excuse for not having a partner. But the sad truth is that I’m in love with a man who doesn’t want me.”
Sympathy shone from Atlas. “I’m sorry. Have you talked to Damian about it?”