Page 7 of Lumi
“That’s right.” I cleared my throat. “It’s ironic because I fear closeness. I get pressured if I don’t get my space.”
Jolene gave me a sideways glance. “Give me an example.”
“I don’t like to sleep in the same room as others.”
“You’ve slept in my room,” River interjected.
“When we were younger, but I wouldn’t want to do it now.”
“How does that work for you when you’re dating a guy?” Jolene asked me.
I chose to be honest. “It doesn’t. Any man who thinks we’ll be cuddling all night ends up disappointed. I’m not that type of woman. If I ever marry, we’ll have separate bedrooms and bathrooms.”
Damian rolled his eyes. “That’s nonsense. Then ye might as well hire a gigolo. What ye’re describing isn’t a marriage.”
“You’ve never cuddled a whole night with a man?” Jolene asked in an incredulous tone.
I avoided looking at Damian when I answered. “It’s not my thing.”
“Were you always like that?”
“No, I shared a room with my mum for the first seventeen years of my life. But since then, I’ve developed social anxiety. I don’t like closeness.”
“It can’t be that bad. You hug all of us,” Nathan said.
“Because you’re family. But last week, the lift at work was full, and I ended up walking seven flights of stairs in high heels because I don’t like to be close to others. Especially not men.”
Everyone at the table was staring at me.
“Just forget I said it,” I mumbled and leaned over the table for the salad.
“I knew you didn’t like big social events and that you’re picky with men, but I had no idea that you suffer from social anxiety to that extent. Is that why you’re still single?” River asked with sympathy.
“That, and because men are intimidated by my success. Men don’t like making less money than their girlfriends. At least not the men I’ve met.”
“Sounds like an excuse to me.” Damian was cutting his steak with harsh movements and his elbows out.
“What are you doing to overcome your fear of closeness?” Jolene asked me.
I shrugged and joked, “I’m thinking about getting a cat.”
Jolene watched me with a speculative glance. “It sounds like you have a lot to gain by overcoming your fears. Would you be open to a challenge?”
I clicked my tongue. “No, thank you.”
“No, don’t say that. At least listen to what kind of challenge Jolene is talking about,” River encouraged me.
We all turned to Jolene, who leaned her head back and thought for a second.
“It needs to be something that would push you far beyond your comfort zone and force you to work through your issues with closeness.”
“Ooh, I know.” River said with eagerness. “She could spend a whole day in a tight space with a stranger.”
“Not a chance!” I put down my knife and fork. “I hate tight spaces as much as I hate closeness.”
“Okay, so no tight spaces, but what if we linked you to a man with a pair of handcuffs?”
I smiled because it was ridiculous.
