Page 71 of Lumi
“I don’t know.”
“They both capture that special moment.”
I blinked at her, but the laughter that had flowed so easily just before suddenly got stuck in my throat.
“Don’t you get it?” Lumi asked and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I probably didn’t have the comic timing that our intern did, but I thought it was funny.”
“No, it’s fine, it’s just that…” My Adam’s apple bobbed in my throat. “We haven’t talked about last night. We didn’t use protection, Lumi.”
Her smile evaporated and gave way to frown lines instead.
“What happened? I mean, it was a lovely surprise, but I was half asleep and didn’t think about protection. Are ye on the pill?”
We were in the kitchen, and Lumi’s eyes looked to the entrance like she wanted to leave. I tucked my chained hand in my pocket, signaling that she wasn’t going anywhere.
“It was a spontaneous thing. I woke up from a dream, and it just happened.”
“But ye’re on the pill, right?”
“No,” she breathed.
The hair on my neck stood up. “But I came inside ye.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
My voice hardened. “Ye didn’t exactly stop me either.”
“I wasn’t thinking.”
“Bollocks! Ye always think, Lumi. It’s how yer brain works. What’s going on? Are ye tryin’ to do what Siobhan did and get pregnant without my consent?”
“Nooo.” She looked hurt from my accusation. “I’ve blamed myself all morning too, but that’s not gonna help anything.”
I groaned and rubbed my neck. “When was yer last period?”
“Last week.”
“Foock! Now I’m going to worry for weeks.”
Lumi hugged herself with her free hand. “You make it sound like it’s a disaster, but what’s the worst that can happen? You wanted to be a father.”
“Aye, but what if somethin’ goes wrong? There are important steps like prenatal vitamins, and ye definitely shouldn’t be drinkin’ if there’s a chance ye’re pregnant.”
“I’m healthy.”
“Siobhan looked healthy too. These things are tricky.” I felt my old trauma from losing my baby stir up old emotions of grief.
“Ahh, I see.”
“What do ye see?” I asked in a slightly raised tone.
“You told me that you want to find a woman with children, and now it makes sense why. After what happened, you’re scared of the risk of pregnancy,” Lumi declared as if she had just solved a hard math problem.
I nodded.
“You do understand that there was never anything wrong withyou. Nothing is holding you back from having biological children with a woman you love.”
“Except I’d be terrified until I had the baby in my arms.” I threw my hands up. “Why are we even havin’ this discussion? It’s not like you want a romantic relationship with me, and I sure as hell would have never jeopardized our friendship like this if I’d been fully awake.”
