Page 81 of Lumi
Atlas’ crossed his arms and exchanged a look with Jolene, who shifted her weight on her chair.
“You think I’m gentle?” Atlas asked Damian in a dry voice.
“I didn’t mean to offend yer masculinity, but ye’re a softie. Don’t try to deny it.”
Pushing his glasses back in place, Atlas drew in a deep breath. “I’m not going to, but I’m puzzled about your analysis that someone like me is better for Lumi than someone like you, Damian.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a good man.”
Jolene tapped her chin with a speculative glance. “First of all, Atlas isn’t as soft as you think, but that’s irrelevant. What I don’t understand is how you believe that a soft and educated scholar is worthier of Lumi than you are. As if what you bring to the table isn’t as impressive. I don’t want to speak for Lumi, but my guess is that she’s bored with scholars because she is already overthinking everything. A cerebral connection can be stimulating, but it probably doesn’t excite her sexually.”
I took a sip of my wine and looked away.
“Lumi, I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you, but would you mind describing the last three men you felt attracted to?” Jolene asked.
Clearing my throat, I thought about it. “Hmm, I’ve flirted a bit with Damian’s colleague at a party. Logan is handsome, and we have fun, I guess. About a month ago, I had two dates with a firefighter until I found out how incompatible we were. There’s also an American SWAT guy that I’ve been corresponding with online on and off for over a year.”
“A SWAT guy. Ye didn’t tell me that. Who is he?” Damian asked.
Jolene smiled. “And there is the accusatory tone again. Damian, do you hear it?”
Damian leaned back in his chair and kept quiet.
Jolene didn’t seem bothered and kept talking, “So, based on your recent history with men, I’d say you’re attracted to heroes who put their lives on the line to protect others. Can you think of who might have imprinted that attraction in you?”
My face felt burning hot, but I turned in my chair to look at Damian.
Unfolding his arms, Damian pointed a finger to his chest. “Me?”
Jolene tapped the table. “Bingo! You did that, Damian.”
“But Lumi was so young when I saved her.”
Jolene spoke in a level voice. “Our teenage years are a highly impressionable time in our lives. You literally swooped her into your arms and carried her to safety when she thought she was going to die. That’s powerful in itself, but with Lumi, there’s another element to what happened between you and her that night.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, think about it. Ever since you were born, the men in your life have failed you. First, there was your father who didn’t want you and whom you’ve never met. Then there was your patriarchal grandfather who abandoned your mother when she needed her family the most. And then that fatal night eleven years ago, you watched your mom pay the ultimate price of trusting the wrong man when Conor O’Brien shot her.”
I swallowed hard as emotions welled up in my chest.
Jolene reached over the table and took my hand. “Lumi, it makes perfect sense to me why you’re cynical and skeptical when it comes to men and love. Any woman with your past would be.”
Damian intertwined our cuffed hands and gave me a sympathetic smile as Jolene withdrew and continued:
“Damian, can you appreciate how rare it is for Lumi to feel safe with a man?”
He cleared his throat. “I never really thought about it much.”
“You’re doing this whole experiment because Lumi suffers from social anxiety and a fear of closeness, and why wouldn’t she? Normally, the sexual drive in humans will make us take risks and chances, but in Lumi’s case, she admits that she’s drawn to men with the same traits as you because you’re the only man she fully trusts outside her family.”
Damian turned his face to me. “Is that true?”
I bit my lip. “I haven’t thought about it like that, but what Jolene said resonates with me.”
“So, you see,” Jolene continued, looking at Damian. “You might think Lumi deserves an eloquent scholar who is as smart as her, but there’s an important detail that you’re forgetting.”
