Page 6 of Nathan
“No. The sound recording of Maddox and O’Brien is in a police file somewhere. We think that the video we found at the Red Manor with my mum’s name on it is the recording that Maddox used to blackmail O’Brien.”
Jolene spoke in her strong American accent. “The one where Conor forced your mom to kill herself?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re not going to watch it, are you?”
I scratched my shoulder. “I don’t want to, but I feel that I need to, at some point.”
“Why? What makes you feel that you need to?” Jolene’s fingers were fiddling with the fabric of her silk shirt and I could tell she was holding back what she really wanted to say. I knew she was a trained psychologist, and maybe that was why she never came straight out with telling others how to live their lives. Instead, her style was to ask questions that would help them reflect.
I thought about it. “I don’t know; I just feel that if my mother was willing to sacrifice her life for me, then at least I should be able to watch her make that sacrifice.”
Jolene folded her hands and looked down at them. “Only you can say what feels right to you, but I agree with the others; you shouldn’t watch it by yourself.”
“I won’t.”
“I’ve studied psychopaths for a while now, and yet I’m disturbed how Conor gained power over people and used them in cruel sadistic ways.”
My adoptive brother, Atlas, was quiet, and like always, when his father’s name came up, I felt sorry for him.
“Did Atlas tell you about the snake?” Liv asked Jolene. “Can you believe that for years, Conor planted that damn snake in Nathan’s bed and pretended he couldn’t see it when Nathan screamed for help? What kind of adult does something that evil to a child?” Liv scrunched up her face with disgust.
Jolene offered me another look of sympathy, and then she turned her head to River, who stood leaning against the windowsill. “You shared a room with Nathan, didn’t you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Did you ever see the snake?”
“A few times, but Conor had me convinced that I couldn’t trust myself. He always reminded me that my mother was insane and that I might be as well. Most of the time, when it happened, it was dark in our room, and Conor would block my view. The few times I saw the snake, I was scared of admitting it to Conor.”
Jolene snorted. “Honestly, it makes me so angry. His strategy was clearly to make you dependent on him. And of course, the irony is that from what Atlas told me, Conor was the one who drove your mother to insanity in the first place. Do you ever see her?”
River shrugged. “I’ve gone to see my mum, but she doesn’t recognize me. It’s like she’s stuck in a time zone where I was a little girl. Nathan and I went when I was around fifteen, and she kept asking if I knew her daughter. We tried to explain to her that I was her daughter, but she didn’t believe us. To her, I’ll always be nine years old.”
Taking Atlas’ hand, Jolene sat for a moment before she looked around. “I’m so sorry that you all had to go through such awful things.”
Liv reached for a piece of chocolate. “You didn’t exactly have it easy either.”
Atlas lovingly rubbed Jolene’s back as the dramatic story of how they met hung in the air.
“At least something amazing came out of my suffering,” Jolene said in a soft voice and exchanged a long glance with Atlas.
“Something amazing came from the Red Manor cult as well,” Liv said and spread out her hands. “We’re a family because of what happened back then. Maybe a bit dysfunctional at times, but bonded together because of the tragedy.”
She was right. Atlas, Lumi, River, Maximum, and I were the only surviving children of the cult, and long ago, we had made a pact always to have each other’s back. Today we were spread around the world, with Lumi and me here in Dublin, River in London, Atlas in Chicago, and Maximum traveling around Asia to help the poor. But no matter how far apart we were, our experience growing up in the cult and losing twenty-eight family members and friends in one night would always bond us.
With another soft smile, Jolene looked at us. “I think that’s all we can do: focus on the positives.”
“River, why won’t you come and sit down with the rest of us?” Liv asked.
“I’m fine here.”
“But you keep looking at the clock. Is there some place you need to be?”
“It’s nothing.” River flashed another polite smile while Atlas pushed up from the couch and offered Jolene a hand.
“Let’s go see who’s winning in pool, shall we?”
