Page 98 of Nathan
“Did you tell her that?”
“Yes, she knows.”
“Do you think the two of you have a real chance? I’ve dated Americans, and they’re not like us.”
“Please don’t compare Serena with Isaac. The man was a bloody disaster. He overdosed in the bathroom the first time you brought him home to meet us.”
River planted her chin in her palm and sighed. “I’d like to say that was the worst he did, but that would be a lie.”
“How could he possibly top overdosing?”
River held her hands in front of her face. “He once got so drunk that he peed in bed.” Her fingers parted enough for her to look through. “While I was sleeping next to him.”
I gaped at River. “I don’t even know what to say anymore. Your love life is such a catastrophe that it makes mine look like paradise.”
River lowered her arms and wrapped them around herself. For a moment we sat in silence and then she lifted her index fingers to dry the tears along the underside of her mascara. “You know what’s truly depressing?”
“What?
“Before… when you said that you couldn’t have a long-distance relationship with Serena, I actually thought that long distance would be the right type of relationship for me. Perhaps loving someone from afar would make it easier.”
“I don’t follow. How would it make it easier? I can’t stop thinking about Serena, and it’s not just that I’m horny all the time, it’s more that I worry something bad is gonna happen to her, and I can’t be there to protect her. Or that she’s sad because she read or heard something upsetting, and I’m not there to hold her in my arms. A long-distance relationship is unsatisfying for both parties.”
River’s brow furrowed. Her eyes were downturned, following her finger as it ran over the edge of the antique table. “Most of the conflicts I have with the men I date are related to a lack of closeness. I don’t enjoy the physical part of a relationship.”
I frowned. “Liar. You love cuddling. Remember how you always begged to sleep in our beds, and we would take turns letting you?”
River didn’t look up but kept the serious expression on her face. “That’s different. None of you ever wanted anything sexual. Men want a different kind of physical contact.”
My eyes narrowed as I tried to understand what River was telling me. “Are you saying that you don’t enjoy sex?”
River shrugged. “At times, I think that’s why I loved Storm so much. He never wanted anything from me, at least not in that sense.”
“You never had sex with Storm?”
“He said he wanted to wait for marriage, and I was relieved.”
“Youbelievedhim?” My tone was incredulous.
“I told you, Americans are different from us. Many are religious and have strong ideas about marriage and sex. Storm and I still kissed and made out, of course, but no, we never went all the way.”
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. River seemed oblivious to my state of confusion as she sat with her eyes glazed over like someone deep in thought.
“Do you think Storm had affairs with men behind my back?”
I swallowed hard. With the endless hours of crying River had gone through ever since she found out that Storm was homosexual, I had to be careful. At the same time, I didn’t want to lie.
“Ehm, it’s possible.”
She gave two slow blinks of her eyes but kept looking into nothingness. “I’ve been so naïve, haven’t I? All the times when I smelled different colognes on him but never questioned it because it was always masculine scents.”
“Maybe you were in denial because it was convenient for you.”
“Yes, perhaps.”
“As I see it, Storm used you to make him look good, but he also knew that he couldn’t stay with you too long or you’d find out about his secret. When the film studio asked him to be part of that scam with Serena, it provided him with a way to end his relationship with you without having to tell you the truth. Serena provided an even better cover because she wasn’t interested in getting close to him.”
River gave me a sideways glance. “Makes sense.”
