Page 15 of Dreaming at Seaside
They continued down the aisle, and this time he didn’t touch her back as they moved through the crowd. She wondered if she’d completely turned him off.
“Thanks for offering to pay, but it’s a pride thing.”A pride thing? What on earth is wrong with me? You’re trying to be nice and I’m being a jerk.But it was kind of a pride thing, wasn’t it? Bella took pride in being able to take care of herself, financially and in other ways.
“A pride thing? Okay, got it. I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t afford to pay for your own hair bands. It was just a natural reaction to offer, I guess.”
“A natural reaction? So you buy things for every woman you go shopping with?” She smiled to let him know she was teasing, but the look he returned was serious.
“I don’t usually shop with women, so I guess the answer is yes, because it felt natural with you.”
His gaze was so hot, it brought sweat to her brow.
His cell phone vibrated, severing the connection. As he pulled the phone from his pocket, Bella sucked in a deep breath to get her bearings.What is wrong with me?He was sucking her right into the crazy man world again. The world where decisions were made based on feelings and minds were too filled with lust and anticipation to think straight. Where, for most guys, lies went hand in hand with getting a girl into bed. But he didn’t seem at all crazy. She had to be strong.Fix my life. Then date. Maybe.A moment later, she felt his body press against her back.Oh, you feel good.His hands gripped her hips, and he guided her out of the center of the crowded aisle.
He looked down at her with honest, dark eyes, and the last of her steely resolve slipped away. She wanted to kiss that sexy dip in his chin and run her tongue along his lower lip. She wanted to press her hands to his chest and feel the hard muscle beneath the soft cotton. She wanted to be in his arms and feel the passion that fueled him to wrap his life around a child at such a young age—and at the same time, she wanted to turn and run as fast and as far away as she could. Because Bella knew that once she opened the door to her heart, making clear-headed decisions would no longer be easy, and pain was sure to follow.
“That was Evan. Those kids he was talking to want him to hang out with them for the afternoon, so I need to go meet them. Do you have time to hang out? Maybe go to the beach while he’s with his friends?”
No. Definitely not.The words were on the tip of her tongue, which is why when she heard herself say, “Sure,” she knew she was in trouble.
THEY STOPPED AT Caden’s house so he could change into his bathing suit. He’d gotten a sweet deal on the three-bedroom rambler, built at the end of a cul-de-sac and just a few blocks from the bay. Since he moved in, he’d had the hardwood floors replaced, renovated the kitchen, and painted the house top to bottom. He had simple taste, and as he watched Bella’s eyes moving from the brown sectional to the built-in bookshelves, where they lingered on the titles, then circled back to the glass coffee table, and finally landed on the frames on the mantel, he wondered what she was thinking.
She walked over to the mantel and took down a picture of him and Evan. It was taken at Evan’s sixth birthday party, and it was one of Caden’s favorite photos. Evan’s eyes were wide and his gap-toothed grin was so innocent. The image still tugged at Caden’s heartstrings. His hair was long and curly around his sweet little-boy face.
He moved behind Bella and looked over her shoulder. “Good times.”
“I’m glad he met some kids today.”
“Yeah. Me too. It’s a weird feeling to let him go off by himself with a new crowd, but he’s going to be fifteen soon, and if I parent him too much, he’ll be an outcast. Too little will open the door to delinquency.”
“At least you care,” she said. “There are a lot of parents who don’t. They leave the kids to video games and the Internet and never even check in on them. It’s nice that you spend time together.”
“It’s nice for me. Sometimes I feel like I’m forcing myself on him.”
She smiled, like she completely understood. “That’s what being a teenager is all about. They’re so confused all the time, so it’s only natural for their parents to be confused, too. I say, give them rope. Tug them in when they need it, and give ’em more rope when they earn it. If they don’t hang themselves, you’ve done well. If they do, then you probably still did well, but you missed a hint of trouble along the way.”
She set the frame back on the mantel and looked at the others. When she continued, her tone was serious but cushioned with compassion.
“What’s most important is that if you did miss something, you don’t leave him hanging until his eyes pop out and he can’t find his way back. You lift him up by the bootstraps and kick him in the butt—figuratively, not literally. Walk with him down a better path. Give him the tools he needs and the understanding to become a better person. Teach yourself to become a better parent; then you both move forward together. A little bruised, a little embarrassed, but whole.” She shrugged as if she hadn’t just said something that made his world spin.
You’re amazing.How could a woman who had never been a parent know so much about raising children? “You’re wise and beautiful. That’s a lethal combination.” He felt himself opening up to Bella in so many ways, and after keeping those parts of himself closed off for so long, he wondered if she could feel it, too.
“That’s kind of why I’m working on this work-study project for the high school.”
He made a mental note about her needing to skirt around compliments and tried again to see if he’d read her discomfort correctly.
“Because you’re wise and beautiful?” he teased.
Her cheeks flushed. “Because idle hands lead to trouble, and a lot of parents don’t have the income to send their kids to college. So the more kids I can help gain experience in trades, or secure jobs for after graduation, the better chance they’ll have at a meaningful future. Whether that’s through more schooling that the companies subsidize, or through stronger self-esteem and pride in what they accomplish…” She shrugged. “The path they take doesn’t matter, as long as they get there.”
“Your passion for helping kids makes you even more beautiful.” He couldn’t keep the compliment to himself. It was true, and he wanted her to know that. He knew he was pushing, maybe a little too hard, given her wrinkled brow, but he wanted to find out what had caused her to disbelieve compliments, and he wanted to ease the hurt of whatever it was. He moved a little closer, and heat flared in her eyes. She shifted them away and picked up another frame.
She studied the picture of him and George, arm in arm, dressed in their uniforms. It was taken the week before he was killed. George was a stocky man with skin as dark as night and piercing coal-black eyes that could make a criminal wet his pants or a woman melt, depending on the look he slayed them with. He had a laugh that rumbled from deep in his gut, and he was the best friend a man could have.
“Was this your partner?”
Was.Caden’s throat thickened. “Mm-hm. George.”
Her eyes remained on the photo, but she wrapped one arm around Caden’s waist and hugged him close. She stayed there for a beat, with her cheek pressed to his chest and her eyes on the man who had meant so much to him. In that silence, he realized how much he longed to share the pieces of himself that he’d kept bottled up for too long.
