Page 24 of Dreaming at Seaside
“I hide?”
“Yeah. You tuck away parts of yourself. I can’t explain it, but I’ve known you long enough to recognize it. It’s not a bad thing. It’s like when I’m surfing. The people I meet around my competitions want to know me because of what I stand for, not who I am. So around those people, I don’t show my real self. You kind of do the same thing. Maybe it’s not the loud part of you that makes relationships difficult, but it’s keeping that other part of you walled off that, I don’t know, creates a gap. Guys feel that, you know. When you women think we don’t know you’re hiding something, we totally see it.”
She chewed on that thought for a minute. There was probably some truth to it, but she wanted to finish her thoughts, and she was too distracted to define those pieces of truth just then. She pushed the thought away to deal with later.
“Okay, maybe you’re right in some ways. And you’re also right, Tony, about me not screwing around for the sake of screwing around.”
“Wait. Hold up.” Jenna held her palm up toward Bella. “Timmy Brown? Taylor Marks? Do either of those ring a bell?”
“Okay, so maybe there were a few times. For crying out loud, Jenna, what were we? Twenty-two? But it’s not a habit, and you know that. I might talk big, but I want love like everyone else does. I want the stupid white picket fence and the,Hi, honey; I’m home, and all the other baloney that goes along with it.”
Tony shrugged. “Okay, but why can’t you have that and a career?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not some desperate woman who thinks she’s not worth being loved.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sonotthat person.”
“We know that.” Tony reached out and touched her hand. “I was just worried that you gave up everything because of a guy.”
“Nope. He was just a nudge to get off my butt and do what I really want to do. I’m a realist. I can handle this, and it’s a good thing. I might actually get to live in my favorite place on earth and fill my creative soul with a challenge.” She inhaled deeply, feeling her smile fill her with happiness. “So my very long-winded answer about why he had the power to hurt me is that he didn’t. He lied about his wife and about his commitment to me, and yes, that stung, and maybe it even made me worry about guys knowing how tonotlie. I am only human. But I didn’t make my decision to change my life and my dating habitsbecauseof Jay. I did it because of me. I happened to realize what I wanted at the same time that I broke up with him.” She shrugged again.
Tony sat back and crossed his arms. He slid a concerned look to Jenna.
Jenna shrugged. “The woman does know how to take control.”
He shifted his eyes back to Bella. “I can’t argue with that. You’re right. It’s actually a ballsy move.”
“Thank you.”
“What about not-your-date?” Tony asked. “What’s your plan with him? He brought his kid over. Chances are he’s not a scrump and dumper.”
“Not-my-date and I have a not-a-date tonight. Speaking of which, now that I’ve spilled my pathetic guts, I need to get some work done so I can be ready by six.”
CADEN STOPPED AT the hardware store on his way home from the station to pick up extra window and door locks for the house, and while he was there, he picked up locks for Bella’s cottage, too. There had been another break-in last night, and he was not taking any chances. He put his bags on the kitchen table and unbuttoned his shirt.
“Ev?” he called down the hall.
Evan didn’t answer.
“Evan?” He knocked on Evan’s bedroom door, and a minute later, Evan opened it. His hair was uncombed, his shirt was wrinkled, as if he’d pulled it from the hamper.
“Hey, Dad. Sorry. I didn’t hear you.” He went to his computer and studied the screen. “We’re going to Jamie’s at six, right?”
“Yeah. I need to shower and change, and you should, too.” He moved behind Evan and scanned the monitor. “What’s Python?”
“A program.”
“For?” He felt out of touch with Evan lately, and he didn’t like it. His interest in computers was just one aspect of the distance that had crept between them. He’d decided last night that he was going to do whatever he could to spend time with Bella and explore his feelings for her, and now he made another commitment. He was going to study up on technology so he could at least understand the basics of the things Evan was interested in.
“There was another break-in last night.”
“I know.” Evan’s eyes remained trained on the computer screen.
“How do you know?”
Evan pointed to the computer. “That stuff’s public information. Wellfleet has a daily crime report that they publish.”
“And you read it?” Caden thought he knew his son pretty well, but he never would have guessed that he’d have an interest in a crime report. He wondered what else Evan was reading that he didn’t know about. He had parental controls on the computer to keep him off of porn sites, but he of all people knew there were other dangers lurking out there.
“Dad, you’re a cop. Haven’t you drilled safety into my head since I was, like, two?” Evan shook his head. “You always say that it’s the people who don’t pay attention to their surroundings that get themselves into trouble.”
