Page 30 of Dreaming at Seaside
Chapter Eight
BELLA COULDN’T REMEMBER ever being out with a man when everything they did, everything they talked about, every glance, every touch, felt so right. True to his word, they’d eaten dinner on a cloth-covered picnic table using plastic utensils and plastic wineglasses—and Bella felt as though she were the richest, and the luckiest, woman in the world. What Caden hadn’t told Bella ahead of time was where he was taking her after dinner. They climbed the metal stairs to the top of the South Wellfleet fire tower. The higher they climbed, the chillier it became. Bella’s heart was beating so fast, she clutched the railings to keep herself grounded. She couldn’t believe he’d gotten permission for them to climb the tower she’d been practically drooling over for so many years. This was her ultimate rule-breaking moment, and she loved that they were doing it together, even though he had permission to take her up to the top, so she wasn’t technically breaking a rule. It was still thrilling after so many years of anticipation.
She stood in the room at the top with her back against Caden’s warm body, his arms circling her waist, and gazed out over Wellfleet, wishing they could stay there all night.
“Do you know how many years I’ve dreamed of coming up here?” Bella leaned back against his chest. The view was more spectacular than she’d ever dreamed. The tips of tall pines gave way to the moonlit bay. Just down the road, the grassy mounds snaked through the ink-black water of the marsh, looking ominous and hazy. Though she couldn’t see the ocean, she knew it was in the opposite direction, just beyond the darkness.
“How many years?” Caden kissed her cheek.
“It feels like my whole life. How did you make this happen?”
He pressed his cheek to hers. “Pulled a favor from a friend.”
He kissed the spot below her ear and guided her down to the floor. She sat between his legs with her back against his chest, gazing up at the stars. The breeze sent goose bumps up Bella’s limbs, but Caden’s warmth enveloped her.
“Do you mind if I take a picture of us?” He pulled out his cell phone and held it at arm’s length.
“Not as long as you text me a copy.” She smiled and he clicked the picture.
“I’ve had a really good time tonight.” Bella traced a muscle on his forearm with her index finger.
“Me too. I think it’s the best not-a-date I’ve ever had.” He tightened his arms around her.
Not-a-date.This was definitelynotnot-a-date, but admitting that would send her right down a road that opened her up to either getting hurt or not being able to make clear decisions. The realization worried her just enough to tuck it away. She wanted to—had to—stick to her guns about figuring her life out before getting involved in a real relationship.
This feels real.
Very real.
She suppressed the urge to admit just that and forced herself to use that energy toward getting to know him better. If she had hopes of one day allowing the feelings blooming between them to flower—after her life was figured out and she was settled—she needed to understand who he was, the bad and the good.
“Can I ask you a personal question without ruining the romantic vibe we have going on?” Bella asked.
“I’ll tell you what. How about you ask and we’ll see how it goes? I can’t imagine what you could ask that could change how amazing it feels to be with you.”
She turned sideways, curling her legs up against his thigh. She ran her finger down his chest. “I love how open you are with me, but if you’d rather not talk about this, I would understand.”
He kissed her lips. “I have nothing to hide.”
“Okay.” She lowered her voice with the sensitive question. “What was it like raising Evan when you were so young?”
“That’s the scary question? I’ve been asked that question a lot over the years, and I usually give an answer that won’t lead to more questions, like,Amazing, orTotally worth it.”
Bella felt his heart beating calm and even. He gazed up at the stars, and when his eyes met hers again, she sensed his honesty before the words even left his lips.
“When I showed up at my parents’ house that first night, I was so full of love and hurt that I’m not sure I was able to even think clearly. Or maybe I was thinking clearly for the first time in my life. If you want to know if I ever questioned my decision to raise him, the answer is no. Not even at the most difficult times.”
“How did your parents handle it?”
“My parents…” He paused, and a smile warmed his eyes. “They were looking at their twenty-year-old son and their grandchild. How do you think they reacted? They were scared to death about me leaving college and thrilled about this little baby boy that was a part of me. A part of our family.”
Bella shifted in his arms, and finally his eyes met hers—warm, loving, and without regret. Like him.
“They tried to convince me to go back to school. They even offered to raise Evan, but there was no part of me that wanted to go back to that life. It was as if the minute Evan was mine, all that drinking and partying was from another lifetime altogether.”
“They say that the love you have for a child is unlike love you have for any other.”
“Without a doubt. That was true in my case. My father has always been a strong influence in my life. He’s the kind of man who always—always—does the right thing.” A soft laugh slipped from his lips. “He taught me to hunt and fish, and he taught me to value friendships over nonsense. Everything he did, it seemed, held a lesson about responsibility, and the way he was—is—with my mother was like a silent lesson in love.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I had their support, and it made everything a little easier.”
