Page 80 of Dreaming at Seaside
He rolled onto his back beside her, surprised at the truth streaming from his subconscious. He’d never admitted his fear to anyone before, or just how deep it ran.
She stroked his cheek. “I’m sure you didn’t mess him up for good. He’s just settling in. This time next year he’ll have forgotten how hard it was; he’ll have new technology club friends. You’ll see.”
“I hope so. It would kill me if I realized that although I moved here with the sole intent of protecting Evan, I had somehow made the worst decision of his life, while it was the best decision of mine.” He closed his eyes for a beat, and when he opened them, he noticed Bella’s eyes were damp.
“You’re such a good dad, Caden.” She pressed her lips to his, and her voice turned serious. “Are you considering moving back to Boston?”
He shook his head. “I moved here for a reason, and that reason hasn’t changed. I just have to believe that it was for the best. That it was fated to be.”
“You believe in fate?”
“Well, I think you and I were destined to be together. And I also think you’re skipping out on sharing your secret.” He kissed her again, then ran his finger down her cheek. “Why do you pretend that you don’t have a love of all things girly?”
“I don’t pretend. It’s just not part of my personality.” She ran her finger along his arm.
“But it is, babe. You’re very feminine.”
“I’m brash, and loud, and take charge.” She furrowed her brow, and it made him smile.
“You are self-confident, independent, and secure. But you’re also feminine. You wear dresses every day. You walk with graceful steps, and your hips swing in an extremely feminine fashion. You flirt like a seductress, and sometimes you get this look in your eyes when we’re talking.” He breathed her in, giving himself a second to catch his breath. “It’s tender and sweet. Your essence is girly, babe, no matter how much you try to deny it.”
Her cheeks heated. “I don’t try to. I just don’t share it with many people. I like knowing that I can bang nails into my own deck and move furniture, or…” She rolled her eyes. “Whatever else I need to do. And as a woman, when you can’t do those things, I think it makes you vulnerable. It lessens your strength and independence.”
“Does Amy do all those things?”
She laughed. “Are you kidding? No. Neither does Jenna.”
He arched a brow. “So, I don’t get it. Do you have any less respect for them?”
“Of course not.” She lay flat on her back and covered her face with her arm. “It’s just my thing. I can’t even believe I’m telling you this. Really, when did you enter the zone that has always been reserved for just my Seaside girlfriends?”
“Since we fell in love,” he whispered.
She reached for his hand, needing the safety of him while she exposed her secret. “I was really girly when I was a teenager, but it seemed like every time I asked a guy for help with anything—my car, carrying something heavy—they always wanted something sexual in return. I learned pretty quickly that guys tended to take advantage of girly girls, so I decided not to be that person anymore, at least not publicly. Is that a big deal? That I keep my girly side private and only share it with those I really care about?”
He shifted so she was beneath him. “It is a big deal to me, to be included in those you care about.” He kissed her chin. “I adore your girly side.”
She licked her lips. “Would you rather I got my handcuffs and took you every which way on my terms?”
He took her in a greedy kiss, aroused by the thought of being restrained by her.
“One day I’d love to see you take control.” He kissed her again.
“But not tonight, lover girl.” He kissed her softly. “Tonight I just want to be close. No games, no props, no diversions. I just want to love you.”
