Page 95 of Dreaming at Seaside
Chapter Twenty-Three
THE NEXT FEW days were a blur of merely making it from one minute to the next, each moving slower than the last. Caden did everything he could to try to ignore the emptiness that threatened to suck him under at any moment. He went for morning runs after staying up at night, fighting the urge to call Bella to try to win her back. Every time he drove by Seaside, it took all of his willpower not to pull into the development, bang on her door, and forget trying to give Evan his full attention. Each day after his shift, he spent time with Evan, and while he tried to enjoy their time together and he knew he was doing the right thing for his son, without Bella, he felt like a piece of him was missing.
“Dad. Dad!”
Evan’s frustrated voice pulled Caden from his thoughts. Evan stood on the front porch with one hand on the doorknob. His eyes were clear, and although his tone was frustrated, the old familiar ease that had once surrounded Evan with every breath had returned almost completely, confirming to Caden that he’d done the right thing. At least where Evan was concerned.
“Are you ready to leave? Should I lock the door?” Evan asked.
Today was Friday, and they were going to Boston for the day. “Sure, buddy. I’m ready.” Except he was anything but ready. He’d invited Bella on the trip, and he’d been looking forward to showing her around his old stomping grounds and introducing her to his friends and to his parents.
“I can’t wait to get there,” Evan said as he climbed into the car. He no longer had his phone, since it was turned in to the police as evidence. He was chattier without it, and while Caden usually enjoyed their talks, he was too sidetracked to hold much of a conversation. He tried to push aside his thoughts of Bella, but their sharp edges refused to be ignored.
“Me too, buddy.”
“I told Vera I would come by Sunday and clean up around her garden. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll bike over.” Evan turned on his iPod and pressed an earbud into his ear.
Caden touched his arm, and when Evan pulled out the earbud, he said, “I’m proud of you, Ev. No one forced you to apologize or offer to help Vera. That says a lot about the person you are.” He was thankful that both Jamie and Vera had accepted Evan’s apology. Evan had told them everything, just as he’d told Caden and Chief Bassett. Vera was very gracious with him, and although Caden still felt the hint of a fissure between Jamie and Evan, Jamie had said he had forgiven Evan, and Caden could tell that he was working on letting it go. He knew it had to be difficult. It was difficult for Caden at first, too, and Caden was his father. But love heals, and he knew their friendship would, too.
Evan shrugged. “I guess.”
“And I think telling TGG about what happened was the smart thing to do. It’s a small enough town that people will hear about what went down, and this way it’s not a skeleton in your closet.” They’d just come from TGG, where Evan was accepted as an apprentice for five hours each week, even after his confession. It was a start, and it was something that Evan was excited about and proud of.
“I know, Dad. I get it.” He pushed the earbuds back in and looked out the window, leaving Caden to indulge in his painful thoughts until he felt as if he were drowning.
Two hours later, they pulled up in front of Caden’s parents’ house. The one-story rambler was nestled between two similar homes on a quiet residential street. He climbed from the car, remembering the night he’d brought Evan home for the first time. He remembered his mother’s hand covering her mouth, her eyes filled with tears, as she reached for the sleeping baby. Now, as he walked up the front stoop with Evan beside him, he remembered how difficult it had been to hand him over—even to his own mother. In those few short hours between Caty placing Evan in his hands and Caden arriving at his parents’ home, Evan had already become his world.
“Leave your skateboard on the porch,” Caden said out of habit before they walked inside.
In a few short years, Evan would be off to college, and before he and Bella broke up, Caden had allowed himself to think of a future with her. He’d imagined lazy weekend mornings in bed and evening walks holding hands. He’d pictured them visiting Evan in college the way his parents had visited him, and one day, being the grandparents waiting on the stoop for Evan and—he hoped—his wife to hand them their first grandchild. And now sadness burrowed deep inside him.
“Hey there, bucko.” Caden’s father, Steven, was a burly man with thick arms and a belly that could use a little less of Caden’s mother’s home cooking. Steven embraced Evan and smiled over his shoulder at Caden. Caden had called his father Wednesday and filled him in on everything that had happened.
“Hi, Grandpa.” Evan pulled out of his grandfather’s arms, but before he could escape to follow the aroma of fresh-baked bread toward the kitchen, Steven ruffled his hair. Evan reached up to do the same to him and laughed when his grandfather playfully swatted his hand.
“Go say hi to Grandma.” His father held Caden’s gaze for a beat before embracing him.
Caden closed his eyes and reveled in the comfort of his father’s arms. He’d always been Caden’s rock, his sounding board.
“He’s giving you a run for your money, isn’t he?” Steven searched his son’s eyes and furrowed his brow. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m good, Pop,” he lied.
Steven slung an arm around his shoulder and guided him toward the kitchen. “I’m not sure I’m buying that, but come say hello to your mother.”
What his father really meant was,Let’s see if your mother believes you. Caden felt as transparent as Saran Wrap.
They found his mother pulling a hot loaf of bread from the oven. She smiled as they entered the cozy kitchen. Amber Grant was tall and thin, with auburn hair and hazel eyes that could stop a clock. Baking was a weekly ritual, and because of that, the house always smelled warm and inviting.
“Caden. You didn’t tell me that Evan grew an inch.” She set the pan on the top of the stove and took off her oven mitts. Her hazel eyes roved over Caden’s face before she patted his cheek. “You okay, honey?”
“Fine, Ma. It’s good to see you.” Caden embraced her. “Did Ev grow? I guess since I see him all the time, I didn’t notice.”Par for the course these days, but I’m working on that.
“Oh, honey.” She swatted the air. “There was one summer when you grew five inches and your father didn’t notice until I mentioned it. I think it’s a man thing. You men have busy minds or something.”
