Page 19 of Secrets at Seaside
It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t try to respond. Silence stretched between them, doing nothing to dampen the heat that spread like wildfire beneath her palms.
“I want it to be you,” she said with hopeful eyes.
“So do I, Amy, but…” Had she buried their past so deep that she truly didn’t remember? “Amy, what happened between us wasn’t a mistake.”
She turned away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Her shoulders rounded forward. Tony touched her arm with his fingertips, just to ground her. To let her know he wasn’t going anywhere, and he wasn’t going to let her send him away this time.
“Yes, you do,” he said firmly.
Her wet hair stuck to her back as she shook her head.
“Amy, we were in love. We were kids. We didn’t—”
She covered her ears with her hands.
Tony took a deep breath and pushed on. “We made love a dozen times, and I know it was my fault. I never should have made love to you without protection. I take full responsibility, but please, Amy. Please don’t shut me out this time.”
He felt her trembling and stepped closer, pressing his chest to her back and circling her waist with his arms.
“I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to be there for you.”
She broke free and crossed the room, waving her hands behind her, motioning for him to stop. To leave. To shut up.
“Amy…”
“Stop it, okay? Stop it. Just stop. I can’t go there.” Her words were garbled by sobs as she leaned both palms on the kitchen counter and bowed her head.
He wasn’t going to lose her again. He’d come this far. He had to say his piece, no matter how much she fought him on it.
“We never dealt with it, Amy, and we have to.”
She spun around with venom in her eyes. “I dealt with it, Tony. I moved on. It never happened.”
In three determined steps they were toe to toe. He didn’t touch her, didn’t want to get her any angrier.
“It happened,” he insisted just above a whisper.
She shook her head, and her body trembled.
“It happened, Amy, and it wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”
Tears streaked her cheeks as she inhaled a jagged breath. “I…No.”
“Yes, Amy. It happened. Look at me. Please.”
She stared at the floor as she whispered, “I never blamed you.”
“You didn’t have to. I blamed myself. Every minute of every day.”
She lifted her red-rimmed eyes. “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered. “It was mine.”
Tony couldn’t keep himself from touching her, comforting her. He brought his hands to her cheeks and looked directly into her haunted eyes.
“Baby, you’re wrong. So very wrong.”
For a few seconds they stared into each other’s eyes. Years of hurt passing between them like shards of glass, until Amy shrugged from his grip again and crossed the room with too much rancor in each step. It cut Tony to his core. How long could she pretend she was okay?
