Page 21 of Seized by Love at Seaside
“Nothing. It’s just easy to forget that my life is complicated.”
“You keep telling me that, but I just don’t see it. So you run a business? So do I.” He brushed her hair from her face and kissed her again. “Lizzie, we both have busy lives. So what? I love being with you, and you seem to enjoy being with me.”
“Too much. That’s the problem.” She was clutching his waist like she had last night. He could feel her desire in the firmness of her grip, which was in stark contrast to the worry in her eyes. He wished he knew why she was holding back. He didn’t want to just be with her. He wanted to know everything about her, to care for her, for her to be his and for him to be hers.
“Why?”
“Because my life isn’t about going out with a great guy.” Her voice escalated. “Or sleeping on his couch, comfortable and safe against him, or making out in the morning and wanting to laze the day away in his arms.”
“Whoa.” The harsh regret in her voice startled him. He held her against his chest, feeling her heart beating fast and hard. “You’re really upset.” He tipped her chin up and looked into her confused eyes. “Talk to me.”
She swallowed hard, as if she could contain whatever was creating distance between them, and silently shook her head.
“Do you want me to take you home? We don’t have to spend the day together.” The last thing he wanted was to cause her pain of any kind. Even if he didn’t understand why she needed space, he’d give it to her. He’d give her anything she needed.
“No.” She clung to his arms. “More than anything else, I want to spend the day with you.”
“Well, that makes me happy, but we’ll go back to only kissing.”Even if it kills me.“I never want you to regret being close to me.”
She pressed her cheek to his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I will never,everregret being close to you.” She gazed up at him and smiled, but he swore he saw something else there. Maybe not regret, but something curious. “I’ve never felt so much for someone so fast, and I’m sure it’s because we were friends for so long before we decided to become more. I’ve never had that type of foundation with anyone else I’ve gone out with. I feel so comfortable with you. It’s easy to skip all those early, awkward moments. And that’s amazing, but scary, too.”
Fear, that had to be the flicker he’d seen in her eyes a moment ago.
“You’re scared.” He breathed a little easier. This he could handle. This he understood. Sarah Jane had left him scared of letting anyone too close, and Lizzie had touched something in him that made him willing to push past that fear for the first time in more than a decade. “I’m scared, too.”
They held each other for a long while, and Blue knew they were each contemplating their fears and the goodness of what they felt. When Lizzie’s breathing calmed and she took a step back, they left the cabin to take her home, so she could shower and change as Blue had promised—but hopefully not change her mind.
In the truck Lizzie moved beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. It already felt likeherspot, and as he drove to her house, he found himself opening up to her.
“I haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time, and I’m not sure what the rules are. Or how fast we should go, or any of that. All I know is that for the first time since I was in college, I want a relationship, and I want it with you. I want to figure out the complicated things, and I want to know what scares you.” He stopped at a red light and gazed into her eyes. “I want to be the guy you can count on. The person you trust with your secrets and the guy you let in here.” He pressed a kiss over her heart.
“You make it all sound so easy.” She fidgeted with the edge of her shirt.
“It’s not going to be easy, but we both know that nothing worth anything is easy. I want happy, not easy, and I know we can have that together.”
Chapter Eight
AFTER BLUE DROPPED Lizzie off at her house with more heart-stopping kisses, she showered and dressed as quickly as she could, thinking about the things he’d said. He wanted a relationship with her, and just as she’d feared, going out with Blue had unearthed the feelings that had been seeding and growing over the past year. And overnight they’d bloomed into something beautiful and desirable. But looming above her, dark clouds threatened, clouds that only she could see.
She couldn’t figure that out right now. Blue was coming back in less than an hour, and she still had to check theNaked Bakeremail, review stats on last night’s show, and figure out what she was going to bake for tomorrow’s program.
She pulled up her email and readied herself for the onslaught of lewd and suggestive messages that had become the bane of her existence.
One hundred and seventy-seven new emails.
Fun.
Not.
She riffled through them, scanning for anything important. Sometimes viewers sent in baking ideas, and she was thankful for the ones that weren’t looking for naughty-shaped cakes or cookies, although thosewereinteresting to bake. It had taken her a while to get past her own hang-ups on inappropriately shaped food, but once she got into herNaked Bakermind-set, just about anything went. The sexier the shows, the longer viewers watched, and the longer they watched, the more money she earned.Oh, the joys of monetizing videos.Not to mention that her website was also completely monetized. There were months when she raked in more than ten grand, making up for slower months, when she made just a few thousand dollars. Of course, being the good girl Lizzie was, she reported the income to the IRS and paid her taxes diligently. She wasn’t about to be caught with her pants down, so to speak.
With offers ranging from the greatest sex she could imagine to a guy who was willing to lick whipped cream from between her toes—ew—she made it through with one golden nugget.MrWhipIt@whipmegood.comrequested a cake in the shape of handcuffs. That, she could do!
She checked her website stats next. Views were up, as was length of viewing time. She must have done something right in the last show. She noted the stats in the ledger where she kept track of these types of things. She’d watch that video again tomorrow and compare it to the others that did well and the ones that didn’t, noting the differences. Lizzie was always trying to figure out what the viewers liked best. It seemed to be a moving target.
That thought brought images to her mind of potbellied guys pleasuring themselves while watching her videos, which shetriednot to think about, but sometimes it was impossible to push those images away.
Her phone rang, startling her.Mom.She closed the laptop and headed upstairs as she answered her mother’s call. She wasn’t even comfortable talking to her mother in the same room where she made the videos.
