Page 46 of Seized by Love at Seaside
Sky folded her into her arms. “Oh, no. Lizzie, no wonder you look like hell. What happened?”
“It’s my fault.” Tears sprang from her eyes as she pulled out of Sky’s arms. “I didn’t tell him about something I should have.”
Sky reached for Lizzie’s hand. “Tell me what happened. I’m sure whatever it is, you guys will get through this.”
Lizzie shook her head. “I’m not so sure. And I’m not sure you’ll forgive me either.”
“Forgive you?” She let out a little laugh. “What do you mean? You didn’t cheat on Blue, did you? Because you’re right; I might not forgive you for that. He’s my friend, too.”
She shook her head again. “I haven’t been with anyone else.” This was much harder than she’d thought it would be. Her chest tightened up as she tried to figure out what to say.
“Then what could I evernotforgive you for?”
She opened her mouth to blurt it out, but no words came. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “Shoot. This is so hard.”
Sky gathered her in close again. “Lizzie, you can tell me anything.”
“No. No, I can’t. People say that, but they don’t really mean it. It’s like when someone says they’ll love you forever, and you think they really will. Only you don’t think through all the conditions that go along with that love.”
“Okay, slow down.” Sky held her by the shoulders again. “Slow down and clue me in, because you’re not making sense and you’re scaring me a little.”
Lizzie inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. “Remember when you asked about how I started my business, and I said I took out loans?”
“Sure.”
“I didn’t exactly take out loans.” She nibbled on her lower lip, folding and unfolding her hands. “I had enough money to open it outright.”
“Okay.”
She averted her eyes, looking at the ground, at her hands, anywhere but at Sky. “I do a webcast that I’ve monetized, and that’s how I paid for my shop and my school loans. And Maddy’s tuition and books.”
“A webcast? Well, that’s good, right? I mean if you’re earning enough to do all those things, why didn’t you just tell me? Were you worried I’d be jealous?”
She lifted her eyes to Sky’s. “No. I knew you’d never be jealous, but I’ve been ashamed by the type of show it is.”
“Are we talkingporn?” Sky’s eyes widened with the possibility.
Lizzie shook her head. “No. I’ve got clothes on. Just not many.” She opened her laptop and laid it on Sky’s lap. She’d already queued up one of theNaked Bakervideos.
“TheNaked Baker?” Sky’s jaw gaped. “Holy cow, Lizzie.”
Lizzie buried her face in her hands. “I’m not naked. Just watch five minutes of it—you’ll get the idea.” She turned away as Sky clicked play. When her voice sounded, it felt foreign to her. She could clearly hear the difference between the put-on sensuality on the video and the real emotions that accompanied the things she’d said to Blue when they were intimate—the things that came straight from her heart.
A minute later Sky closed the laptop. “I can’t watch any more,” she said softly.
Lizzie waited for Sky to give her a hard time, and when she said nothing, and gently placed a hand on Lizzie’s shoulder, it pulled more tears from her eyes.
“Did Blue see these?”
Lizzie nodded without turning to face her.
Sky wrapped her arms around her from behind and rested her cheek against her back. “It’s gonna be okay.”
It was all Lizzie could do to shake her head as more tears fell.
“It really will be okay,” Sky reassured her.
Lizzie turned in to Sky’s embrace, and she cried on her friend’s shoulder. She was at no loss for reasons for her tears. She cried for keeping the truth hidden from everyone she loved, she cried for the demeaning things she’d done to earn money, and she cried for the man she’d never meant to hurt. And then, when she thought she’d cried all the tears she could possibly shed, she leaned back and looked into Sky’s eyes and she cried for the friendship she truly, desperately needed and the woman she hadn’t been fair to.
