Page 49 of Seized by Love at Seaside
“I want you, Blue.” She answered so fast it took him a second to realize he hadn’t dreamed it.
He scooped her into his arms again, devouring her mouth as he carried her into the bedroom, telling himself he could do this. He could love her and make love to her and still give them both space to figure everything out.
INSIDE LIZZIE’S HEAD a war was taking place, a battle between her undeniable love for Blue and her unwillingness to give up her convictions. She knew she shouldn’t have made love to him, knew it wouldn’t solve anything, but she’d needed to be in his arms again. And now, as a sated smile graced his beautiful mouth, she didn’t regret their lovemaking one bit.
“Lizzie,” he whispered. “I can’t stay away from you.”
Her entire body relaxed. She hadn’t lost him forever.Thank heavens.Did he know that everything he did and said had the power to slay or elate her? Did he realize that as badly as what he had said to her hurt it had also opened her eyes? Did he know she loved him more than she thought possible? That she couldn’t stay away from him, either? She should tell him all those things, but she didn’t want to talk, couldn’t afford to have another blowup about what she was doing with her life. She wanted—needed—to revel in their closeness for a while longer.
“Can we pretend, for just five minutes, that this is our life? That this is where we are?” she pleaded.
His eyes closed, and she thought he was going to plunk her down on her feet and tell her she needed to grow up, but he tightened his arms around her, silently holding her and not asking for a darn thing.
“Let me draw you a bath,” he said sweetly.
A nagging reminder sounded off in the recesses of her mind. She needed to film her show tonight.
That could wait.
A bath sounded lovely.
Being with Blue was lovely.
I just want to pretend we’re okay for a little while longer.
Blue led her into the bathroom, where he lit the candles that she kept on the windowsill and filled the bath with heavenly smelling bubbles. He touched her shoulder as he moved from one task to the next, smiling lovingly, as he helped her into the tub.
“Be careful. Your knee might sting.”
He was still so caring, despite how hurt and upset he was, and that touched her deeply. She knew Sky was right, that despite her convictions, the webcast was a lot for a guy to accept. She held on to his hand and sank beneath the bubbles. When he stepped away, she tightened her grip. “Please stay?”
He sat on the edge of the tub and reached for a washcloth.
“With me.” She shifted her eyes to the tub. “Please?” She scooted forward, and he stepped in behind her, placing a leg on either side of her as she settled her back against his chest.
She’d never felt anything as luxurious as being loved by Blue.
“Lizzie,” he whispered against her ear, and then, as if he was at a loss for words, he kissed her shoulder.
Her heart tugged at the emotions winding around them.
He soaped the washcloth and gently bathed her arms. With one arm around her waist, he washed her shoulders, her breastbone, tending to her carefully, whispering about how much he loved her and how sorry he was. He trailed kisses along her shoulder, and when he stopped washing her and wrapped both arms around her waist, resting his head against her cheek, she heard him breathing deeply, as if he were so thankful for this time together.
She had the feeling neither of them knew where to go from here, and she didn’t want to break the spell of this closeness. She needed this, neededhim. Gosh, how long had she needed him? A year was a long time to fight her feelings, and she knew, as he turned her in his arms and gathered her in close, her knees pressed to her chest as he wrapped his arms around her, that she’d been doing just that. She had no fight left in her. It was exhausting to defend herself and exhausting trying not to feel and not to love. Almost as exhausting as living a lie.
“I’m so sorry, Lizzie. I know we don’t want to talk about it, but I hate what I said to you. I can’t claim that I’ve come to grips with what you do, but I will never again say anything hurtful. I want so badly to be part of your life. I just need to figure out how to get past all of this.”
She wanted to beg him to try, but she’d done enough of that already. He was being as honest as a person could be. Hadn’t he always been honest with her even before they’d started dating? Blue hid nothing from her. He gave, and gave, and gave some more.
“It’s okay,” she finally managed, feeling anything but okay. She didn’t know how to do this either. She’d never felt so much for anyone, and if there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she didn’t want those feelings to go away.
He kissed her temple and tightened his hold. “No, it’s not okay. My heart aches because of what I’ve said and how I’ve acted. I want to be a man who can step back and let everything roll off my back, but that’s just not who I am. But I’m willing to try. Iwantto try. I love you so much. For you I’d do anything.”
“I don’t want you to be that man, Blue. I want you to be who you are, not someone who ignores his true feelings.” She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. “We’re at a crossroads, and I’m not sure which way to go.”
He held her until the water chilled and the bubbles dissipated; then he wrapped her in a towel and carefully dried her off before tending to himself. They dressed in silence, and then Blue reached for her again like it was the most natural thing in the world, despite the sadness that welled in his eyes. Lizzie didn’t want him to leave, and she knew what she was about to ask might be met with anger, but she had to try. He was obviously trying. He was trying so darn hard.
Within the safety of his arms, she said, “I have to tape my show tonight.”
