Page 47 of Embraced at Seaside
“Thanks, Brock. I’m okay. I just don’t want the added pressure of an exhibition match. Thank you for understanding, though.”
“I have to admit, I was surprised to hear from Hunter the other morning.”
She’d wondered when Brock was going to get around to mentioning the call, and in the days since, she’d tried to figure out how to handle it when he finally got around to it.
“Sorry about missing that practice and not calling you myself. The night before had been a particularly rough night.” She sat down on the bench and leaned her back against the wall.
“Yeah, Harper told me.” His stare was steady, and she wondered just how much Harper had shared. “Sorry about the Seaside space. But I’m sure you’ll find someplace else.”
“Do you think it’s a mistake?”
“Opening a dance studio? Of course not. You’re so talented, Jana, and you love teaching. Why work for a guy who doesn’t appreciate it and takes advantage of you?”
She nodded, thinking about Hunter, who appreciated everything about her and pushed her to do the same. “Hunter offered me his place out on Route 6.”
“Seriously?” Brock’s eyes narrowed, as if he were questioning why Hunter would do that, and just as quickly the look faded and he smiled. “That’s prime space. Can you afford the rent?”
“Gosh, we haven’t even talked about the rent. I don’t know how I feel about renting from Hunter.”
“Why?” He cocked his head in that older brother sort of way that said,Do I need to hurt somebody?
She shrugged, trying to act casual. “He’s a friend. What if something goes wrong? It could kill our friendship.”
“Listen, I might have warned you about dating Hunter because I think he plays around a lot, but he’s a good man. Even if you burned the place down, he’d know it was an accident.”
Hearing Brock talk about Hunter playing around and knowing that the only playing around he’d done in the last six months was with her made her want to defend him. She contemplated telling Brock that they were seeing each other, but she wasn’t ready to take that step yet. She gazed up at him waiting patiently for her to respond, like he had all the time in the world, when she knew that he, like her, had a million things he had to take care of.
“Can I ask you something?” she finally asked.
“Anything, sis.”
“Why do you think none of us have settled down with anyone? I mean, you’re twenty-nine, superhot, nice as can be, and you don’t have a steady girlfriend. Harper is, like,madeto be married or something, and Colton’s successful and truly the nicest guy around.” She smiled at Brock. “No offense, but you’re big and scary-looking when you’re mad, and Colton doesn’t have that same edge. Did Mom and Dad mess us all up somehow?”
Brock laughed. “Mom and Dad didn’t mess us up. We had great role models. They love each other; they just have old-fashioned values. Don’t you think?”
“Yeah, that’s the thing that worries me. I was kind of hoping you’d say that they did something that I don’t remember, because if that were true, it wouldn’t come down to me being too messed up to commit to a relationship.” She wasn’t about to tell her brother that she had no idea why she was willing to give so much to a man who was obviously willing to give even more, but she was still having trouble fully committing. Hunter had called her hisgirlfriendthat morning instead of hisgirl, and it had sent a wave of panic through her again.
Brock shrugged. “We all have our reasons. I’m busy with the club and I’m very picky. Harper’s been working on her writing career, and Colton? Well, from what Colton says, it’s different for gay guys. They’re less into monogamy than chicks are.”
“Maybe I’m really a gay man,” Jana teased.
He searched her eyes. “Huh?”
“It scares me, committing to a relationship. I just know I’ll mess it up.”
Brock sat beside her and leaned his elbows on his knees, wringing his hands together. “The guys you dated when you were younger really did a job on you. And I think that mess with Spencer broke something in you, Jana. It’s always worried me.”
“That’s just it, Brock. I don’t think it was them, or specifically Spencer. This is all on me. I’m the one who messed up my relationships.”
“That’s not true. All guys aren’t all clingy like Spencer.” His tone turned serious. “If you’d just give yourself a chance—”
“Thanks, but this isn’t about Spencer. He’s just the last guy I committed to. This is about me. You guys all have good reasons for not wanting to commit, and I don’t have anything more solid than knowing I’m not good at relationships.” She’d committed tonotcommitting. It made no sense, and it worried her that she’d throw that away on a guy with a reputation that even her brother couldn’t deny. But her heart told her otherwise.
“Jana, you’re spinning all this in your head. You think we didn’t get Mom and Dad’s old-fashioned values, but I don’t believe that. I think we’re all good people. We care about others. We work hard. We’re just on different timetables with our love lives. But that’s okay. That doesn’t mean we don’t have solid values. It just means we’re human.”
She rose to her feet and took another drink from her water bottle. “I better take off. I’m teaching a class at ten, and I want to get in touch with Sky. Hunter’s letting me do a test class at his place to see how I like it. I want to invite Sky and the girls for a Foxy Mamas class.”
“Okay. But listen, if you want to talk more, text me. We can meet for a drink or something.” He stood and pulled her into a hug. “There’s nothing you can’t be good at Jana, including relationships. If you want to be good at relationships, you will be.”
