Page 51 of Embraced at Seaside
“I’m trying to give you time, but it’s not easy, Jana. You’re asking me to hold in all these emotions I’ve never felt for anyone else. It’s pure torture.” His tone made light of the ache he really felt. In an effort to distract himself before that ache could turn to frustration, he asked, “How did the space work out for the class?”
“It was pretty incredible, actually. How did you get it cleaned so fast?”
“With a little help from my friends.” He hadn’t been able to hire anyone to clean the space on such short notice, so he, Grayson, and Clark had done it. And the little white lie about where he was yesterday morning was worth hearing that the space waspretty incredible.
Her eyes widened, now fully awake. “Youcleaned it? Hunter, you didn’t have to do that. I could have cleaned it myself.”
“Don’t be silly. Let my girl work her pretty little fingers to the bone?” He kissed her fingertips. “The space is perfect for your studio, right?” He shifted his eyes upward. “I can see it now, a big sign that says ‘Jana’s Dance Studio.’”
Her smile reached her eyes and just as quickly fell flat. “Oh! I forgot to tell you. I spoke to Marco yesterday. He’s engaged.Engaged.” The word was laden with disdain. “He’s never coming back. He’s marrying his head instructor. Head instructor. I’m only aninstructor. How did she become a head instructor?”
They talked for a long while about Marco and what she had planned for the day, and it wasn’t until much later, after they had thoroughly ravaged each other, showered and dressed for work, and finally kissed goodbye, that Hunter realized she’d never answered him about accepting the space.
Chapter Twenty-Three
JANA’S LIFE CONTINUED to feel like it was on fast-forward, despite backing out of the exhibition match. Hunter was putting in extra hours on his sculpture, and Colton had asked Jana to fill in for the past three nights, which was great for her bank account, but it meant that she and Hunter were rarely together before midnight, and they usually ended up tangled in the sheets, with very little time to talk. She knew he was stressed about getting his sculpture done, and she made a point of trying to keep their conversations light when they did find time to talk.
Jana was meeting the girls for breakfast at Seaside, and Hunter was going into the shop early.
“Have fun telling the girls about us.” He said it with a smirk. All week he’d been dropping not-so-subtle hints that he was tiring of waiting for her to publicly claim their relationship.
She smiled up at him. “It’s not like I’m going toannouncethat we’re seeing each other.”
As he walked her out to her car, his tone became serious. “But you’re going to let them know, right?”
She shrugged. “It’s not like I’d lie about it. I just don’t think I need to make a statement about it.”
“Jana, you know that when we do go out with everyone—and eventually we will—I’m going to have an arm around you, or hold your hand, or kiss you, regardless of whether you let them know first or not.”
“Why does it have to be such a big deal?”
“It’s not like I want you to announce it, but come on. You could have told them when they saw the flowers, and you didn’t. You could have told my sister any number of times, since she texts you a million times each week.”
She was silent for so long, Hunter’s gut clenched.
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not good at this, Hunter. I told you I stink as a girlfriend and I wasn’t kidding.” Hunter accepted her past, moving from one guy to the next with no strings attached, but he didn’t know how badly she’d been hurt in the past or how badly she’d hurt Spencer.
“I don’t understand what that means.”
They’d never talked about specifics, and now she felt compelled to tell him—and the confession brought a thrum of panic. She knew the importance of this conversation, of his finally understanding where she was coming from, and she wanted to give him that. Desperately. She drew her shoulders back, swallowing the fear that accompanied the dull ache in her gut, and forced herself to explain.
“What if…? I don’t know. What if I flirt and don’t realize I’m doing it?”
He gritted his teeth. “Seriously? I’d better be the only man you flirt with.”
“That’s what I mean. Do you know why I never date, Hunter?” She couldn’t slow down, and the truth roared out. “Because men suck. They make promises they can’t keep, and they manipulate you until you open your heart up and lay it out on the table. Because all they care about is winning—and then they leave, they hurt, they take that trust and shred it to pieces.” His eyes filled with empathy as he reached for her, but she shifted out of his grip, unable to stop the rest from being set free.
“And it’s not just that. A string of guys hurt me, yes, and that was bad, but honestly…I get so caught up in having fun that I must not see clearly. Every guy I’ve ever dated has accused me of flirting with other men, and maybe they were right. I don’t know anymore. Every boy I ever dated thought I wanted to cheat even if I never did. I must give off really slutty vibes or something.” Her eyes filled with tears. She turned away to keep him from seeing. Her chest ached like an open wound. He’d walk away now for sure. How could he not? She couldn’t bear to look at him, to see the disdain that she imagined she’d see in his eyes. The disappointment and judgment that she surely deserved.
“Because you probably were,” he said so softly, the pit of her stomach felt like she’d swallowed lead. He put his arms around her from behind and held her. She braced herself for a breakup.
Please make it quick, because while I could take losing anyone else, I can’t take losing you.
“Heck, Jana. I was doing that back then, too. I was doing that until I found you.” He turned her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. Salty tears slipped between their lips. “That was then, pretty girl. This is now. I have total faith in you.”
Her lower lip trembled. “You still don’t understand.”
