Page 18 of Whispers at Seaside
They both burst out laughing.
“Tingly feelings? Really? Is that how your mom explained it?”
“Are you kidding? Mother Teresa? She pretended sex didn’t exist. Everything I learned came from hands-on experience. You know that. I shared them all with you.”
“Another thing I tried to forget,” she teased. “Seriously, though. I don’t need condoms. You know I’ve been on the pill since Hagen was born. I wasn’t about to leavethatup to chance again.”
“Diseases, baby. Use the condoms.”
“Right. Between making a robot and serving lunch, me and Matt will find time todo it.” The prospect of sex with Matt seemed impossible. She pushed the Nair under the pillow with the condoms. She didn’t want to think about being bare as a baby any more than she wanted to think about having condoms. She hated the idea of planning sex.
“Mom?” Hagen called from the hallway.
Mira scrambled to cover up the loot Serena brought, and Serena laughed. “There’s nothing sexual in there. I left the toys at home.”
Hagen appeared in the doorway with his book and an ample amount of syrup on his shirt. “Can you tell me what a ‘com-plant’ robot is?” He handed her the book and peered between them at the bulky covers. “What’s that?”
“Girl stuff,” Serena said, as if that would satisfy Mr. Inquisitive.
“What kind of girl stuff? Mom has a bathroom full of girl stuff. Makeup, lotion, deodorant with flowers on it that smells like lemons.”
Mira laughed. “Just clothes and makeup, honey. Nothing important. And this word is ‘compliant.’ A compliant robot would be a robot that behaves and follows instructions, but I think they’re referring to a much different type of robot than the one you and Matt are going to build.”
“That’s okay. One day I’ll build a compliant robot.” Peering around her again, he reached toward the crooked pillow. “What’s under thi—”
Serena dove on the pillow. “That’s my secret girl stuff that isn’t for little boys to see.”
Mira covered her face with her hands, knowing what was coming next.
“Mom said we can’t keep secrets. She says secrets are like lies, and lies turn good people into bad people. Mom says…”
Ten very long minutes was how long it took to sidetrack her curious boy. It took only half that time for Mira to decide that mothers were hypocrites. A hard pill to swallow.
Hagen went into the other room to play, and Mira flopped onto her back beside Serena, who was still lying across the pillow. “How am I going to manage this?”
“Hello? I babysit.”
She turned toward her friend. “No, I meanthis.Everything.Hagen’s going to ask questions I’m not prepared to answer. And I can’t have condoms in the house. What if he finds them? How do other single mothers do this?” She bolted upright. “I’m doomed to either a sexless life or lying to my son about where I am or what I’m doing, aren’t I?”
“It’s not like you’re a serial killer. All moms have sex, and not telling your son about your sex life isn’t lying. Ew. No child wants to know about that. You’re a beautiful, sexy woman. You can’t deny yourself this.”
“Trust me, denying myself the man I’ve fantasized about for so long isn’t something I want to do. I just don’t know how to navigate dating and being a mother and working. There’s no time as it is.”
“You’ll find the time. You did last night.”
Mira gave her a deadpan look. “What about the rest of it? I haven’t,you know, since I got pregnant with Hagen.”
“I know. I’ve been trying to get you to get your sexy on for a long time. Sex is like eating cake,” she said reassuringly. “You stress over wanting it, but when you’re devouring it, nothing is more decadent. Afterward there might be a little guilt, or maybe you’ll be angry at yourself for giving in to the lifeguard in the changing room at the beach…”
“Serena!” Mira laughed.
“Oh yeah, that was me. It could happen to you, too, you know. Anyway, you might feel all sorts of things, but with therightman, the biggest thing you’ll feel is wanting to do it again.”
Serena pushed from the bed and grabbed the box of condoms, and from beneath the covers, a tube of lube that Mira hadn’t seen. Mira’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head.
“Lube?” she whispered. “I’m not menopausal, you know.”
“Back door,” Serena said casually.
