Page 43 of Whispers at Seaside
“Thank you. My biggest fear is that I’ll somehow mess him up. The prospect of letting a man into my life is still scary, because in the end, my decisions affect Hagen’s life. You mentioned daddy issues, and I’m not sure he won’t have them, once he learns the truth.”
MATT HAD BEEN thinking about that himself, and about Hagen’s comment about being a nerd. That issue was far from closed in his mind. But Mira was telling him she needed to keep some boundaries and he knew he had to be careful how strongly he voiced his concerns.
He washed her tenderly, placing kisses along her wet skin.
“I don’t think all children who grow up with only one parent have issues. Hagen has a strong support system in place.”
“That’s true, and I hope it’s enough. I lost my dad when I was twelve, as you know, and that was hard. But I think it’s different, because I know how much he loved me before he died.”
“Yes, it’s different, but every situation is different. I wasn’t ready to lose my mother as an adult. But losing a parent and being treated as if you don’t exist to that parent are totally different. Maybe, when the time comes, when Hagen is older and inevitably learns the truth, you can get him into counseling, so he has a safe place to deal with it.”
“That’s already on my list. I’ll protect him from the truth as long as I can, but there’ll come a time when he’s filling out medical papers or just curious, when he’ll need to be told. I don’t look forward to it.”
Matt wrapped his arms around her and held her, wanting to promise he’d help her when the time came, but he sensed that wasn’t what she needed to hear, so instead he said, “He’s lucky to have you.”
When the water cooled, he dried her with a thick towel, blew out the candles, and led her into the bedroom. He knew she wasn’t used to all the physical activity they’d done today, and he’d planned a nice relaxing evening of pampering his lovely girlfriend.
She climbed onto the bed, moving like a seductive kitten across the mattress. Gone was the shy girl of last night. She looked over her shoulder, her hair tumbling over one eye, and he nearly forwent the pampering he’d planned, but he didn’t want her to miss out on being cherished like she deserved to be.
“Lie down on your stomach, beautiful.”
She followed his request, looking utterly gorgeous sprawled out on the blankets, her hair streaming away from her face in soft waves. She closed her eyes and he retrieved the body lotion from the bedside table and straddled her hips. Pouring the lotion into his hands, he brought them to her shoulders and began kneading what little tension she had.
“That feelssogood.”
“Youfeel so good, baby.” He massaged her shoulders, down her arms, then worked his way back up each limb again.
“My arms feel like wet noodles.”
“Good. Relax, sunshine. You never have a chance to put yourself first, so tonight is all about you.”
“Matt?”
“Mm-hm?” He focused on the back of her neck, rubbing all the places he knew she carried tension.
“Why haven’t you been dating?”
He moved lower, carefully massaging her upper back. He smiled as he answered, because he knew how cheesy the truth sounded. “Because I met you, and you weren’t in New Jersey with me.”
She craned her neck and gave him a look of disbelief.
“It’s the truth.” Once she settled onto the pillow again, he said, “I’ve never been the type of guy who could sleep with a woman without caring about her. I know that makes me sound either like a liar or a fool, but I am who I am.” His hands glided over her sides, massaging all the way down to her hips.
“Butlookat you,” she said, eyes still closed.
He came down over her back and kissed her cheek. “Baby, look at you. There’s no difference, except you had Hagen to look after.”
She opened her eyes, and he shifted so he was lying beside her. “But you’re aguy.”
“I’m fully aware of that fact. But that doesn’t mean I’m an animal who can’t control myself. I had a healthy sex life. I wasn’t a saint, but once I met you, you were the only woman I wanted.”
She smiled and touched his cheek. “But you couldn’t have known we’d end up like this.”
He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “I didn’t, but my heart wanted you. I was busy with research projects and students and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. When they offered me the book deal, I took it as a sign. And here we are.”
“All that time?” she asked with wide eyes.
“It’s amazing what the mind and body are capable of.” He kissed her again and resumed massaging her back. She snuggled into the blankets with a sweet smile on her lips.
