Page 55 of Whispers at Seaside
“Oh, I wasn’t taking all that into consideration. It does sound complicated. No wonder you guys decided not to talk about it right now. Why get all stressed over something that’s still several weeks away? And I hear you on the jealousy thing. My little muffin does that, and she’s not even old enough to have big issues. But I know when she’s a teenager she’ll come to me, not Daddy, who will probably fit her for a chastity belt before then.”
They laughed, but now Mira was thinking about Matt going back to Princeton. She reminded herself not to borrow trouble and once again pushed those uncomfortable thoughts aside. Then shoved them harder, making room for happier thoughts.
“I think being protective is a Lacroux trait. Matt’s super protective of me and Hagen.” Mira realized Matt had been that way since they’d first met. Even when they took Hagen to the park before they were dating, he kept an eagle eye on him. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad he is. It’s nice knowing he’s watching out for us. And even though I’m a tiny bit jealous, I’m glad Hagen’s opening up to him. Hagen had us both worried for a while when he asked if we thought he was a nerd.”
“Oh no. Was he getting teased again?” Jenna asked.
“We thought so, but when Matt chaperoned Hagen’s field trip last week, a little girl asked if she could sit next to Hagen, and Matt said she looked right into Hagen’s eyes and said, ‘I like nerdy boys best.’” Mira had been so relieved when Matt had texted and let her know, she’d actually teared up. “And when Matt asked Hagen if that was why he’d asked if he was a nerd, he said yes, because hewantedto be one.”
“That’s the cutest thing ever!” Jenna said.
“I know, but it’s too soon,” Mira said. “I’m nowhere near ready for that. Even the thought of giving up my time with my little boy for a girl who will inevitably break his heart is hard.”
Jenna shared her first-love heartbreak story, and as Mira listened, watching Matt work side by side with Hagen, she realized she was smack-dab in the middle of her first true-love story. Second if she counted Hagen, but that was a whole different type of love.
MATT WATCHED HAGEN wind the rope and secure the bottom logs of the raft to the decking lying crosswise over top, just as he’d taught him. He’d never seen a child who paid such close attention to directions, or who had such a long attention span. It was midafternoon, and they’d been building the Huckleberry Finn–style raft for hours. Hagen had helped him choose the logs from a local lumberyard. When they’d gotten back to Pete’s, Hagen had helped measure and mark them so Pete could cut them to equal lengths. Once that was done, they laid four logs across the grass about a foot apart, and Hagen took extra time to ensure the logs were equally spaced.
Hagen was a meticulous child, something Matt could relate to. Neil, like Matt, explained the reasoning behind every step. Matt took a nice stroll down memory lane, remembering the many projects he’d worked on over the years with his father. He’d been more interested in the research and preparation than the actual building, but Hagen seemed interested in both, and his father was soaking it all in. It warmed him to see Hagen working closely with his father and Pete.
Hagen worked carefully securing the decking logs. “How’s that?” He held up the two ends of the rope. His eyes were shaded from the sun with his Princeton baseball hat.
“Perfect. I think you’re a natural raft builder.” Matt tied the ends together, while Pete cut another length of rope for Hagen.
Hagen’s eyes filled with pride. “It’s going to be the best raft ever. Just like Huck Finn’s.”
Pete handed him another piece of rope. “At this rate, maybe you will be able to build a boat after all.”
“I might want to be a boat builder for real when I grow up.” Hagen sank down on his heels beside Matt and began winding the rope around the bottom log, then crossed the two pieces and wound it around the top log. “Is a boat builder a nerd?”
Neil draped an arm over Pete’s shoulder, smiling down at Hagen. “Do me and Pete look like nerds?”
Hagen scrunched his face up, looking the two of them over.
Matt stifled a chuckle and rolled his own assessing gaze over his father and brother. They’d always been there for him, during good times and bad, and he’d missed them with a vengeance these past few years. He was getting used to feeling the emotions he’d refused to acknowledge for so long, and he found himself wanting tofeelmore of everything. He glanced toward the beach, where Mira and Jenna were playing with Bea and Joey, and his heart felt full. Nothing compared to this—being with family, being with Mira and Hagen, working alongside his brother and father.
Nothing.
Not teaching, not writing, not helping strangers.
Not a single thing.
“Yes, I think you are nerds,” Hagen determined, bringing Matt’s mind back to the conversation. “That’s good, because I want to be a nerd like Matt.”
Pete laughed, and Neil shifted a surprised glance at Matt, who was as shocked as his father. He knew Hagen wanted to be a nerd because a certain little girl with bouncy blond ponytails said she liked nerdy boys best, but to hear him say he wanted to be like Matt was overwhelming. It didn’t matter that Hagen was another man’s son and Matt had no claim over him. Every time they were together, Hagen, like his mother, stole another chunk of Matt’s heart.
“Why do you want to be a nerd like Matt?” Pete asked, smirking at Matt.
“Because my mom says smart boys are the best kind of boys, and she loves Matt. That means he’s a smart man, and I think he’s a nerd because he sometimes wears black glasses that everyone calls nerd glasses. And he likes to read, like me.”
Matt’s eyes shot to Hagen—who crouched beside the raft and began wrapping the rope around the wood again, as if he hadn’t just turned Matt’s world upside down.
“You know what that means, don’t you?” Neil patted Hagen’s shoulder, and when the little boy shook his head, he said, “It means your mommy is a very smart woman.”
“Yup. That’s why I’m so smart.” Hagen went back to working on the raft.
Matt squinted against the sun, peering intently at Mira again and feeling Pete’s and their father’s eyes on him.You love me?Surely Hagen had misinterpreted something Mira had said or done.
He’d been holding back those three words for what felt like an interminable length of time, afraid to confess his feelings while his future was still up in the air. He didn’t want to put pressure on Mira after she’d made it clear that she wanted to go slow and needed to be careful. They’d blownslowto smithereens.
