Page 61 of Whispers at Seaside
“We’reguys, Mom.” Hagen grabbed his Princeton baseball hat and carried his robot into the bedroom. “I hope it’s better than the pizza in Connecticut.Blech.”
Matt swept an arm around her waist, pulling her against him, and whispered, “After a certain little guy goes to sleep, we’ll have our own private celebration, and I think you’ll remember I’m allman.”
“I’m going to need alotof reminding.”
“I’ll remind you so long, and sothoroughly, you’ll never forget again. And then I’ll remind you again and again, for however long it takes, until every breath you take brings a memory of just how much of a man I am.”
IF MIRA THOUGHT Matt was protective of her and Hagen before, then he’d gone full-on Brink’s Security in New York City. He kept a secure hold on both of them, scanning the crowded streets as they navigated the city and made their way toward Central Park, as if at any moment a villain might swoop down and steal them. She’d come to accept that he was also watching out for the safety of others, and he always would be. That was Matt, and she loved his protective nature as much as she loved everything else about him. Over the last two weeks she’d thought about Cindy Feutra often. As much as she wished he’d track her down so he could apologize and hopefully find a modicum of peace from that horrible incident, she knew he was right about it drudging up horrible memories for Cindy. Even though she worried that not having closure would leave that layer of guilt on his shoulders forever, she fell even more deeply in love with him for putting Cindy’s well-being first. That incident was his burden to bear, but at least now he didn’t have to bear it alone.
“There it is!” Hagen dragged them toward the Maine Monument at the entrance to Central Park. “That’s a statue to remember the sailors that died when the battleshipMaineexploded in Cuba.”
Mira looked at Matt and sighed. “I owe you five dollars.”
When they’d visited the New York Public Library, which was every bit as elegant as the Boston Public Library and as interesting as the Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library in Connecticut, Matt and Hagen had taken out a book all about Central Park, and they’d read about the history of the monuments, the castle, and the carousel. Mira had bet Matt five dollars that Hagen was too excited and exhausted to remember any of it, even though Hagen’s brain was usually like a vault. Her brilliant boy had proven her wrong.
“We’ll have to figure out some other means of repayment,” he said for her ears only. “I don’t accept cash.”
MATT’S HAND SLID south and he gave Mira’s butt a squeeze. She tipped a smile up toward him, her eyes bright and eager. He couldn’t resist leaning in for a quick kiss.
The park was bustling with families, businesspeople, joggers, and young lovers walking hand in hand. So much of life had been passing Matt by while he climbed his academic ladder toward an unattainable goal. It was wonderful to finally step back down to solid ground and take it all in. He thought he’d been fulfilled as a teacher, but spending time with Mira and Hagen, and reconnecting with his family, made him realize he hadn’t been anywhere near fulfilled. He’d been intellectually stimulated, but all the other parts of himself had fallen by the wayside.
The red and white striped brick carousel building came into view, and Hagen pulled Matt toward it. “Come on! Look!”
Like Mira, Matt wanted to experience everythingwithHagen, to soak in the first moment of excitement when he saw something he’d read about, or sat on a carousel for the very first time. Sweet calliope music rang out from inside the building. He stepped up his pace, squeezing Mira’s hand a little tighter as they headed for the ticket booth.
After buying tickets, Matt draped an arm around Mira’s shoulder and they watched the carousel circle the platform. Colorful horses frozen in various states of excitement carried smiling riders around and around.
“This is beautiful,” Mira said with awe. “I’m so glad we made this trip.”
She was gazing at the carousel with a thoughtful expression, and as Matt drank in her perky nose, that sweet spray of freckles, and her deliciously kissable lips, his mind traveled to their future. He imagined coming next year, or the year after, with Hagen and his little brother or sister. He carried that thought with him throughout the afternoon, expecting it to rattle around and find an exit in his mind. But it didn’t rattle. It settled.
They rode the carousel five times, and by the time they headed for Belvedere Castle it was near closing time. Matt gave Hagen a shoulder ride, and they made it just in the nick of time to take a quick walk around the grounds of the majestic stone castle. They had dinner in Times Square, and much to Mira and Matt’s surprise, Hagen stayed awake through the entire production of theLion King. But the minute they got in the cab, he closed his eyes.
“That was the best day he’s had in his entire life,” Mira whispered. “And it’s in my top four, too.”
“Top four?”
She glanced at the cabdriver, then whispered in Matt’s ear, “The day Hagen was born, the day you and I shared our first kiss, and the first time we were intimate.”
“Man, do I ever love you.” Matt tipped up her chin and kissed her.
“We love you too, Matt,” Hagen said in a sleepy voice.
Matt’s heart swelled, and he kissed the top of Hagen’s head. Catching a glimpse of Mira’s surprised expression, he realized Hagen hadn’t heard either of them declare their love for each other yet.
“Sorry,” he whispered to her.
She wrapped her hands around his arm and leaned in to him, adoration replacing the surprise in her eyes. “Don’t ever be sorry for loving us.”
And he knew he never would.
Chapter Twenty-Five
MATT LAID HAGEN on his bed in the hotel room he and Mira shared and kissed his forehead. “I love you, buddy. Sleep well.” He slid a hand around Mira’s waist and kissed her softly. “Do you want help getting him into his pajamas?”
I love you, buddy.Could Matt possibly know how much those four words meant to her? Mira had never thought too hard about how she would feel if a man loved her son, because she never fully believedshe’dfall in love. It wasn’t part of her plan, hermommy bucket list. But Matt’s love for her and her son was so pure, so real and natural, it felt tangible, and hearing him tell Hagen he loved him was even more powerful than when he toldherhe loved her.
Tonight she was starting a new bucket list. Afamilybucket list, filled with all the things she’d like to do with Matt and the things she’d like to do with MattandHagen. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself, which she’d warned herself not to do just a few days ago, but their life was coming together, and Matt was staying at the Cape. She didn’t want to hold back any longer.
