Page 14 of Sweet Love at Bayside
Desiree held out her hands. Violet turned them palms up and began piling on crotchless underwear, toys, and whatever else was unpackaged.
“What are you doing? Violet! Stop! Vi. Please. I’ll drop them. I swear I will.”
Violet laughed. “Perfect idea.” She grabbed Desiree’s arms and pulled them out to the side so the toys tumbled to the ground.
“No!”
Cosmos barked excitedly.
“Why did you do that?” Desiree stared at the toys at her feet.
“Okay, baby sister.” She crossed her arms. “Pick them up.”
“What? No. You made the mess.”
Violet pushed a few more off the table, hoisted herself up, and sat on the now-empty spot. “I’ll sit here until you do it. Pick the darn things up. Get used to holding them until you see them as nothing but pieces of rubber and plastic if you have to. Just do it. It’s time to break you out of this Little Miss Innocent act and grow some hair on your chest.”
Desiree laughed. “That’s disgusting. Who wants hair on their chest?”
“It’s just an expression. Trust me. You’ll feel a lot better about your sexuality once you can own it.” She slid off the table and picked up a man’s G-string, then handed it to Desiree. “Hold it.”
Desiree took it and looked away.
“Seriously? What are you afraid of? Is this how you’re going to act with Rick? Look away?”
“No! But it’s not like you’ll be there egging me on just so you can tease me about it later.” The room fell silent, and Desiree instantly regretted what she’d said. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I’m trying to help, not make fun of you.” Violet started picking up the toys.
“I can do it.”
They worked together restocking the table in uncomfortable silence. A while later, after they’d cleaned up and Cosmos had curled up by the door, Desiree promised herself she’d try harder not to snap or judge.
“I’m not a prude.” She looked out the window, which was easier than looking at Violet while she bared this piece of herself. “With the right guy I’d consider these things. I think.Maybe.And I talk about sex with Emery, but it’s harder with you. I don’t really know you.” She caught her reflection in the window and, over her shoulder, a reflection of the sister she longed to know.
More nervous than she could ever remember being, she faced Violet, and had a hard time reconciling her tentative expression with the headstrong woman she knew her to be. “But I want to. I want to be comfortable with all of this, and with us. With sharing parts of ourselves that we should have learned how to share years ago. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy for me. I associate a lot of things with Lizza, like the ability to do things on a whim, and painting, and not returning messages, and it scares me. Or pisses me off. I’m never really sure which. I only know my skin crawls every time I do something she might do. I know that’s horrible and unfair, because you grew up with her and she’s your mother, too, but I can’t help it. Even the idea of not having a schedule feels like it’s likeherto me, and—”
“I get it,” Violet said. “Itotallyget it.”
“You do?” Relief swept through her, and she wanted to keep the connection going, so she admitted, “And, embarrassingly, the guys I’ve been with have been less thanthrilling. So when I hear other women talking about their escapades, I always feel a step behind. It’s not that I’m a prude, but I’m also not the kind of girl who would just whip out one of those and be like, ‘Hey, wanna play?’ I want to be that free. I know you could do it. Emery could do it. But not me. I’m just not wired that way.”
Violet smiled. “I get that, too. Certain guys make it harder to be that way. Some aren’t very adventurous, or they suck in bed, and others suck you right into their bed and you never want to leave.”
“Um…” Desiree wiggled her finger in the air. “I’ve never had that last kind of guy. Iwantto, but I can’t really wear a sign that says ‘I want a guy who’s good in bed. Only experienced men need apply.’”
They both laughed, and the tension in the room came down a notch.
“How does a persongetcomfortable with all this?”
“Alcohol,” Violet said emphatically. “Lots of it.”
“Really? I’m a total lightweight. Two glasses of wine and I’ll be doing things I shouldn’t.”
Violet headed for the door and Cosmos followed. “Three glasses it is.”
“Wait. Now?”
“No time like the present. According to Lizza’s sign, it seems like she didn’t work every day. Today will be our orientation day. I’ll grab some wine from the house, and we can close the doors so it’s just us, drink until you’re feelingreallycomfortable, and I’ll show you what this stuff is.”
