Page 57 of Sweet Love at Bayside
“I know,” she said sadly. “But we’ll figure that out.”
“I don’t know Rick, but if you gave him your heart, I know you chose carefully.”
She spotted Violet and her mother coming up the driveway. “They’re back. I have to go, but I’ll call you after Rick leaves.”
“Okay. Remember, when you tear Lizza a new one, she knew Cosmos would bring you and Rick together.” Emery burst into laughter. “The dog!”
“Emery!”
“Sorry. Go get your answers. I’ll have chocolate and tissues ready on your behalf after he leaves. Love you.”
Desiree slipped her phone in her pocket and pushed to her feet. Holding tightly to Cosmos’s leash, she steeled herself for a confrontation. Her stomach twisted as she walked down the driveway, meeting them by the cottages.
“These gardens, Desi.” Lizza waved to the beautiful flowers along the driveway. “They’re gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” came out forced. “I need to talk to you. I want to know why you’re doing this.”
“Doing what, honey?” Lizza looked at Violet, who stepped closer to Desiree.
That simple show of solidarity amped up Desiree’s anger, because her mother had hurt Violet, too.
“Allof this,” Desiree said harshly. “You lied to get us here, upended our lives so you could spend a few weeks clearing your head, and now you’re leaving again.”
“I didn’t lie to you, honey. Iwasdying inside, and your lives were upended long before you came here,” Lizza said matter-of-factly. “If anything, coming here settled you both down. And I didn’t plan to leave again. This trip just came up. Life is fluid.”
Violet opened her mouth to speak, but Desiree cut her off, and the pointed question that was eating her alive came tumbling out. “Just frigging tell me once and for all.Whydid you leave me?”
“What do you want me to say, Desi?” Lizza asked in a thoughtful voice. “That your father wasn’t what I wanted? That you weren’t what I wanted? I can’t say those things, because I adore you, sweetheart, and I adore your father.”
Tears spilled from Desiree’s eyes. Sheadoredthem? She was trembling, becoming more frustrated by the second. “Then how could you leave us and never look back?”
Violet put a hand on Desiree’s shoulder, drawing more tears.
Lizza stepped closer. “You want answers that make sense toyou, and all I can do is give you the truth and hope you understand. I’ve looked back every day of my life, and when I did, I knew you were loved and that you have always had exactly what you needed. You were whereyouneeded to be. It would have been selfish of me to drag you all over the world because that’s whatIneeded and whoIam. Your father and I knew from the time you were a little girl that you needed structure and consistency. We also knew that I couldn’t live that way. But I fell in love with your father from the moment I met him, and, baby girl, I fell in love with you from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to try. Your father was good and kind, and he reminded me of my own father. But that was also what drove me away. I felt suffocated.”
She reached for Desiree’s hand. “Don’t you see, Desi? There’s noexcusefor being who we are. We’re individuals, and we do the best we can. Staying would have made me miserable, which would have made us all miserable. I had to let you go in order for you to grow into the woman you are. Every time I came back to see you, I wanted to stay. But I knew I couldn’t. Staying would have meant leaving again a few days, weeks, or months later, when my insides clawed at me to get moving, and that would have made you even more upset. You have a full life. The only thing you missed out on was me. And trust me, Desi, I’m not that great. But I do love you.”
“But you hurt us! All of us.” Desiree didn’t care if she sounded like a petulant child, because that was the person her mother had hurt and left behind.
“I did,” her mother admitted. “But I never meant to. I thought I knew what Violet needed, too. But I was wrong, as she’s made very clear to me.” She and Violet shared a silent message that told Desiree they’d just had a similar conversation.
“Girls, I’m only human. But hopefully now I’ve done some good to heal those wounds for both of you. You have to know you girls are my heart and soul, and you’re always with me.” Lizza shifted the neckline of her dress, exposing a tattoo in the shape of a heart that was half orange and half purple.
Too overwhelmed to speak, Desiree wrung her hands together. Violet turned away, but not before Desiree saw her damp eyes.
“Violet told me you were painting again, and she was doing pottery. And you have a wonderful man in your life who needed you as much as you needed him. The house looks beautiful.” Lizza took Desiree’s hands, smiling warmly. “Things aregood, Desi. Violet said you’re keeping the shop open. Will you keep painting?”
She nodded absently, still putting the pieces of herself back together.
“Then I named it perfectly,” their mother said.
“Devi’s? The supreme goddess?” Desiree asked. “Do you think of yourself that way?”
Lizza laughed. “Please.You know how I dislike titles. I named the shop after my girls.Devi, as in, Desiree and Violet.”
LATER THAT EVENING, Rick came out of the rec center with a cold beer, his eyes instantly finding Desiree crouched by the fire pit, helping Hagen put his marshmallow onto a graham cracker. It was a chilly night, and she’d changed into a pair of jeans shorts with a white lace tank top beneath a loose gray sweater. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her sweater slipped off one shoulder, and she glanced over with a seductive look in her eyes as she pulled it up. It slid right back down, and she trapped her lower lip in her teeth, knowingexactlywhat she was doing to him. He was glad his family and friends wanted to throw him a going-away party, but it was torture to give Desiree a chance to mingle when all he wanted was to be alone with her.
Serena, Drake, Violet, and Mira were talking a few feet away. Serena said something that caught Desiree’s attention, and then she went right back to helping Hagen put the top graham cracker on his s’more. He was sure he should be thinking about Desiree and babies or other things that would signify how much he wanted a future with her, which he did. And maybe he’d go straight to hell, but all he could think about was getting that sticky marshmallow and chocolate all over her so he could lick it off.
