Page 26 of Sweet Passions at Bayside
“How could I not tell you, when the woman I’ve been falling for every day for months is finally within reach? Do you really want me to pretend I feel nothing? To watch you go out with guys who aren’t worthy of you? I tried, Emery, because I know how you feel about going out with friends or with your boss, but I can’t do it. I’m not going to be one of the guys who lies to you.”
“But…” she said weakly. “I love our friendship, and I don’t want to lose it.”
His arm circled her waist, and he drew her against his hard frame. “Neither do I.”
For a brief moment, she allowed herself to enjoy the feel of him embracing her, the way he calmed the mounting panic that had threatened to consume her. She wanted to stay right there in the circle of his arms and forget that anything had the power to break them—least of allher. But she knew better.
“I’ve been down this road before,” she finally managed, “and it never ends well. Within a few dates, all those things you like about me will become the very things that’ll drive you away.”
“You’re wrong, doll.”
“Oh,right,” she said as an incredulous laugh fell from her lips. “Like you’re going to be okay with me flirting with other guys?”
His brows knitted. “You wouldn’t do that if you were with me.”
She pushed from his arms and paced, feeling like her insides were being ripped to shreds as she prepared to lay her true self out in the most vulnerable way she ever had. She inhaled deeply and gazed directly into his hopeful eyes. “Not on purpose, I wouldn’t,” she admitted. “But don’t you see? I don’t realize I’m doing it half the time. It’s who I am. Look at how you reacted when I changed into my shirt in front of you last night. I trust you as a friend, so for you to see my bare back was no big deal to me. Nothing about that was meant to feel sexual or flirtatious, but you probably thought it was.”
“You may not have meant it to entice me, but you can’t tell me that you felt nothing when you had your top off in front of me,” he challenged, closing the distance between them again, sparks igniting all around them. “That you feel nothing now.”
She froze. “What I feel isn’t the point. The point is, when I took my dress off, I wasn’t thinking about reeling you in or turning you on. I wasn’t thinking past the conversation we were having. I don’t know if that’s because I’m so used to being around guys from growing up in a house full of them or what, but it is what it is. And it’s the onlymeI know how to be.”
His eyes narrowed and he quickly schooled his expression, but not before she saw his frustration.
“See?” She crossed her arms, needing the barrier between them. “You know it’s true. I could do that around other guy friends without even thinking about it, and you would want to rip their heads off for seeing me—and rip mine off for doing it. And I wouldn’t blame you.”
Her confession drained her. If ever she thought there was a man she could love, it was Dean. But being loved for her true self? Forever? That was a pipe dream at best.
DEAN CLENCHED HIS teeth together so hard he was sure he’d crack a molar. There was no way he was okay with being just friends with the woman who had captured his heart one phone call at a time for months on end. But he swallowed those words and reached for her.
“Come here, doll.” Holding her close, he tried to get a handle on his emotions.
She rested her cheek on his chest, and he guided her arms around his waist.
“You’re one of my best friends. I can’t explore my feelings for you because I can’t imagine my life without you in it,” she said, holding him tighter. “I’m too broken to be fixed, and that’s okay as long as I don’t losethis.”
Dean’s heart ached. She was the same woman who’d cursed a blue streak when she’d told him what happened with her ex-boss at the yoga back-care practice and had sworn she’d never work for someone else again. The woman who’d cried when she’d first seen him bottle-feed the wounded kittens and when her favorite character died onGame of Thrones, swearing she’d never watch another episode—until he said he’d watch it with her via Skype so she wouldn’t be alone. She could be strong and stubborn, but he knew about her softer side. The side that needed to be held and nurtured, loved and supported inallher endeavors. The part of her that needed to be pushed and challenged so she didn’t sell herself short.
He’d seen, and adored, the side of her that needed protecting…from herself. A pang of hurt speared through him with the harsh thought, but it was true. She didn’t believe she knew how to have a relationship, but even without being in the same state, they’d shared their highest highs and lowest lows. And he was the best man—theonlyman—to prove that to her.
But if there was one thing he was sure of about his sassy, stubborn doll, she was tooscaredto give in, despite that he was one hundred percent certain they belonged together. She was in Wellfleet starting a new life because he’d pushed her buttons enough to make her open her eyes and finally take charge of her happiness, and he intended to do it again and again until she realized friendship was good—but true love could, and would, be even better.
He cradled her face in his hands and gazed into her beautiful eyes. There was no denying the emotions he saw there—or the fear simmering on the surface. He had a feeling that winning Emery’s heart was going to be like scaling a dune barefoot in the scalding heat, but he knew it would be worth every painful second.
“The last thing I want is to lose our friendship,” he assured her. “I know you’ve been hurt by guys in the past, but I’m not them. I’ll never hurt you.” She opened her mouth to speak, and he placed his finger over her lips, wishing he could silence her with a kiss. But that was part of the problem. Emery was used to burning hot and hectic with the guys she dated, and although that was a hard pill for him to swallow, he wasn’t surprised that she had completely shut him down. Because if she didn’t, if she allowed herself to explore what was so obviously there, she’d wake up tomorrow expecting their friendship to disintegrate.
He was determined to show her they were different—better—in every way.
“Being friends is not enough for me,” he said honestly, and felt her body go rigid against him. He continued cradling her face and holding her gaze, unwilling to let her escape before she heard him out. “I understand why you’re afraid to give us a chance, and I respect your fears, but I’m not going to sit back while you hurt yourself over and over again, picking up guys who are looking for only one thing, when you’re worth so much more. Everything you want, Emery, everything you need, is standing right in front of you.”
Her eyes took on that dreamy look women got when they saw babies and puppies, and it made his insides turn to mush.
A second later the look washed away, and she said, “Dean, I’m not going to suddenly change my mind.”
“I’m not asking you to.” He was confident that once she experienced the difference between spending time with a man who desired, respected, and cared about her, rather than one who simply wanted to get laid, he wouldn’t have toaskher to do anything.
He lowered his hands to her hips, his fingers pressing into her softness. “All I want is to show you how you deserve to be treated. Let me take you on three”—he paused before the worddatescould escape—“example outings.”Example outings? What is that?
A soft laugh fell from her lips. “Seriously? Do you think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes by calling them that?”
