Page 58 of A Love So Sweet
“So good to see you, Max. You look gorgeous, of course.”
“Thank you.”
He motioned toward a door beside the front desk. “We can talk in my office.”
Public. Stay in sight of others.“You know, I’d really like a cup of coffee. Is there a restaurant on-site?”
“Sure.”
She walked beside him down a wide hallway, stealing glances out of her peripheral vision. He didn’t seem nervous, and he wasn’t acting sketchy. In fact, he seemed like the old Ryan, the guy he’d been before he changed—comfortable, confident. He led her to a small, dimly lit restaurant, where they were seated at a table off to the side.
“I was surprised to hear from you,” Ryan said. He called over the waitress and ordered a cup of coffee for Max and a glass of water for himself.
Max watched his mannerisms and found them to be reflective of the guy she’d met when they’d first begun dating. Gone were the jumpy eyes and fast, uncontrolled movements she remembered. It was a mask; she was sure of it.A game he’s just gotten better at.
Ryan said something she didn’t quite hear. She was too busy remembering how he’d changed over the duration of their relationship. She’d spent so much time living in the shadow of the man he’d become, she’d all but buried the man he’d once been. Now, as she saw this new version of him, she remembered the better times, how quickly they’d hit it off and become more than friends. They’d had months of laughs and happy times. She remembered moving in together and how good she’d felt about it.
The waitress brought their drinks. Max noticed the man from the lobby seated at a nearby table and wondered how she’d missed him coming in.
“Max? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, realizing she’d zoned out. “What did you say?”
“I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again after—”
Max dropped her eyes, then silently scolded herself for doing it. This washerball game. Treat’s voice gave her strength once again.You took care of you, Max, and that makes you supremely strong.
She’d thought of all sorts of ways to handle Ryan, and in the end she fell back on her fail-safe. Honesty. “I surprised myself,” Max admitted, “but I wanted to…I needed closure.”
“I tried to track you down for weeks after you left, Max. Your parents wouldn’t answer my calls. You, well, you never answered anything—calls, emails.”
She wouldn’t apologize for not responding. She wouldn’t apologize foranything.
Ryan held her gaze and said, “I finally found you in Colorado.”
You tracked me down?Every muscle in her body tensed.
“You worked for a small film company, then a festival company. I’ve written you dozens of letters and emails over the years, but never had the courage to send them.”
You stalked me. What if you had shown up in Allure? What would you have done?
“In the end,” he said, “I knew it was unfair to reach out to you.”
Ryan kept eye contact with her, which she found unsettling and reassuring at the same time. People who had something to hide avoided eye contact. Why wasn’t he acting like he’d done something so wrong to her that it had ruined her ability to have a real relationship?
“I would have fled if I’d known you’d found me again,” Max said with her chin held high.
“I don’t blame you,” he said, and this time it was he who lowered his gaze.
Finally. A little remorse?
When he lifted his eyes, they were soft and apologetic. “Max, I owe you an explanation and an apology, which I know will never be enough to fix what I did.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Ryan. There is no excuse for what you put me through.”Then what do I want?Tears of anger stung her eyes, and she refused to let them fall. “You stole something from me, and I can never get it back. You stole my dignity, and you stole my trust.” Her voice rose despite her effort to remain calm, and the man who had been reading the newspaper in the lobby looked perched to come to her defense.
“I know I did,” Ryan said, “and I’ve regretted it every day since.”
Max didn’t hear him. She was too busy formulating her next accusation. “You made me fear relationships and turned me into someone who…” What was she doing? She didn’t come here to tell him what he’dachieved. She’d come here to prove to him—to herself—that she was fine even though he’d tried his best to tear her down.
