Page 32 of Our Sweet Destiny
Chapter Nineteen
THEY LAY ON the grass beside the creek, staring up at the starry sky. Jade’s head rested against his chest, her arm across his belly. He’d never wanted to spend time with a woman after having sex. His MO had been to fill his need, then escape before any talking could occur. With Jade, he never wanted to leave her side. He still couldn’t believe he’d told her he was a possessive jerk, and as he lay there next to her, warmed by her body beside him, he knew it was true. The thought of her with anyone else would be too painful, and yet he still couldn’t reconcile the thought of telling their families.
“Maybe this is all infatuation. Forbidden fruit and all that,” Jade said.
“Maybe,” he teased, though he knew it was anything but.
She poked him in the ribs. “You’re supposed to promise your undying love to me and reassure me that this is real.”
He closed his eyes, already feeling like they’d been together for years.
“What now?” she asked.
“This is pretty great,” he said with a smile.
“Yeah, it is.”
He felt her body go rigid against him, and he turned to face her. “I’m not one of those guys who knows how to say things that I know aren’t true, and I’m not a kid, Jade. I’m thirty-four. I’ve lived enough years to know real from fantasy, and to want to live within both worlds can be dangerous. For everyone.” He ran his finger along her cheek, then kissed her forehead.
“What are you saying?” she asked.
“I’m saying that what I said was true, all of it. I do want you as mine, and mine only, just as I want to be yours and yours only. I want to be part of your life.” He leaned on his elbow and rested his hand on her belly. He felt her heartbeat quicken beneath his palm.
“But?” she asked in a thin voice.
“But we have to take other people’s feelings into consideration. We owe our families that much while we figure this out. I don’t believe in leaving bodies in the wake of anything, including lo—” He swallowed the word. He couldn’t love her after only a few days of heady need, could he? “Including this.”
She was quiet, and he leaned over her, then took her chin in his hand and said, “I’m not saying that we need to not see each other. I’m saying that we need to be tactful. We can’t throw something like this in our families’ faces, or flaunt it around town. There are too many people who could get hurt, and I won’t—we can’t—be the cause of that.”
“So, you’re thinking what? That we sneak out like kids after dark?”
He smiled. She was getting riled up, and she was radiant when she was feisty. “No, I’m saying that, for a while, we’re discreet. I haven’t had a chance to woo you, and I want to. I’ve never wanted to woo anyone before. I want to take you out to dinner and talk over candlelight. I want to see movies and make out in the back row. I want to walk around the Village and window-shop. Jade, don’t you see? I want a life with you, and in order to have that life, we have to tread gently on other people’s hearts.”
“And what if we do those things and you decide you don’t like the person you meet in me?”
He lifted her chin. “It’s not gonna happen, but if it does, then better that we find out before we cause our families undue trauma, don’t you think?”
“I hate it when difficult things are the smartest things to do,” Jade said in a sullen voice. “You’re making perfect sense. I don’t want to hurt my family any more than I want to hurt yours, but I can’t quite piece together what you’re getting at,” she said.
“I guess you mean besides wanting to have night after night of passionate sex until you forget how bullheaded I am and your brain is helpless against my wily ways?”
“Yeah, what you said,” she said with a smile.
He could look at her smile all day and never tire of it. She had three smiles that he’d clearly defined so far: the flirty, come-hither smile; the feigned, I-don’t-want-to-but-I’ll-listen-anyway smile; and the adventuresome, rebellious smile that lit up her face when she was rapturous with life. He couldn’t wait to learn more about her.
“I guess what I’m thinking is that we meet outside of town for now and do all the things we want to do.”
She shot upright. “Outside of town? Like, completely hide from the world?”
“Not the world, but yes, from our families and this little town with far too many ears to the ground and too many mouths feeding the grapevine.” He knew she’d be upset, but he wasn’t ready to relent on this. He hadn’t worked his whole life to honor his family only to throw it all away when they could handle the situation tactfully without hurting anyone.
“So you just want to pretend we’re not together?” Her smile wiped clean, replaced with a firm line, just as he’d expected.
“Jade, only to the town, not to the world. I know it seems juvenile, but our families deserve this, and we deserve a chance to build something together without the world crashing down on us.”
She rose to her feet and crossed her arms. He rose beside her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close, so she was forced to look into his eyes.
“Listen to me, please. We’re not kids. It’s not like Daddy is going to say to you,You can’t date him anymore.This is a full-on family feud. This is us being caught in the crossfire of the Hatfields and the McCoys. I want a fighting chance with you. When you said you just wanted to be friends, it about killed me. I’ve taken more cold showers in a week than I ever did as a teenager. When we know how we’ll each react to situations, when we’ve built a solid base that we know can withstand the pressures of our parents, then we’ll figure out how to handle ittogether. And hopefully, we’ll move forward as a couple, stronger than we ever imagined. I want us to work. Please give us a fighting chance. Work with me, Jade. Please.”
The tension deflated from her shoulders and arms. He felt her relax into him.
“How can I say no tothat? How can a gruff cowboy know all the right things to say to soften a girl’s heart?”
“I’m not softening a girl’s heart. I’m wooing the woman I want to share my life with.”
