Page 24 of Shining Pearls
Once I checked-in with the young receptionist at the obstetrician’s office, I turned around to take a seat in the waiting area. Alex had already found a spot and was thumbing through an old People magazine, so I went to sit next to him. It wasn’t lost on me that he was leaning toward the end table beside his chair, which angled him away from the side I was on. It was a stark contrast to the first time we’d come here when I had suspected I was pregnant with Hannah.
That time, we had held hands and leaned our heads close together as we whispered excitedly about the almost-unbelievable prospect of having a child. We had felt like barely more than kids ourselves––scared out of our wits and uncertain if we were ready to be parents, but still thrilled by the idea of it.
The other couple in the waiting room was called back to the exam rooms by the nurse. The very-pregnant woman struggled to stand up, so her husband wrapped a supportive arm around her back to assist her. It was a loving, heartwarming gesture that reminded me of how thoughtful and helpful Alex always was with me. Well, at least the way he alwaysused to bewith me.
We sat alone in the waiting room without speaking. Alex pretended to look at the magazine he was holding, but he was flipping the pages too quickly to truly absorb any of it. It was obvious that he was using it as a prop to keep the awkward silence at bay.
I struggled to think of something to chat with him about. The obvious topic was this pregnancy and our hopes for this new member of our family. I knew without asking that Alex would prefer it if this baby was a boy––although he would never admit it aloud. His answer, if I were to ask him, would be that as long as it was healthy, he would be happy.
Having a girl and a boy would give us the best of both worlds, and it was the type of sibling relationship that Alex was familiar with. If this child was another girl, though, I knew Alex would never utter a word about his desire for a son.
I truly had no preference with regard to gender. A boy would be wonderful because Alex would be so happy. I knew though, from my relationship with Meg, that the bond between sisters was unbreakable. I wanted that for Hannah.
It was too early to even be thinking about gender anyway. Today’s visit would just be to confirm the pregnancy and begin planning for a healthy gestation and delivery.
Alex evidently grew weary of pretending to read the magazine, so he set it aside and pulled out his phone to scroll mindlessly. I longed to reach out to him to reestablish our meaningful connection with each other, but something held me back. Perhaps it was the fear that he no longerwantedthat easy level of intimacy with me that used to come so naturally to us. The fear that he would prefer to be with Josie constantly lingered at the back of my mind like an entire pallet of concrete bricks dangling precariously over my head.
When a woman wearing pastel medical scrubs finally opened the door to call us to the back, we both darted up as if our seats were on fire. The nurse gave us a knowing smile as she held the door for us. She probably thought we were so excited to get back there to find out the status of my potential pregnancy. She would likely never guess that our anxiousness stemmed from our mutual desire to get as far away as possible from the uncomfortable silence that had been hanging between us in that waiting room.
Although we weren’t touching, I sensed when Alex stiffened by my side. My awareness of his emotions proved that we still had some type of invisible connection––even if it did only flow one-way now.
After turning to look at him, I followed his gaze to the check-out counter. My knees nearly buckled at the sight of Josie standing there, and she looked just as horrified to see us as she stared at us with wide, frightened eyes.
I instantly recognized the tall, handsome man behind her as Dean Waters. Dean was an intelligent artistic type, who had been a few years behind Alex and me in school and had recently completed his master’s degree and started substitute teaching at the elementary school. He placed a protective arm on Josie’s shoulder when he noticed us.
It was startling to see her here. After all, there’s only one reason a woman would be visiting the only obstetrician’s office in town. Sweet, warm relief surged through my veins, though, when I saw how protective Dean was over her. Evidently, she had sought consolation from her heartbreak about the end of her fling with my husband in the arms of charming Dean.
Dean was a solid, dependable man, and he would treat her well. Plus, seeing Josie paired off with such an eligible bachelor might help Alex get over any lingering feelings he had for Josie, especially if the young couple was expecting a baby. This could turn out to be a very good thing to help all of us move on from last summer.
I was starting to feel really good about the entire scenario, until I turned back and saw my husband’s face. He had gone sheet white and looked to be on the verge of passing out as he stood and openly gawked at Josie.
None of us had made any acknowledgements. We just stood there, awkwardly gazing from one to the other––with the exception of my husband, who couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Josie.
Since we had paused in our trek to the exam room and were hovering wordlessly in the back-office entryway, the nurse cleared her throat and said, “Right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Biggs.”
Her words pulled Alex out of his stupor, so he woodenly walked toward the exam room she was ushering us into. I followed him, even though my blood was rushing so fast it sounded like drums pounding in my ears.
I stared at the mint-green walls in the exam room and silently obeyed the nurse’s instructions while she took my blood pressure, which had to be sky-high, and tapped the keys on her laptop to record my vital measurements. When she promised that the doctor would be right with us and made a quick exit, I couldn’t do anything more than nod.
Once the door clicked closed behind her, I turned to look at my husband. He was pacing the room like an agitated, caged tiger. I tried, but failed to keep my hurt feelings out of my tone when I accused, “You’re this upset that your little mistress might be pregnant?”
“Yes.” He said the word flatly as if the answer should have been obvious to me.
My head jerked back on my neck. His verbal slap had hurt me more than a physical one would have.
When he wheeled around on his heel and started taking strides in the other direction across the tiny room, he caught sight of my horrified expression, which surprised him enough that he paused his incessant pacing. Screwing his face up into a confused expression, he asked, “Aren’t you upset about it?”
“Not really.” I answered honestly before doubling down. “In fact, I think it’s great that she’s moving on, and that she’s found a wonderful, kind companion, like Dean.”
In actuality, Alex and I didn’t really know Dean all that well, but I felt like I’d heard enough about him over the years to feel confident that he would make an excellent father to Josie’s baby.
Alex’s expression softened slightly. “You didn’t see what she was clutching in her hand, did you?”
My initial reaction was to snap that, no, I hadn’t been checking her out that closely, but I contained it. Instead, I simply shook my head.
“She was holding a paper in her hand that looked very much like the first ultrasound photos we received of Hannah.”
I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but Dr. Wilkes knocked on the door before I could ask for clarification. For once, I wished that she wasn’t quite so prompt.
