Page 33 of Shaded Amethysts
Making a snap decision, I realized that I needed to call Molly as soon as Gage took me home. She and I needed to plan an epic, if non-traditional, proposal.
With that settled in my mind, I turned my full attention back to Gage and his plans. “I can almost picture this place thriving with gorgeous blossoms and happy customers.”
“Me too,” Gage agreed, sounding relieved that I was fully on board with his idea.
“It will be such a wonderful environment for our kids to grow up in and learn some business skills.” The dreamy words slipped out without my express permission.
Talking about our future children was a bit of a leap forward in our still relatively new, but loving and passionate relationship. I refused to be embarrassed, though, because there was no denying that marriage, babies, and growing old together were the direction we were headed. That’s why the wind was completely knocked out of me when the color drained from Gage’s face just before he said, “I can’t have children.”
29
Gage
To say the ride back to Avery’s parents’ house in my truck was chilly would be the understatement of the year, despite the heat blasting from my truck’s vents. My statement about not being able to have kids had the same effect as a bucket of icy water being dumped over our heads during a wicked winter blizzard.
Avery was leaning against the truck’s passenger door as if she couldn’t get far enough away from me––a stark contrast to her usual warmth and nearness to me.
When she finally broke the silence, her voice was strained with emotion. “Did you mean you can’t have children or that you won’t? Because we could explore adoption or other options.”
“I can’tbecauseI won’t,” I answered, knowing that my words would obliterate the ray of hope that had tinged her words when she offered the alternative solutions.
She huffed out an exasperated breath before asking, “Even if it’s incredibly important to me?”
I pulled to a stop in front of her parents’ home and put the truck into ‘Park’ before turning to face her. “Avery, I love you beyond reason, and I would do anything in my power to make you happy.”
When her expression brightened, I quickly continued. “Anything, but that.”
“I’ve always known that I wanted a big family. I love you so much, Gage, but I don’t see a future for us if children are not even an option.” Avery stared down at the truck’s floorboard as she spoke.
I watched a giant tear trail down her cheek. As much as I longed to reach out and comfort her, I forced myself to refrain. Instead, I said quietly, “I understand.”
Without another word, Avery slowly got out of the truck and went to her parents’ front door with her head hanging down. I hated the brokenhearted sadness evident in her posture, and I especially despised knowing that I was the one who had caused it. I loved Avery with my whole heart, but she was asking me for the one thing I couldn’t give her.
Beyond frustrated, I tried to blast away the pain in my chest by pounding on the truck’s steering wheel. When that didn’t work, I wheeled my truck back onto the road to head to my apartment, so I could suffer in solitude.
I paced my small place like a caged animal. Scamp tried to get me to play, but even his silly antics couldn’t distract me from my miserable heartache.
When the firm rap sounded at my door, I ran to answer. I didn’t bother to hide the significant relief in my tone as I flung the door open and said, “Avery!”
Disappointment made my shoulders sag when I saw a man I didn’t recognize standing on the other side of the threshold.
“No, I’m her older brother, Alex,” the stony-faced man informed me in a harsh tone.
I took an involuntary step back, unsure if he was here to punch my lights out. He was smaller than me, but I wouldn’t fight back, since I deserved whatever punishment he was about to dole out.
Avery’s brother took the newly-created opening as an invitation to storm into my apartment. Once inside, he whirled on me and half-shouted, “I don’t know you, but you’ve broken my kid-sister’s heart, so I think I deserve an explanation.”
His angry voice set Scamp’s nerves on edge. The kitten bounced on his toes before attacking one of Alex’s expensive-looking leather loafers.
The man’s demeanor immediately softened when he stooped to greet the angry little puffball. “Well, aren’t you a feisty little protector?”
His sing-songy words calmed the animal, who immediately rolled over for a belly rub. Alex complied with the silent request and the two became fast friends. The happy grin melted from Alex’s face when he stood back up and looked at me.
Unsure how I was going to talk my way out of this mess, I said, “Look, you’re right. You deserve a proper explanation and so does Avery. I love your spectacular sister more than words can say.”
“Well, what’s the problem, then?” Alex interrupted, sounding beyond exasperated.
“We have different visions of what our future can be. To put it simply, she was made to be a marvelous mother, while I’m the last man who should ever become a father.”
