Page 7 of Man of the Month Club: January
I mumble the last sentence in such a quiet tone, I’m not sure Maggie can hear it. That one statement completely sums up the start of my life, which I have been trying to make amends for ever since.
“Oh, Jett.” Maggie’s voice sounds heartbroken.
I wait for her to lash out at me for killing my mother and twin brother. Although I can’t see her face, I can imagine the disgusted expression that must be on it. She is the first person I have shared the full story with, and I suddenly wish I hadn’t. I’m going to push her away before I even get a chance to really know her.
Normally, I don’t let women get this close, even after weeks of dating, and they end up leaving me anyway. Now that Maggie knows the truth, she’ll probably sprint in the other direction to get as far away from me as possible.
I guess it’s better to let her go before I fall for her even more, but I wish there was a way for someone to see the real me and still somehow manage to stay by my side.
“You know it’s not your fault, right?” Maggie turns her head and presses her lips to the side of my neck.
Her sweet kiss and forgiving words feel so good. I close my eyes to savor the moment because I know that it will be brief.
Clenching my teeth together, I force the words from between my lips. “You don’t understand. They are both dead because of me. My dad has always hated me for taking his wife and other son from him. Growing up, he never let me forget for a moment how selfish and worthless I am.”
“That’s not fair!” Maggie half-shouts, obviously angry on my behalf.
“No, he’s right.” When Maggie takes a deep breath in preparation to dispute that, I continue, “It’s not like he abused me. He always kept a roof over my head and made sure there was food on the table, but there was never any love in our household. He blames me for their loss––as he should.”
Maggie sounds outraged when she says vehemently, “No, he shouldn’t. You were just a baby. You didn’t do anything wrong. The loss of your mom and brother is a tragedy, but you couldn’t do anything to stop it. Your father should be glad that you survived, rather than angry at you for the losses.”
I can’t believe her wonderful reaction. It’s almost too good to be true. I’ve never even dared to imagine that someone might hear the raw, ugly truth about my beginning and still manage to care about me. Phoebe and her mom have soft places in their hearts for me, but I always assumed it was because they saw how my father treated me and felt sorry for me. It never dawned on me that someone might actually be able to see the real me and not cringe away.
“Your father only sees what was taken away from him. That is his loss because he was left with a loving, smart, successful, and amazing son. He should focus on that, instead of pushing you away and trying to blame you for something that was completely out of your control.”
The anger is practically vibrating off her when she adds, “I should give that man a piece of my mind.”
A surprised chuckle bursts out of me before I say, “That won’t be necessary.”
I almost can’t believe my good fortune. I’ve shared the awful truth about me with Maggie, and she didn’t turn away. In fact, she is ready to jump to my defense. I’ve never dared to hope that anyone might have my back like that.
My instinct to pull away and not let anyone get too close doesn’t kick in with Maggie. Instead, I want to give her full access to my heart. My only fear with Maggie is that I could somehow end up hurting her. As my father loves to remind me––hurting people is what I do best. I would rather give her up than risk harming her in any way.
Just as I’m trying to figure out if I have the strength to let her go, she turns her head to the side and presses her soft lips against mine. Her sweet kiss sends all thoughts of saving her from me rushing out of my head. I don’t have the willpower to rescue her from me.
Suddenly, all that matters is making passionate love to this strong, smart, sexy as hell woman. I deepen the kiss, causing her to moan into my mouth. That uninhibited sound shreds the last thread of my self-control. I shift to roll us on our sides facing each other, intent on claiming her as mine… forever.
7
Maggie
Ican’t imagine what this impossibly sexy man would see in me. But if the big, hard cock pressing into my abdomen is any indication, at least one part of him finds me to be desirable.
At least it’s dark. Perhaps all women are alike to him in the dark.
The closed-off side of my heart wants to tell him to stop, but it feels so good to be kissed, touched, and desired by a hot-blooded, lustful man that I don’t have the willpower to utter the words. It has been so long since anyone has wanted me in this way, I can’t deny my body this opportunity. It craves his touch.
After deciding it will just be one night, so I might as well enjoy it, I lean in to whisper next to his ear, “I’ll have sex with you on one condition.”
“Anything,” he breathes out the marvelous word, making me chuckle.
“You can touch me to your heart’s content.” At my suggestive words, he lets out a deep, primal moan. I lift my index finger to add on the condition. “But you have to keep your eyes closed.”
The reflection from the nearly full moon is enough to allow me to see the objection arise in his expression. The fact that I can see his face lets me know that the moonlight would be enough for the ugly scars slashing across my skin to be visible to him. Nothing would pull him out of the mood faster than seeing the full extent of my burns.
When he shakes his head and starts to say something, I interrupt. “Those are my terms. Do we have a deal?”
I’d been expecting him to jump at the chance not to have to look at the scarred freak, but he mulls it over for a long moment before saying, “I want to see you, but I need to touch you more. We have a deal. I promise that I won’t open my eyes when we make love… this time.”
