Page 11 of Kansas Keeper
11
BECKETT
Something about the way Mara hightailed it out of the bathroom made me wonder if we had somehow scared her off. Part of me almost wishes for that. A clean break would avoid any unnecessary complications with custody down the line.
But there is no denying the sweet, warm relief that floods my system when we emerge from the bathroom to find Mara sitting on the living room sofa. Granted, she’s perched on the edge of the cushion as if she might flee at any moment, but she’s still here, and that’s all that matters in this moment.
Embry runs barefooted into the living room and launches herself into Mara’s arms. “I’m all clean and jammied.”
Mara grins at the child before saying, “Mm, you smell like strawberries.”
“That’s my Strawberry Shortcake 3-in-1. It’s shampoo, detangler, and soap all in one bottle!” Embry makes the announcement as if this product is the most novel thing to have ever been invented.
“Oh, wow,” Mara says with an appropriate level of awe. “I might need to get some of that.”
“You can try mine to make sure you like it,” Embry offers somberly.
“That’s very generous of you,” Mara says, beaming at the child as if she adores her as much as I do.
I know I need to stop staring at them, but the picture of the two of them snuggled together and chatting happily is almost too perfect.
Shaking my head to clear it, I turn toward the kitchen and say, “I’ll get plates out because I bet the pizza will be here soon.”
As if the pizza gods heard my announcement, the doorbell rings as I’m setting the table.
“I’ll get it,” Mara offers, as naturally as if she lived here.
When I tell her to grab some money out of my wallet on the counter, she waves off the offer as if it is no big deal.
The natural way this woman so seamlessly blends in to our tiny family makes me wonder what it would be like if she really did stick around for a while. The last thing I want to do is confuse Embry or add any turmoil to her life, but things seem so easy with Mara here––easy and better.
Of course, it’s not as natural as things were while Sandra was alive, but it’s the closest to normal I’ve felt since she passed away. And it’s obvious by Embry’s quick acceptance of the woman that she needs a feminine presence in her life.
My mom lives too far away to be any real help and Sandra’s mother completely shut down after her only child’s death, so it makes sense that the little girl would be craving the attention of an important woman in her life.
As much as I’d like to be all things to my little girl, I can’t begin to replace her mother. No one ever could, but Mara may just be the closest we’ll ever get to a stand-in for Sandra.
As I set forks on napkins beside each plate and Mara pays the pizza delivery driver, I wonder if it’s unfair to expect the woman to fill the void in our lives. She will never replace my wife in our hearts or souls, so it’s an uphill battle that she can’t possibly win.
Not sensing the dark turn my thoughts have taken, Mara breezes into the kitchen bringing with her the delectable scent of hot, fresh pizza. “Dinner is served. I’ve been cooking all day.”
“No, you haven’t!” Embry calls her out on the obvious lie, then cackles at the absurdity of it.
The child’s carefree laughter is the best sound in the entire world, so I decide in this moment not to worry about whether or not it’s fair to hope the woman can fill in for my late wife. She’s clearly what Embry needs right now. We’ll worry about the future tomorrow.
12
MARA
We giggle through dinner and then play a rowdy game of Candyland. When Embry beats us, then yawns, Beckett announces that it is her bed time.
I’d been expecting the child to put up a fuss, but she doesn’t. Instead, she asks if I can help tuck her in. Of course, I’m more than happy to oblige that request.
We go through the bedtime ritual of two stories followed by the blowing out of her light, then Beckett closes her bedroom door.
He holds up his hand and counts down from five to one as if he knows what is coming next. Right on cue when he gets to zero, Embry calls out, “I need a cup of water.”
“On it,” he assures her as he heads to the kitchen to fulfill her request.
