Page 39 of Claimed
She waves it away, the motion angry. Sharp. “No. Not yet. But we want kids. And I want you to be their godfather. That can’t happen if you fucking off yourself.”
“Lilah—”
“You will say yes, Caine,” she snarls at me, her blue eyes turning a soft gold. “And you will go to a damn therapist or you will talk to the fucking team. Or Markus. I don’t fucking care who. But you will not leave me.Ever.” She leans in again. “Do you hear me, Caine? Ever!” Her head shakes. “Not like that. Please.”
The please is what does it.
It tears through my heart, that one word so broken. So lost.
I could summon a portal and be at the manor in an hour. Maybe two. I could haul her against me and hold her like I need to. Like I want to.
“I love you, Caine. So much. I know you’re hurting. I know it’s hard and painful to be around Ruin and myself right now. But you will find a woman—”
“Or man,” I say.
She gives me a watery smile. “Or man that loves you like you deserve to be loved. Like I would love you if I didn’t love Ruin.”
“I could kill him and then we could try.” I’m only partly joking.
“Caine.”
My sigh is heavy as I sit on my heels. “I love you, too, Lilah. I always will. There won’t ever be anyone else.” And there can’t be. There is no other Lilah. She’s one of a kind.
She peers at me, her sweet eyes electric blue again. “But, Caine, if you won’t let yourself try to love anyone else, then how do you know?”
I look away from the phone and stare out over the dark ocean. Every crashing wave scrubs at the shoreline, wallowing it out and spreading new sand in its wake.
She’s right.
Lilah will never love me. Not like I love her.
But it doesn’t mean I have to be alone. It doesn’t mean I have to keep pretending. To keep pushing everyone away because of what I am. A circumstance I can’t change. One I never asked for.
I’ve used my heritage as a crutch for so long … An excuse.
Loving Lilah proves I’m not evil. I wasn’t born that way. I was taught that I am.
Her love is like absolution. Repentance.
It’s only one step toward being at peace with what I am, but at least I can take the first step.
That won’t happen if I end my life.
“I don’t,” I admit and inhale slowly, filling my lungs with fresh, ocean air. “Have you ever seen the ocean, Lilah?”
“Once, long ago.” She appraises me as I glance at her. “Do you want to hear about it?”
“Please.”
Her smile is sad, but she settles back and just watches me for a minute. “It was long before I met any of you. I had the weekend off from the club and I took a bus down to the Gulf …”
Shifting onto my ass in the sand, I hold the phone and let Lilah’s words do what the ocean does to the shore. It takes away the ache, the loneliness, and replaces it with something else.
Something better.
Chapter 14
Caine
