Page 112 of The Side Road
‘Remember when they went to France for the school holidays? And left the three of us at home,’ he said.
‘Yes, I remember.’
‘And you cooked enough spaghetti Bolognese for a month. You stood on a chair at the stove with a tea towel tied around your waist. God, you were tiny.’
With her coffee, Mia walked down the hallway. She opened the front door and sat on the stoop. Snood followed, tucking his head under her arm, and they gazed at the river below.
‘You wore kitchen gloves for a week. What was that all about?’
‘I was cleaning the house. Someone had to.’
‘You got that latex rash between your fingers and Richard took you to the chemist.’
‘It still flares up when I think about it. Remember, we used to pretend they were kidnapped by Power Rangers.’ She sipped her coffee.
‘Or leprechauns, and one time it was pirates. We invented elaborate stories about where they were. Had an entire vocabulary about their escapades. We were terrific liars.’
‘In the early days, we had a babysitter. The woman from the agency. Marlene? Marilyn?’
‘Maryanne. She was nice. I wonder what happened to her. I’m surprised no one suspected the truth. But we lived in a big house, and they were rich. It was the perfect disguise.’
‘I remember being alone for a night. You were away somewhere – I have no idea where Richard was – but I was petrified. I slept in the cupboard.’ Finishing her coffee, Mia put her cup to one side and patted her dog.
‘I’m so sorry. We’ve been through some stuff. Makes you wonder.’
Mia considered the town below. The streetlights had just switched off and the odd car was making its way over the bridge. ‘What does it make you wonder – specifically?’ she asked.
‘If I were to spell it out. The parental neglect I experienced has affected my adult relationships. I'm in therapy, and it turns out I have some unconventional ideas on love.’
‘What ideas?’ Mia’s heart rate was rising. ‘Specifically, what ideas?’
‘Because we had absent parents, I don’t trust that someone will be there tomorrow. Also, I associate love with neglect – not too much, just a little – that’s my default. It’s what I recognise as love. In the past, happy, healthy relationships haven’t fulfilled me. I’m drawn to people who mistreat me. I’ll give you one guess where it started.’
‘That’s a big burden to place on two parents who love you.’
‘It is. Mia, what I’m trying to say is that we grew up under the same roof.’
‘I went to boarding school.’
‘Yes. That wasn’t fun for you. But living at home wasn’t any better. I’m not saying neglect is your default, but think about it.’
She had already thought about it. For the last three years, she had thought about it. None of this was a revelation to her. Her parents didn’t understand, or if they did, they continued to ignore the damage they had caused their children. With no peace treaty forthcoming, Mia had not forgiven them and probably never would. A complicated mix of loyalty and heart-aching regret for not having a better childhood replaced the deep-seated anger she once felt toward them.
‘You’re smart. Did you know that?’ she said.
‘My high school ATAR was ninety-four.’
A pause.
‘Go on, say it,’ he said.
‘Ninety-eight point seven.’
‘And you studiedwool, for Christ’s sake.’
‘It’s Textiles. I have a Masters in Textiles. I just happen to sell wool.’
‘The Tom Roberts goes to auction at the end of the month. Thought I might make a bid – just for fun.’
