Page 124 of The Side Road
Mia smiled. ‘Who’s the attractive woman in the photo with you?’
‘That’s Bridget.’
‘Interesting. I love you.’
He didn’t hesitate. ‘I love you too. I hope your arm is okay. Let me know if you need anything.’
They ended the call.
Walking down the hallway, Mia opened the front door and stepped onto the veranda. She looked across the river and stared at the parsonage. An action she repeated five or six times a day, whenever she thought of Oliver.
Mia lacked the self-assurance and romantic confidence that Oliver possessed; she knew this. She wondered if choosing him as a partner reflected her own flaws. Was her love for Oliver an opposites attract scenario, where he showed her what she needed? And if this were true, did it mean that her redemption also lay with him? Was the burden of her future self-growth his responsibility? This seemed unfair; he was not responsible for her story. It was her life. Her life to fix. But what if she couldn’t do it by herself? What if she was meant to work it out with someone?
The Citroën was parked in Oliver’s driveway. Chances were high that he was home.
She looked at the BMW parked on the street. There was no way she could ride it with a broken arm. Besides, the weather looked frightful; it was about to rain. The sensible thing to do would be to call a taxi, but imbued with a sense of stoicism, she decided a walk would do her good.
It was a treacherous journey that took her twice as long as it should, but half an hour later, wearing knee-high gumboots and her long raincoat, she knocked on Oliver’s front door.
‘What the…’ he said, opening the door and plucking a twig from her hair. ‘Come inside and get warm.’
In the kitchen, he leaned against the wall with his armscrossed. His face was set in a passive smile. This was one of her favourite positions, but one of her least favourite expressions.
She wrung her hands. ‘I want to get married and have a family,’ she said. ‘Sometimes I pretend I don’t.’
‘Why is that?’
‘Because a small part of me is terrified it will never happen. And, if it doesn’t, that’s okay. I’m fine with it, but if I had one wish that was just for myself, that’s what it would be.’ She paused. ‘That was a difficult thing to say.’
A faint smile reached his lips. He didn’t take his eyes off her, and it was a penetrating gaze.
‘I know it’s biology,’ she continued. ‘Raging baby hormones and all that – and it’s such a cliché thing for a woman my age to want, but I can’t help it. It’s the way I feel.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I want to tell you something about my childhood. When I was young, my parents were often unavailable.’
‘Emotionally?’
‘Yes. And physically. They, well, they left us at home for long periods. Sometimes we had a nanny, but not always. One time, they went to France for three weeks. Another time, it was a month, but it was a regular thing.’
He uncrossed his arms, resting his hands on his hips. His face registered concern. ‘Shit.’
‘I know, but the interesting thing is that from a young age, I learned to cook. I also learned to overlook destructive behaviours. Love makes us accept flaws we wouldn’t otherwise tolerate – I know this – but it’s especially true for me. It’s been my default for a while. My childhood experiences skewed my understanding of relationships. I’ve been working on this.’
When he remained silent, she continued.
‘Anyway, there’s more, but I wanted to tell you that, because sometimes I’m not sure I know how to be in a relationship or what’s expected of me. Oliver, I really stuffed this up.’
‘How did you stuff this up?’
‘About six months ago, I went to this wake and met this very handsome mechanic. I fell in love and forgot to tell him. You don’t have to say anything. And I don’t expect you to feel the same. I just wanted you to know.’
When he stepped toward her, she held up her hand. ‘I can’t deal with us right now because of Leo. I’m going to the store to help process the online orders – or at least I’ll do what I can.’
‘Let me drive you.’
‘No, I want to walk.’
He followed her to the front door. ‘I’m so sorry about Leo.’
On the veranda, she turned and looked at him. ‘Will you marry me?’ she asked.
