Page 68 of The Side Road
‘It was terrible. But it was a long time ago.’ He hesitated. They were getting into deep history. He didn’t mind. It had to be aired, and it was best that it came from him.
‘My ex-wife, Lizzy, hit a tree on the Mitchell Highway.’
Mia hesitated. ‘Oliver, that’s a very straight road with hardly any trees.’
‘One thousand kilometres.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘Her blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit. She had a restraining order issued against the guy she was dating, but she was on her way to see him. There were text messages between them.’
‘I see.’ She paused. ‘That must have been rough. How did you cope with all of that?’
‘I got on my bike and went for a long ride. A very long ride. Clears my head. Five years in the Kimberleys also helped.’
Sitting up, she stared at the creek and studied the water rippling gently over the rocks and sunlight scattering across the dark surface.
‘I once ran away from boarding school,’ she confessed. ‘As you know, it wasn’t far. I was thirteen. I ran all the way home.’
‘Is that how you deal with stuff?’
‘No,’ she scoffed. ‘I’ve matured. Now I hide under a blanket and cry.’
‘That’s very adult. Now, I have a question for you.’
‘Out with it?’
‘Why did you escape to Eagle Nest?’
Guilt covered her face like a rash. What did she have to feel guilty about? She lay down and looked up at the sky. It was midday; the sun was high, and she squinted.
‘About three years ago, my boyfriend, Alfie, asked me to marry him. I said yes.’
‘You were engaged?’
‘I was. The thing is, when I told my friends about the engagement, they weren’t happy for me. They didn’t even pretend to be happy. They looked at me like I had a terminal illness. It turned into an intervention.’
‘They didn’t like him?’
‘They said he was controlling. I didn’t see any of the signs, but in hindsight, it’s now obvious. Alfie was charming and handsome. Sometimes, he was attentive. At other times, the opposite. He dished out love like a reward, which he took away just as quickly. I was always on the back foot, looking for his approval.’
Taking her mug, Oliver poured her another splash of wine, which she accepted.
‘He was also hyper-critical. He said I was too honest. I had a Pollyanna view of the world, which wasn’t meant as a compliment. He called me a serial monogamist…like that was a bad thing. For a long time after we broke up, I wasn’t happy. I had nothing to look forward to. My counsellor said I wasn’t depressed, I was languishing. I had to find a goal because having a purpose was protective. It keeps you sane.’
When he reached for her hand, she tucked it under her thigh.
‘Did you still see your counsellor?’
‘No. But she was brilliant, and I have her on speed dial. When it comes to relationships, I’m not always sure of myself.’ She rolled onto her side and looked at him. ‘Is that going to be a problem?’
‘Mia, I’ve seen sports psychologists, cognitive behavioural experts, pressure management specialists, and motivation gurus. For a long time, I worked with a therapist to address my inner child. And that only covers my head.’
‘What else is there?’
‘My heart.’
‘How is your heart?’
