Page 94 of The Side Road
Mia and Cindy stared at each other. When Cindy smiled, Mia tried to return the gesture. ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked.
‘Better. Now that I’m settled. I’m cooking Spag Bol for dinner. Family recipe. I forgot the tomato paste. Tash has run back into the supermarket.’
‘Really? Spaghetti Bolognese,’ Holly said. ‘Mia makes a great Bolognese sauce.’
‘I put milk in mine – in the meat sauce,’ Cindy said.
‘Mia puts mushrooms in hers. Don’t you?’
Mia nodded. ‘Sometimes.’
‘That’s not traditional,’ Cindy said.
‘It depends on the region,’ Holly countered. ‘She makes her own pasta – from scratch.’
When Tash arrived with the tomato paste, Holly said, ‘Mia also makes her own tomato passata.’
‘I haven’t done that in a while,’ Mia said. She turned to Holly. ‘We should probably get going. The coffee shop closes in a few minutes.’
‘It was nice meeting you,’ Holly said. ‘I’m away for a few days, so I’ll probably never see you again. Good luck with the baby.’
Cindy’s carefully controlled demeanour collapsed and a black look crossed her face.
The Horse TroughCafe had closed. Angus was still inside, cleaning the coffee machine. Mia tapped on the glass and waved, but Angus shook his head and pointed to his watch. They were five minutes too late; he wasn’t opening the door. They turned around and walked back to the FoodWorks to buy coffee beans.
At home, while Holly packed for the wellness retreat, Mia composed a text message to send to Oliver. Given the circumstances, she thought it best if they cancelled their Monday date this week. It took several drafts before she was happy with the content and tone of the message, which included a long list of tasks that absolutely had to be completed before work on Tuesday. Ending her message, she wished him well and smooth sailing with his prenatal responsibilities.
30
CHICKEN
The following Sunday,Holly left for the wellness retreat. Home alone, Mia couldn’t sit still. Like an untethered kite, she drifted around the empty house. For a while, Snood followed her. Hoping for some attention, the dog thought she might eventually settle on the bed or in the reading nook. But Mia continued to wander aimlessly from room to room.
Looking for a distraction, cooking seemed like a good way to fill an empty afternoon. One ingredient at a time, she moved between the refrigerator and table, gathering items for her vegetable pasta: half a pumpkin, a bunch of broccoli, cauliflower florets, butter, parsley, and parmesan cheese. Back and forth she went. It was the most inefficient use of her time that she could imagine. Lacking an appetite, she eventually abandoned the idea and returned the ingredients to the refrigerator.
Suddenly, she felt the need to handwash something. Delicate fabrics and needlepoint lace required gentle care. It only took a few minutes of actual hands-on labour. After filling the laundry sink with lukewarm water and mild detergent,she separated the dark colours from the whites. Full immersion was required, then a light scrub and brief soak. Rinse, then repeat. The pieces were always air-dried and then laid on a rack away from the sunlight. They never went into the dryer. Maintaining the garment’s shape and size was important. If an item of clothing shrank or lost its shape, it was almost impossible for it to return to its original size.
Finding a partner was also about getting the fit right. Like a garment, a partner had to be comfortable. Not too tight or too loose – the right amount of flexibility was important – because you had to fit into each other’s lives.
As Mia arranged her underwear and turned her silk shirts on the drying rack, she realised Oliver might not be the right fit for her. He was a dreamer, while she was a pragmatist. At times, he was young and boyish. She was an adult, always. She liked his height, but she saw how this was also a disparity. Soon, her mindset about him – about them – started to shift. There were too many women in his past – the orgasm gap was ridiculous. He was working, but didn’t have a proper job, not really. His age was a problem. Five years may seem trivial later in life, but it was significant in your thirties; an immutable fact. While their arrangement had been fun – and the benefits were mutual – it was time to…to what?
She couldn’t just end it. Could she? That would be unfair to Oliver. He was doing the right thing. His actions might be questionable, but his heart was in the right place. He cared, and that was important. If his pregnant ex-lover showed up out of the blue and wanted to stay with him, who was she to stand in the way?
But when he looked into her eyes, did he see how jealous she was? Did he know how horrible she felt? When feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt stirred inside her, she shook them off.
‘Situations like this bring out the worst in me,’ she told Snood as he brought her his ball. ‘I am no match for that woman. I don’t want to compete with her for Oliver.’
Snood dropped the ball at her feet. He wiggled backwards, anticipating a game of catch. Mia picked the ball up and placed it on the shelf. Catch was an outside game. A heaviness descended over her. Fending off despair required willpower that she didn’t have.
She lit a candle and ate a large chocolate chip cookie. Then she took a hot bath, which strengthened her resolve. While drying herself, she decided the best course of action was distance. She would continue to give Oliver a wide berth until his problems with Cindy were resolved. Space was never a bad idea. Isolation fostered personal growth and promoted inner strength.
Later that evening, she finished a winter hat. Red and white with a geometric edge detail. She slipped it over Snood’s head and tied it under his chin. Never was there a more unimpressed dog.
Mia took the hat off. ‘It’s for Holly’s baby. Don’t tell her you wore it first.’
Snood offered a serious frown and she knew her secret was safe. After he placed his chin on her thighs, he gave her his best concerned dog face. With sorrowful eyes and a crinkled forehead, he let out a small whine.
‘I know.’ She fondled his ears.
