Page 87 of The Duke's Return
Considering his words, and Phoebe’s confidence in her, Genevieve let the anxious nerves wash away. She glanced at her gloved hands and the gown she wore. It was a lovely gown, this soft blue, and she wore it well.
So she decided to reveal herself.
Genevieve lifted her head and rolled her shoulders back before emerging at the top of the side stairs. She prayed she looked composed. Though she clung to the railing, she managed to stand still until they noticed her.
It was Julian who looked first like he had been searching for her. There was a wildness to the man. She had forgotten there was a storm outside, but she saw it now, the dampened clothes and windy hair. And there was another brewing storm in his blue eyes that swept over her up and down before meeting her gaze once more.
“Genevieve,” he croaked.
I had forgotten how good it felt to hear him say my name. How lovely it feels to be known. And yet… How it hurts. Am I really setting myself up to break my heart all over again?
Genevieve slowly descended the stairs. She had to move carefully or else her nerves might get the best of her. This was not a time to trip. Measuring each step carefully, she made it to the last one before she decided to speak up.
“I did leave you, didn’t I? Because I didn’t want a husband. I never did. I believe I told you that,” she added as Phoebe apprehensively moved out of her way. “And I certainly don’t want a husband who only returns when he sees fit in the middle of the evening.”
Part of her expected him to laugh, to smile, to tease. To try and charm his way out of this. Or maybe he would lie. Maybe he was here with the annulment papers. She couldn’t begin to guess, only knowing that she feared every possible outcome with misery.
Julian’s throat moved as he swallowed. “I made a mistake.”
The words were so unexpected that a short, bitter laugh escaped her lips. She might have expected many a word but not that. How foolish he made everything between them sound.
“What was the mistake?” Genevieve asked because she didn’t think she could live with the answer, but she definitely couldn’t live without it. “Our marriage? When you first left me? Perhaps when you returned? Or was it when you decided you could simply come and go whenever it pleased you?”
“Genevieve––” Julian reached for her and she stepped back. He winced and dropped his hand back at his side.
Behind her, Phoebe shifted a little closer. The household staff was nearby but out of the way. They would have an audience for this, whatever this might be.
But this didn’t dissuade him. Julian let out a deep breath. “Genevieve, please hear me out but for a moment.”
A moment only.
“I meant to give you freedom. It was what I always craved and it seemed to be what you desired. It was supposed to protect you from the world, from the ton, from… me. From being forced into a life with someone who didn’t know how to be a husband, let alone a person who knew how to love you. And I was wrong.”
“You were?” she asked before she could help herself.
He shared a pained smile. Recognizing that vulnerability in his gaze, she felt her heart skip a beat. “I couldn’t protect you, Genevieve. How could I when you were already so strong, so wise? You were never the one who needed protecting. I fear I was.”
The confidence within her faltered. She had been clinging to anger all this time, but now, much of it began to deflate. For a second, she forgot to be angry. His words settled in her mind with slow understanding and a small burst of hope.
But she couldn’t just let herself melt. Because dreams meant one would eventually wake up to real life. Remembering how he had turned away after her kiss, she lowered her gaze. “You were going to leave me. You were packing your bags without inviting me with you.”
“Yes. And I hated every second.”
Frustrated with herself and frustrated with him, Genevieve shook her head. “Then you should have done something different.”
“You left before I could.”
“Then you should have come for me the moment you realized I had left,” she countered at once, only for his mouth to curve into words he couldn’t seem to say. He was struggling like a fish out of water. Though she had sympathy, she wasn’t going to give her heart over in a mistake again. “But you didn’t. You waited until… until tonight. Why? Now what do you think will happen? Do you think to stay?”
He gave a jerky nod, sweeping forward to caress her cheek so gently her breath caught. “Genevieve, please. Let me stay with you. Or stay with me. I want this, I want you. I want to try everything––”
It was torture forcing herself away from him. Her cheek burned as she felt the tears threatening to fall. Still, she stared Julian down. He didn’t flinch or look away. Determination furrowed his brow. Though she noted his hands balling into fists, he didn’t make a move to leave or touch her again.
She swallowed hard. “Words are easy, Your Grace. You know that better than I.”
“Please.” The word was quiet, a soft pleading. Meeting her gaze, he slowly descended down to a knee before her in a sight that left her speechless. When she didn’t move away, his boot just barely grazing her own, Julian put out a hand to her. “Words are easy and actions are difficult. I know this. I have feared such a thing. No one has ever made me even think to try. But that is all I want now with you and for you.”
Such a sight threatened to undo Genevieve. She tried to move away, overwhelmed with the emotions pouring through her as she stood over a man stripped of his defenses and pride. The humility and desire in Julian’s eyes nearly frightened her. How could anyone feel so much?
