Page 85 of Their Brazen Countess
Theo laughed long and loud as she slapped her thigh and bent over double. After a long and head splitting moment, she straightened up and smiled. “Nice try, but nobody drives my phaeton but me.”
Linc groaned again. “You couldn’t have brought a barouche or carriage?”
Theo snorted. “Only the best and fastest vehicle for me, my good sir.”
“Of course.” He rolled his eyes heavenward in a prayer for strength. This was going to be one hell of a ride.
A short while later he was settled on the bench next to Theo, who had a firm grip on the reins of her two horses pulling her phaeton. As they clopped along the street, he found the fresh air was clearing his head and helping to shake off the dregs of the last few days. He was just feeling more himself when Theo broke in to his contemplations on his health.
“So, I understand you are under the impression that what happened at the ball is your fault.” She lifted one eyebrow and cocked her head at him while keeping her other eye on the road.
“News does travel fast.” Linc darted a glance at her from the corner of his eye.
“Indeed, it does. Oh, bloody hell!” Theo cursed roundly as she hauled back on the reins to avoid trampling a dog that shot out into the street.
Linc’s heart now pounded in his chest, and he was honestly feeling a little green with that abrupt stop.
“As I was saying, Matthew being taken is absolutely not your fault,” Theo said the statement as if it were fact.
Her utter confidence in her knowledge was shocking—mostly because he knew with the same certainty that itwashis fault. “I’m afraid it is my fault. I was the one responsible for ensuring he remained safe during the ball. I was the one who went up there to check on him throughout the night. I was the one who promised Jo her son would be safe after Arthur and I visited the brute of a brother-in-law. Who else is responsible?”
“How about Lady Downs? She is, after all, the one who slipped up there and took Matthew,” Theo said archly.
“But had I done a better job of securing Matthew, she would not have been able to take him,” Linc pointed out in what he felt was a perfectly reasonable tone.
“Possibly, but you and Arthur laid out the plan for Matthew’s safety together, did you not?”
Linc sighed inwardly.She had a point. “Yes, but I handled the execution of the plan.”
“Yet Arthur had a hand in designing it, believing it to be sufficient. Correct?”
“Well, yes.” Linc couldn’t deny that fact.
“And you do not blame Arthur for what happened?” she asked gently.
“I do not. You know I do not.” Linc sighed, feeling her point being driven home.
“Then why on earth do you hold yourself responsible?” Theo’s exasperation leaked out as she sedately nudged the horses on.
“Because…” Linc huffed out a breath of frustration. “Because once again I let someone I love down—and I won’t do it again. I can’t stand the gut wrenching feeling of disappointing people I care about. In the end, when they push me away because it has happened one too many times, it…it will destroy me.” He wouldn’t look at her as he heaved in a breath and tried to calm his racing heart. He couldn’t bear it.
“Who was it, Linc? Who did you fail?” Theo asked quietly as they turned into Hyde Park.
It wasn’t the popular hour for promenading, so they were relatively alone as Linc stared at the trees slipping by while images of his past crept up out of the darkness. “It was…it was my little sister.” The words ripped free from him, scratching his throat.
Theo gasped in surprise. “You had a sister?”
“I don’t talk about her because she died, and it is my fault. She’s dead because I failed her.” Linc’s chest felt like Theo had reached over and sliced him open from neck to navel and reached in to grab a hold of his heart.
“What happened?” She nudged the horses off the path and pulled them to a stop to allow other vehicles to go by before turning to face him on the bench and press a hand over the one that lay fisted on his thigh.
“She was so pretty. All golden hair and big blue eyes, like a little doll. She was five, I was ten. She would follow me everywhere.” Linc chuckled grimly, the pain of discussing this stabbing at his insides. “I hated that she tried to come with me. Most days I let her, of course, but that day…that day I was determined to leave her at home. I was meeting my friends to go exploring, and they had all said not to come if Melanie came along. The servants were accustomed to her following me, so no one was concerned at first when they couldn’t see her.”
Theo squeezed his hand in silent encouragement.
“By the time I got home from a day of exploring, everyone was worried. When I showed up without Melanie, everyone panicked. I swore to them she was home when I left that morning. At first, they didn’t believe me. They swore I was playing a dirty trick on them. But I wasn’t.” A tear slipped down Linc’s cheek as the pain of that day returned. “They organized search parties, looked everywhere for her. Finally, I went down to the river we often swam in and hoped I would not find her there. I…I found her floating in the water. Her hair was caught in the brush by the water's edge, holding her there. It took me a moment to realize she wasn’t alive and…and she had on nothing but her chemise.”
“Oh God!” Theo choked out the words as tears ran freely down her cheeks.
