Page 39 of The Winter Rogue
The only man Charlene had ever loved then walked out of the house, stepped over Lord Fenwick where he still laid in the driveway, and climbed into his carriage which had apparently pulled up during all the ruckus.
Charlene's heart sank as Drew left, for what she knew would be the last time.She would never see him again.
As she stood there, numb from the loss, her father glanced over to her.“We should get back to the festivities or your mother will notice.Heaven help us all if she gets wind of what just occurred.”
Nodding blankly, Charlene followed her father into the great hall and found a corner to hide in as she tried to think about everything which had happened.
Assheclimbedintobed that night, once the party finally ended, Charlene’s body felt like aspic held up by bones.Her head ached and her lips were chewed raw inside from holding back her tears.
Her entire world had been upended.The thing was, she wasn't sure when Andrew Wentworth had become so central to her world.
Oh, she knew she loved him.There was no question, or her heart would not feel so shattered now.And she'd tried to tell him—but she was never one to be able to say elegant things.She was more of a furious poet.Words flowed for her when she was angry, not when she was calm, or at least trying to retain that elusive state.It was no wonder she'd failed so utterly at expressing herself.
Charlene sighed.And as a result of her inadequacies, Drew was gone, lost to her forever.The first tear which had been pent up for hours now slipped free and trailed down her cheek.It was as though the dam that had held all of her emotions back finally cracked.
She shattered.A sob broke free of her chest and the rest of the tears followed.She cried for the little girl who had been so infatuated with a boy named Drew, and for the girl who had thought she would have a fairytale love, and the woman who had fallen in love with the man.As her tears fell, soaking her pillow, Charlene curled up into a ball and let the pain wash over her in waves.
At some point, gentle hands took hold of her shoulders and eased her into a welcome embrace.She smelled lilacs, and knew it was her mother before she uttered a word.
“Hush now, dearest.Tell me, what has you so upset?”
Charlene sniffed and tried to find the words to explain as her mother ran a soothing hand up and down her back.In the end, there was only one thing to say.“I-I love him, Mother.”
“Lord Fenwick?”Her mother was so shocked it made Charlie laugh through her tears.
“No, heavens no.Drew.I love Drew, Mama.”The tears stirred once more, not quite finished with her yet.
“Oh, my child, I did not—I had never thought—and does he not feel the same way?”her mother crooned as she gently rocked Charlene, who laid half in her lap.
“I think he does.He said he was thrilled to know it, but—” she sniffled again “—but it made no difference.Father's threat to ruin him has c-come between us.”
Her mother sighed softly.When she spoke, it sounded to Charlene as though her mother agreed with Drew.“Dearest, it's not just your father's threats that stand between you two.You understand, don't you?A union between you two is impossible.Society would never accept him—for goodness’ sake, the man is intrade.”
Charlene pushed away from her mother.“It wouldn't matter if I stayed out of Society.I don't care about all of that nonsense, anyway.”
Her mother shook her head sadly.“I fear your Father would never allow it.”She brushed a strand of Charlene's hair away from her eyes.“He dotes on you and wants you to be well cared for.We are not getting any younger, and he needs to be assured that you will be secure long after we are gone.”
“But what about what I want?What I need?”The tears started again, and Charlene fell back into her mother's arms.
“Life does not always provide us with what we want, but I believe it usually allows for what we need.The question is do you want the man or do you need him in your life?”Her mother’s words were kind, but firm.
Charlene, drew in a great gulp of air and sat up to face her mother.“Without a doubt, I need him in my life.I love him.”
“Then have a little faith that all will turn out as it should.”She smiled softly at Charlene before rising from the bed.“Try to get some sleep.I’m sure the morning will bring more clarity.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Drewwalkeddownstairsaftera night of fitful sleep that saw him rising much later than normal.Despite Polly's attempts at bringing some cheer into the house, he found the silence oppressive as he ate a late breakfast that bordered on luncheon.
He missed the music of Charlie's laughter, the dulcet tones of her voice as she spoke to Polly, and he particularly missed the defiant tilt of her chin whenever she challenged him about something.Anything.He just…missed her.
With that painful thought, he wandered into the music room and approached the pianoforte.It remained uncovered from her original assault on his ears, so he sat down at the keys.It had been many years since he last played with any regularity, but every once in a while he felt the need to put his fingers to the notes.
So, what should he attempt?
Drew started playing Beethoven'sMoonlight Sonata.The music spoke to his soul as he pressed the first keys and the mournful sounds erupted from the instrument.Drawing breath grew more difficult as the pain of loss intensified throughout the piece.
He loved Charlie, but could find no way in which they could be together, no way they could indulge their love without ruining the lives of so many others.He was in trade, she was a noblewoman.She had been betrothed before, she needed no further scandal.
