Page 62 of Till The Cows Come Home
I grabbed her chin, guiding her face until she was looking directly at me.
“We get to do this once, Sage. I didn’t win the lottery and we may have to do some of the work ourselves, but this is our chance to make it what we want. Be selfish.”
She laid back into my lap, her feet tapping in excitement at the other end of the swing, and after a few moments she tilted her head back at me.
“How about a new name?”
I’d peeled back many layers of Sage, but I never expected this. It was liberating in a way, knowing you’d affected a person so much that they saw the world through a new lens, but giving up Baker Farm was not on my bingo card.
“You don’t have to do that, Sage.”
“I want to,” she said. “I love Baker Farm, and I love that you loved it, but like you said, we only get to do this once. I don’t want to be stuck in the past anymore.”
“What were you thinking?”
“I thought maybe I wouldn’t,” she said, looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and I couldn’t help but notice that the uncertainty that usually found its way to her expression was nowhere to be found.
“What do you mean?”
“You should decide.”
Her fingers laced in mine, giving me a gentle squeeze before continuing.
“I want you to be selfish too, and I think that starts here, at the beginning. I’ll give you my input on what I want, but you have to agree to want, too.”
I smiled down at her, realizing she was right. When the claim was approved, I was thinking about the wants of the herd, of her, the community even, but I had a second chance too and hadn’t thought of a single thing I’d do to enhance the experience for myself.
“It seems we have a lot of work to do,” I finally said, a silent agreement to her demands. “But first, I think we could both use a shower and a meal. Your car is still at the farm. Do you want to start there?”
Sage nodded, and as I looked down at her, everything was unfamiliar. Her clothes looked worn out and so did she, her hair in a curly pile atop her head, red splotches freckling her face. I reached out a hand and when she took it, I pulled her off the swing to where I was now standing, encompassing her in my arms. A tiny groan escaped the labyrinth I’d squeezed her into, and I loosened my hold just enough to allow space for her chest to rise and fall.
“Are you trying to kill me?” she squealed, but her words negated her wants as she giggled, nuzzling her face into my chest.
The desire to make up for every lost moment tempted me to drag her back into her old room, showeringher in affection until she forgot every moment she hadn’t received it, but there was a time and a place for a passionate reunion and this was not it.
“I missed you,” I whispered into her hair, resting my chin carefully atop her head.
“I missed you,” she echoed into my chest.
Moments later I was moving as she dragged me through her parent’s house, eventually stopping so abruptly in front of where they sat hand in hand, feet up in matching recliners, that I almost plowed through her. They smiled up at us, offering no words, silently saying all they needed through the expressions plastered on their faces.
“Miles is taking me to get my car,” Sage exclaimed, rocking slightly on her heels as she waited for a response.
“Okay, sweetheart. Call us if you need us.”
If I wasn’t trying to avert my eyes from what seemed like a pivotal personal moment, I may have missed the small squeeze Gale delivered to her husband’s hand after Sage spoke. He was the conduit, happily absorbing her excitement so it didn’t escape as she gracefully allowed her daughter to forge her own path without influence. Sage turned to leave, but stopped herself once more, facing them once again.
“I think I’m also going to stay at my apartment tonight.”
Her parents nodded and my chest tightened as I felt every emotion her parents attempted to suppress. Sage’s hand dropped from mine as she walked to them, but I remained still, watching from a distance as she squeezed into the small space existing between their chairs. She wrapped her arms around them as she pulled them in tight, and while I couldn’t hear specifics, small conversation fragments reached me, causing me to swell with pride. Watching Sage experience growth did something to me, and I couldn’t help but gawk as she gracefully patched another hole, slowly but surely healing the fractured relationships around her.
After a few moments of hushed apologies and thanks, Sage let go of her mother, opening their circle.
“Get over here.” Gale smirked, ushering me into the empty space.
I happily obliged, chuckling as Gale and Sage smushed me between them.
“I love you, Sage,” she said, “Go, heal, but don’t shut us out. Let's leave the past in the past.”
