Page 40 of Our Unexpected Beginning
Julia turned and defensively crossed her arms. “What? I told you that you didn’t know what you were in for.”
“I could tell you some stories about mine if you’d listen.” His offer was kind, but it wasn’t what she was able to hear at that moment.
“She was in rare form tonight, came at the two of us with both barrels and no punches held.” Julia held onto the railing and closed her eyes. “I’m surprised she’s not still talking about Devin.”
“Um, yeah, about that.”
“I’m sorry. He’s a sensitive subject.”
“Parents disagree with their kids about their futures all the time.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“You can tell me.”
“It’s okay.”
“Why do you do this Jules? Why? What’s going on that you didn’t tell me? Tell me what you’re hiding, I’m not going anywhere.” He noticeably stopped himself from reaching out to her. “You can tell me your darkest secrets and I’m not going to walk away. I promise, lay the wreckage at my feet and I will still be here.”
Julia silently weighed her options. It’d be so easy to hide, it’s what she was good at. She’d become accustomed to wearing the mask needed to be in the Sinclair family. You wore your armor and it’s how you survived swimming through shark infested waters.
Letting someone in is what gets you hurt. She’d had more than her fair share of it through the years. The walls stayed in place. They shielded her best and kept her from eroding any further.
There was a small part of her that screamed to tell him, let him in, and carry some of the weight. Graham had already proven time and time again that he was a good dominant. Someone who would bear the weight of his submissive and keep her accountable. Whole.
“Fine. I’m a liar. How’s that, you’re fucking a no-good liar. Someone who–”
“Stop.”
“What?”
“Don’t assume you know what I’m going to say or how I’m going to feel, Jules. Tell me and know thatI’m capable of making up my mind on my own without influence.”
“How the fuck are you so level-headed?”
“Don’t deflect.”
“Fine. When we were all talking at dinner.” Julia lowered her head and sagged against the bench. “About my brother.”
Graham leaned back and put his arm over her shoulder, tucking her against his side. His hand rested on hers and she idly played with his fingers.
“I did you the disservice of not telling you my brother’s full story.” She winced.
“Nobody…” Julia paused, searching for the least painful words. “Nobody knows. Not my aunt, or even Melody. My brother, Devin. It wasn’t an accident.”
The words rushed out of her, wheezing every bit of air from her lungs. It was a truth she never spoke out loud. “My brother committed suicide. It wasn’t an accident.” She chipped at the iceberg.
Graham wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulders. He gently squeezed her. “Tell me, I’m right here.” Julia looked up at him and fell into his reassuring gaze. She wondered how much of the truth he could handle. Aside from her family’s dysfunction of dynamics, she had a secret of her own, and she hadn’t found the courage to tell him.
One catastrophe at a time.
“He thought dying was easier than failing my mother’s expectations. I mean, that’s the cliff notes and not a story anyone knows.”
His hand was tight laced with hers reaffirming that he wasn’t going anywhere.
“She didn’t want anyone to know. I don’t know if being the pitiful mother who lost a child to an accident was better for her ego than a son who committed suicide. She convinced me not to say anything. I–I don’t know why but when I’m not here it doesn’t matter what everyone in town thinks because I know who my brother was.”
Julia smiled sadly, her eyes lost focus as she fell into the memory.
