Page 23 of Merciless Queen
My father drilled it in my head that love caused weakness. When he lost my mother, he became an empty shell, until he and Serena started talking and getting close. I took it personally and knew my father would get hurt again, so I handled the situation before it progressed anymore. I told her he would never love her, and that he was using her to mend his broken heart. Was it brutal? Yes, but it got the message across. Did the two of them look good together? Yes, but I knew he wasn’t in it for love, and she would get hurt. Serena should’ve thanked me for saving her from heartbreak. Sometimes I wondered why I let her stay here, and then I remembered she was the only person I trusted withmy men and the girls we rescued. With the situations I saved women and children from, I needed someone that knew how to handle them.
“It’s in name only. You don’t have to worry about me fucking Harlow unless she gets on her knees and begs me. I don’t see that happening. Do you? I need a wife to get these families off my ass about marriage, and I can protect her. She’ll be mine to the outside world, but here, she is free to do as she pleases.”
“She’s delicate. She didn’t talk much during our session.”
“She talks with Lizzy more and sometimes with me. I slept in her bed last night.” I saw her brows shoot to the roof. “She asked me to.”
“Be careful with her. She’s experienced a great trauma.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’ll do what is needed. And before you ask, no, I will not sleep with her. I might be a cold-hearted bitch, but I’m not a monster.”
“That’s a contradiction.”
I shrugged. “Okay? I get rid of vile people. I found the man who hurt you when you were a teenager and killed him for you. I found one of the men who hurt Elizabeth. And I will get Vincenzo and slit his damn throat after I sever his sorry excuse for a penis from his body. I’ll let Harlow take the revenge she needs to heal, too. If it makes me a monster killing bigger monsters, then so fucking be it.”
“Tread carefully with her. That’s all I wanted to say.”
I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying anything else. “Do you believe she is a danger to herself?”
“I’m not sure. Trauma is a difficult process. Everyone handles it differently. I can say she’ll be fine, but if she gets triggered or has a nightmare, I don’t know. Ten years is a long time to be with a monster.”
“It is. And I will do what I can to make this transition easy for her. I won’t let anyone hurt her. Keep your phone on. If we need to do emergency sessions, I expect you to be ready.”
She nodded, leaving my office. It was annoying how much she got personal with her patients, but she treated them like people and not like clients. Serena loved her career and being able to help women and children who were hurt like she was. In this life, there were a lot of people who treated women and girls like they were inferior. One thing I was strict about in my world was how women were treated. So was my father. Other families might’ve seen women as property and child bearers, but not us. A woman was a man’s equal in life, not inferior to him.
The way other families viewed women made me sick, and I was forever grateful for my father and the allies I had who had the same views. A woman could easily take out dynasties if provoked. Women were not weak, febrile creatures that men could throw around. I knew a woman who worked forthe Petrov family in New York—she was a world class assassin for the Bratva. There was no one she couldn’t find and take out. She assisted me sometimes when it came to retrieval. I wanted her help killing Vincenzo, but Roman refused to get tied up in my issues.
Roman was a great ally, but he didn't want to drag his family into another war after dealing with his father’s fallout when the man died. If he tried to take my life, it would be different, butpetty bickering,as he called it, didn’t require his services. He was an asshole, but I couldn't say I wouldn’t do the same if the positions were reversed. If Vincenzo wasn’t an issue, I would have a peaceful life.
CHAPTER 17
Harlow
Exhaustion tuggedat my bones when I made it back to my room. Existing was grueling right now since my mind was on constant alert and I was no longer fighting to survive in the hands of a monster. It felt like my spiraling mental health was a more sinister monster, pulling me deeper and deeper into the abyss. Here, I had to live with my riotous demons, as they gnawed and consumed me. With Vincenzo, as mortifying as it was, my mind was silent because I was focused on being in a constant state of panic. All I wanted to do was sleep, but sleeping meant I dreamed, and my dreams were grueling.
When I walked into my bedroom, I was shocked to see Elizabeth with a bright smile and an assortment of things scattered on my bed. There was also a bottle of wine, I thought, and snacks. What caught my eyes the most were the various canvases and paints. She did this for me?
“I—” Words got caught by a lump in my throat as my brain processed the gifts in front of me. “W-What is this?”
“This—” She directed her hands to everything on the bed, “—is for you. Cat told me how you said you liked painting beforeeverything happened, and she wanted you to have this. It’ll be a great coping skill, too. Do you want to go to school?”
I was still having trouble processing this. “C-Can I? I never finished high school.”
Elizabeth walked toward me, taking my hand and walking me closer to the bed. “Of course you can. We’ll have to work on getting your GED, but after that, you can choose to do whatever you want.”
“I-I’m s-scared.”
Her face dropped. “Why, sweet girl?”
“When things go good for me, so-something bad always happens. B-Before we were taken, I had a date with the girl I liked. When Vincenzo stopped seeing me for t-two weeks, m-my mom died, and he destroyed me. I-I don’t want something bad to happen,” I forced out quickly, stuttering over some of my words.
“I know, and I’m sorry. Here, he can’t get to you. He can’t control you or do anything that can harm you. Cat will protect you. I know she can be intense and sometimes a bitch, but she is one of the most powerful people in Chicago, and her allies will protect you, too, if she asks. Vincenzo has more enemies than he has friends.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. His friends were sick and deranged. Some of the men who hurt me would want my head on a stake instead of risking their political and social status, all because they decided to stick their dicks where they didn’t belong. I was not safe, no matter what they said. It was only a matter of time. I guessed until then, I could try to be happy and hope that whatever entity was watching over me––if I even had one—would protect me.
Elizabeth brushed my hair back. “I know life feels distant. Reality shouldn’t feel like you're watching everything through water, but it gets better. I won’t say it gets easier, because it’s hard. It’s going to take a lot when it comes to your healing, butI’ll be there every step of the way. Just don’t give up on me. Okay?”
I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. “Okay.”
