Page 40 of Merciless Queen
The sound of ferocious pounding on the door made my head loll to the side, but I didn’t move, my body clinging to the oblivion waiting for me just a few feet away. “Harlow, goddamn it!”
Sweet darkness was coming to take me away.
A perfect oblivion.
Freedom.
I screamed, the noise feeble and raspy, fighting the person taking me away from my sweet abyss. My fight was frail and desperate, but my body was weak as muffled voices filled my subconscious.
“Stop it!” My words were slurred, barely audible. “I just want to die! Please. I want my mom. Let me go to my mom, please!”
CHAPTER 31
Caterina
The aftermathof losing Angel hit everyone like a semi-truck. Angel’s personality was cheery and pure, but she was also naïve and trusting. Her view of the world was innocent, which made her an easy target. I wished the world matched her vision. Instead, we lived in a reality filled with monsters that stole the world’s beauty. Angel would be avenged, and her death would not be in vain. Vincenzo was a parasite sucking the life out of everything he touched. The thought of what he did with her body made me sick. How long did he have her, and what did he put her through before he ended it?
It was a thought spiral I didn’t need right now, and I couldn’t help the guilt gnawing at my chest. I could have done something more, protected my girls better. I could only do so much when they were away from the club. There was either a rat in my club, or he sent a fucking spy again and they chose Angel. I was going to get my vengeance. Fuck a mafia war.
He killed one of my girls. Vincenzo kidnapped and raped a child. The women in his clubs were barely legal, but what possessed him to alter those rules for Harlow? Even a monster like him should have some fucking decency. I was going to callRoman Petrov later and see what he could do or if I could utilize Natalya for a few days. The answer was already no, since she was his assassin and they had a fucking treaty, but the thought of her shooting him and ridding the world of filth was tantalizing to think about.
There was a soft knock at my door and for a second, I believed it was Harlow. After I said what I said, I had no clue how to get my foot out of my mouth. It’d been three days, and I’d been a coward, but it was a mess with the fallout. I frowned when Serena stepped into my office, the look on her face concerning.
“What is it?”
“I’m concerned about Harlow. She is taking Angel’s death hard.”
I grimaced. “Why?”
She sighed, stepping in closer and taking a seat across from me. “She believes it’s her fault. If she was enduring a life or torture at his hands, being his ‘wife,’ no one else would be dying because of it,” she explains. “This doesn’t leave this room. She advised me that Vincenzo would force her to watch what he or his men did to other women. Dismembering, beheading, and raping as a fear tactic for her to behave.”
My fists clenched. “What did he put her through for ten years?”
“I still don’t know, but this pushed her over the edge. I’m really concerned that she might harm herself.”
“I’ve heard her and Lizzy talk. Elizabeth is helping her. I don’t think she will.”
“Cat, trauma affects us differently. It comes in waves. One day we can be fine and happy. Next, there’s this heavy weight dragging us under. It’s only been six weeks since she got away. She is by no means healed.”
“What do you think we should do?”
“She needs support. Harlow trusts you.” I was already getting too personal with her. Having her in my bed broke every rule I set up for myself, but I knew she needed me. I’d rather my shields be down than her be thrown into a panic attack. I couldn’t do much more when it came to attaching myself to her, and the last thing she needed was to get attached to me.
“Cat!” Luca clamored as he stumbled into my office. “I think Harlow is hurting herself. Elizabeth wanted to check on her, but her door was locked. I kicked it in, but the shower’s running and the bathroom door is locked, too.” Fuck. “Elizabeth wanted me to come get you just in case.”
The three of us ran upstairs, my heart beating a mile a minute until I heard Elizabeth’s sobs as she pounded violently on the door. “Harlow, please. Don’t do this!”
Serena pulled Elizabeth from the door as Luca kicked it in on the third try. A dense cloud of steam burst through as I rushed inside. The bathroom mirror was shattered, glass shards everywhere with droplets of blood leading to the shower. When I pulled the door open, I heard Elizabeth gasp, crying harder, and Luca pulled her into his chest as she sobbed.
Harlow was dazed, almost drunk looking. Blood pooled from her wrists, dispersing with the scalding, hot water. I was not a doctor, but I’d been stabbed and shot more times than I could count, and she’d lost too much blood. I grabbed her, careful of her wrists, but she screamed, the sound raspy as she fought me. Even with the amount of blood she lost, she was still fighting, even if it was to no avail.
“Stop it! I just want to die.” Her words were slurred, weak. “Please. I want my mom. Let me go to my mom. Please!”
I ripped my shirt over my head and covered her bleeding wrists, cradling her body. “Get Lena here now. She lost a lot of blood.”
“Just let me die!”
I pulled her into my embrace, my arms wrapping around her tenderly and softly, so she didn’t panic more. Her head rested on my chest, and I could feel the tremors of her sobs reverberate. I whispered words of affirmation as I held her tightly, as if I could absorb her pain and make it my own. She didn’t deserve this agony, the constant battle in her mind telling her that life was too hellacious to fight another day.
