Page 103 of Alpha Dragon's Mating Contract
“Anyway, the thing was that we had each other’s backs. They trusted my orders, and I trusted them to pull their weight.
“Just that we received some rotten intel one day.”
Walren’s heart sank. “Oh no.”
Raptor looked at Walren, anguished. “You have to know that I felt responsible for all of them. All their lives. We were in uncharted enemy terrain and at a disadvantage. I had taken care to bring them through places where we could not be cornered. But the enemy must’ve used magic to conceal themselves; theyambushed us. And I wasn’t in time to stop most of my squad from being shot down.”
Walren cringed in sympathy. “Did... Did anyone...?”
Raptor tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “Of the ones that died, most didn’t perish immediately. I ended up taking on most of the enemies myself, shifted, because my scales are near impenetrable. But our healer was killed early on in that ambush, and we only had a limited number of healing spells. By the time I’d managed to save whoever I could, we were down to a quarter of our numbers.
“In all of my three hundred and seventy years, that day still remains one of my worst ever.”
Raptor looked every day of his age then. Walren slipped his hand into the alpha’s, holding him. Wishing he could do more.
Raptor squeezed his hand in return. He blew out a deep breath. “I didn’t tell Ace for two reasons. The first, like I said, was because he didn’t need another burden. The second...” Raptor sighed. “I was ashamed of myself. Still am.”
Walren slipped his arms around Raptor, pulling him into a tight hug. “It’s not your fault.”
“It is,” Raptor hissed, growing tense. “I should’ve done better. Should’ve scouted ahead. Should’ve shifted sooner. I should’ve done so many fucking things, and I’ve replayed that day in my head thousands of times, trying to make it better.”
Walren’s heart broke for him. He held Raptor and rubbed his back, knowing that this was something he could only listen to, but not fix. “I’m sorry.”
Raptor gave a small shrug.
“Did... Did the rest of them make it out alive?” Walren asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.
“Yeah. Most of the surviving ones did. I lost three more along the way, then my squad merged with another, so it wasn’t obvious when I met Ace again, that my own squad had suffered a catastrophe.”
Walren hugged him again. “He didn’t realize how badly the war affected you?”
“He didn’t. I think he must’ve seen some crap, too. He looked worse than he did before we joined the war.” Raptor sighed. “After the war, we took a long, long break from reality. We did the craziest things we could think of. We pretended to be different people. There wasn’t much left for me at that point; I could barely live with myself. So we tried new and better ways to distract ourselves. After a while, ‘crazy’ became part of who we were.”
“Oh, Rap.” Walren tucked his face into the crook of Raptor’s neck, breathing in his musk and sweat. “I like you for who you are now.”
Raptor’s chest rose in a deep inhale. “Yeah? You mean that?”
“Of course.”
“You’re amazing, sweetheart.” Raptor gave Walren a smile that turned his insides all gooey and warm.
They breathed quietly together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Walren felt humbled, again, that Raptor had trusted him with something so important.
“So,” Raptor said after a while. Walren looked up at him. “Ready to talk about the pregnancy?”
25
PREGNANCY
Walren’s heart skipped a beat. “Um!”
Raptor watched him with a patient smile, so different from Larei that Walren’s reservations melted away.
“I... I guess we can talk about it,” Walren said breathlessly.
“Good. First question: We’re definitely keeping the baby, right?”
“Yes.” Walren ignored the discomfort in his stomach. Even though the pregnancy had happened anyway, and even though Raptor didn’t know about the contraceptive spells, Walren still felt guilty for keeping that a secret. “I agreed to that in the contract, didn’t I?”
