Page 6 of Secrets Beneath a Riviera Sky
Francine shook her head. ‘Too many memories floating around. Mainly that awful last summer visit when I had that major fallout with Oscar.’ Even now, thirty-six years later, Francine could feel herself trembling at how awful it had been. Since then she’d never called him anything other than Oscar and had never been back to either Cannes or anywhere else in the South of France.
All communication between her and Oscar in the years following since then had been done via phone calls or e-mails and the occasional very short sessions on FaceTime. As Agnes gave her a worried look, Francine took a sip of her coffee and willed herself to be calm and stay in the moment. She’d never given Agnes the full details of what had happened on that dreadful day of her last summer holiday with her father, and she didn’t intend to after all this time.
‘I’ll get on the computer when I’ve drunk this and book the tickets,’ she said, bringing the conversation firmly back to the present. ‘It will be just the three of us, Edwin is staying here to hold the fort and will join us in a few days. Shall we go out for lunch today? Totnes and Dartington Hall? A quick look around the grounds and then lunch at our favourite pub restaurant. Take our mind off things.’
Agnes nodded. ‘Sounds good. Do you know what time Jasmine is arriving?’
‘No. Late afternoon is her usual time.’ Francine drained her coffee and stood up.
‘I was wondering,’ Agnes said quietly. ‘What Theo is likely to do with the ashes when he collects them from the crematorium.’
Francine stilled. ‘No idea. Throw them in the Med maybe? I don’t suppose he’ll want them on the mantelpiece. Right. I’ll go and book the tickets and then I’ll organise breakfast.’
Up in her office Francine quickly searched for and found available flights from Bristol to Nice on various days, chose an afternoon one and typed in her credit card details. It already felt strange knowing that in a few days she would be returning to the South of France and facing the memory of a life that barely registered in her brain these days but still occasionally surprised her with a painful jolt. And if she was feeling this way, goodness only knew how Agnes was truly feeling.
Waiting for the confirmation e-mail, her thoughts drifted back to Agnes’s question about the ashes. What would Theo do with his brother’s remains? Maybe it would be a good idea to have a small wake and then the four of them could dispose of Oscar’s ashes in a suitable place to give everyone closure over the past and let them move on. Perhaps she’d suggest it when they were there, see how everyone else felt.
* * *
Zazz settled back in her seat with a sigh as she waited for the train to leave the station. Another few hours and she’d be home in Dartmouth. The last couple of days had been busy, not to mention difficult. Rufus had been less than understanding as she’d finally told him of her plans two nights ago, over supper in his favourite bistro. She knew she was in the wrong for not discussing them with him before but she’d had this idea in her head that once people knew they would try to dissuade her. It had been better to work it all out and present it as afait accompli. Only Rufus didn’t see it that way.
‘I can’t believe you’ve planned this secretly. Without even asking my advice. I thought we meant something to each other,’ he’d said.
She sighed. The two of them had had fun in the last year. She liked Rufus a lot but the wordlovehad not been uttered by either of them to the other. The phrase ‘friends with benefits’ had summed up their friendship perfectly. Zazz had never seen their relationship as permanent and she’d thought Rufus felt the same. Apparently not.
‘You do mean something to me,’ she said now. ‘You’re the first person I’ve told. I haven’t even told my parents yet. I needed to work things out by myself. I didn’t want anybody telling me it was a silly idea.’
‘And now your silly idea means we’re breaking up.’
‘It’s not a silly idea and, yes, I suppose we are breaking up – although we can remain friends. Keep in touch with each other – Facebook, WhatsApp, e-mails and once I’m settled you can come and visit. I’ll be back to see you and my parents – I’m going to Europe, not Australia. Besides, your life is going to change in a few weeks when your current contract ends. Who knows where you’ll end up.’
But Rufus had refused to be mollified. ‘I can’t believe you shut me out and organised a new life without consulting me. If you’d said and waited three months we could have gone travelling together. I’d never shut you out of my life like that.’
‘But that’s the whole point. I’m not going travelling. I’m going to live in one place. Live in the local French community. And I want to go now – not wait until your current work contract ends.’ Zazz took a deep breath. Guiltily, she realised she had shut Rufus out, expecting him to understand the reasons why she’d acted like she had, which he clearly didn’t. Possibly because she hadn’t told him the full story. The real reason why she had kept her plans secret from everyone.
‘Rufus, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt or upset you but this is something I need to do for myself. Surely we can still be friends?’ Silence had greeted her words.
The evening had ended with them barely speaking, Rufus placing a goodbye kiss on her cheek and grudgingly wishing her good luck before walking away. Saddened, Zazz had watched him go, hoping that he would eventually forgive her and their friendship would survive this blow she was guilty of dealing it. But if it didn’t, then she’d have to accept that it wasn’t meant to be.
As the train began to move Zazz gazed out of the window thoughtfully. The first foray into her new life was about to begin and her fingers were firmly crossed that all would be well.
8
Francine was in the kitchen on the phone giving Theo their travel details, as he’d insisted he would be at the airport to collect them, when Zazz arrived home. Francine smiled her welcome before finishing her conversation with Theo.
‘Are you sure about meeting us? We can easily get a taxi and save you the trouble.’ She smiled at something Theo said. ‘Okay, we’ll see you the day after tomorrow then, four o’clock at Nice airport. Thank you.’ Ending the call, she turned to hug Zazz.
‘Welcome home, darling. Big suitcase for a quick visit?’
Zazz returned the hug but ignored the question behind her words. ‘Great to be home. Dad around?’
‘It’s his afternoon for volunteering at the museum. He’ll be home in about an hour.’
‘How’s Granny coping with Oscar’s death?’
‘Difficult to say. She seems okay,’ Francine said. ‘Busy packing for our trip and hiding her true emotions away as usual.’
‘We’re good at doing that in this family,’ Zazz said and immediately wished she’d kept her mouth closed when her mother threw her a look.
