Page 64 of The Tsar's Obsession
I hadn't thought of or been with any women for the last four years while I waited for Mia, and it was repulsive to think about it. To my chagrin, Danila didn't interpret this as a joke.
"Wait, didshetell you this?" The way he asked made me think that I probably should have heard it from her.
"No. Dima told me. But her tears at my injury, which I'd never seen before, make me think it's real. So? Did you know?"
"There are rumors. Rather, there have been rumors for a long while. I guess you're so insulated that you didn't hear them yourself. Just like a Tsar," Danila scoffed, makingmy heart sink. "I don't know what's going on over there, but I have trouble believing she'd do something like that. If anything, she would target your girl, not you." This information was even worse than what Dmitry told me. "But she's not stupid. She may be in love, but she doesn't have a death wish, Kirill. She knows you'd bury her alive. No one lives in delusion about who you turn into when provoked." Danila laughed once more, but I found nothing funny.
"They don't? I hear lots of rumors of discontent about my move here." I wondered why I never discussed this with Danila; he would have been well aware of what the others were saying.
"Oh yeah? I hadn't heard that. There were a few, but they're insignificant, just a fewavtoritetirunning their mouths now that you're overseas." He paused and clicked something on the other side of the world. "Your problem is there. Not here."
My problems were everywhere. "How is my biggest problem there?" I vehemently didn't want to speak or remember it, but it loomed on the horizon.
"Slowly deteriorating by himself. It's only a matter of months."
Fucking finally, some good news.
And more good news was on the horizon when, a few weeks later, Mia and I strolled toward our new home, fall leaves crunching beneath our feet. Her hand was in mine, and her heart too. Excitement surged through me, blasting through everything else. Around her, I almost felt like a good man. Almost.
Mia wandered through the empty apartment, taking it all in, while I stood back and watched. My love. My future. Adjusting to the space that would become ours. For her, this was new, but for me, it had been a long time coming. I’d spent years scheming, dreaming, and ensuring this moment would happen.
Of course, we would live together. No matter the chaos of my world that I longed to abandon, every night I had a treasure in my arms. This would beourplace. We would make memories here; we would build something real.
This was a dream come true.
Time passed in a blissful domestic blur. Was it very unlikely that we never argued, never had to carve out space, and never ran into the usual growing pains of living together? Yes. But I had always known, deep down, that when our lives finally intertwined, it would be effortless.
As we unpacked and filled our home, Viv and Carly came over one night, seemingly to help but mostly to check out the place. Viv’s voice carried through the half-empty apartment, impossible to ignore.
"So, you know the crazy motherfucker at my job, the guy who shits on everyone's head to make sure we all produce our numbers and not have families or a life?" Viv swore like a sailor but was masterful with her words. "Anyway, joke's on him because he's six feet underground now. Apparently, he overdosed on some blow laced with some fucked-up shit like fentanyl or whatever the fuck they put in there,” she said, cackling. “We all knew he was a huge coke-head, but we never predicted we’d have to send his drug dealer a thank-you basket.”
"Wow, damn. He did coke?” Mia asked, genuinely surprised. Such a sweet soul. She told me she thought that it was only ‘junkies’ who did drugs and not the elite, the powerful, and the polished that we sold our product to.
"Pfffft fuck yeah!” Viv scoffed. “He was a coke-head foryears. Guess he got a bad batch.”
Another trip up. I knew who Viv was talking about not because I kept tabs on every overdose, but because I’d already suspected someone was tampering with our product. The dead portfolio manager was another name on a growing list.
Someone was fucking up my business. Who, and at what point in production, was still unknown to me. But it was time to tighten the fucking reins.
29
Christmas
Mia
“Alltheseboxesgoin the closet, please.” With a muted thud, the movers placed the boxes of my clothes and shoes in the biggest walk-in closet I’d ever laid my eyes on. The morning sun graced my new bedroom with a blinding light while I walked around and wondered what to do with all this space now.
When I first showed this apartment to Kirill, I had no inkling that I would ever step foot here again, and yet, here I was, thinking about how to furnish what became my home as well.
The move-in date marked the beginning of a new life for me. Although, if I was honest, my new life began right in this apartment on that stuffy August afternoon when I laid my eyes on him. He fell into my world and turned it all upside down.
Me. Mia, the girl who was cautious, careful, hard to please and conquer, moved in with a man she fell in love with within a few weeks. Kirill’s attention, passion, love, obsession, and fire for me plunged me into a blissful state of mind. I had never felt this way before.
Slowly, but also all at once, nothing seemed important in life anymore, only me and him, together. Had I ever been this happy in life? Never. I was so in love; I saw the world in only pink colors.
I loved every second of living with him. I never wanted tolive with anyone before. I loved my independence and couldn’t imagine sharing a space, my bedroom, with anyone. But now, it was the complete opposite. Seeing his things around our home gave me genuine feelings of happiness. I looked forward to him jumping into the shower with me in the morning, and I took pleasure and pride in cooking for him. Simple daily things made me happy now, no longer annoyed or scared.
White stains of melted salt colored the streets as the freezing weather settled onto the city. The hard wind and occasional snow made it all feel downright miserable, but inside our home it was warm, cozy, and had an aura of sex, lust, and indulgence.
