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“So, how do you plan on finding someone to date, then?” Todd asks eventually.
I shrug and say, “I’m hoping it just happens, you know? Maybe a client or something.” I can’t stop myself from conjuring the image of a certain curvy redhead, her plush lips, glossy and pink, just inches away from mine.
Layla must see the glazed look in my eyes because she says, “Do you have someone in mind?”
“No,” I reply too quickly, and immediately recognize my mistake when Layla’s green eyes light in triumph.
“Oh my god, who is it?” she pesters.
“No one!”
“Tell me!” she exclaims.
I decide to give in because I know from experience if I don’t tell her, she’ll never stop. “Ugh, fine. It’s not going to go anywhere, but one of my new clients is really pretty.”
Stunning. Sexy. Drop-dead.
“Why isn’t it going anywhere?” Todd asks. “I don’t think you’ve ever had trouble in that department,” he continues matter-of-factly. Layla wrinkles her nose in mild disgust which makes Todd laugh.
I chuckle too, because I’ll take any chance to make Layla mildly uncomfortable. It’s my brotherly duty. “Well, no,” I admit, “But from the looks of it, she’s just out of a relationship and isn’t really on the market.”
Layla peers at me thoughtfully, “You know, they say that a woman emotionally leaves a relationship way before it actually ends on paper. If she’s the one ending it, anyway.” She shrugs. Todd looks at her, worry drawing his thick brows together. Layla’s eyes soften and she says to him, “Don’t worry. I’m still firmly planted with you.” I want to be disgusted because she’s my sister, but I can’t feel anything but happy that she’s found her person.
While they make googly eyes at each other, I take the opportunity to get on the ground and play cars with my nephew. He’s a huge reason I moved closer to my sister. We take turns smashing our cars together. I take the time to appreciate his little face, cataloguing all the ways he’s already changed since I saw him last. He’s the perfect blend of Todd and Layla. His smooth brown skin is just a few shades lighter than Todd’s, and his nose and eyes look exactly like Lay’s. I love him so much, I want to squeeze him.
Hudson lets out a huge, jaw-cracking yawn, signaling Layla and Todd to get everything together and head home for bedtime. When I close the door after they leave in a flurry of chaos, I can’t help but feel a little sad at how quiet and empty my house is without a family to fill it.
CHAPTER 7
Summer
Ihave Gilmore Girls cued up on the TV, and I’m just pouring out a freshly-popped bag of popcorn into a serving bowl when the doorbell rings. “It’s open!” I call, snagging the popcorn and two wine glasses, so I can deposit them in front of the TV. My door opens and Steph steps through, her bag of goodies haphazardly thrown over her arm. She crosses the room and launches herself at me.
“Hey, girl! How are you?” Steph steps back, holding my shoulders and taking me in. She looks almost the same as she did in high school. The same curly hair that falls just past her shoulders, the same light brown, flawless skin, and the same big smile pointed at me without reservation.
“I’m alive,” I deadpan, pulling her down on the couch with me. She drops her bag of snacks on the coffee table and tucks herself under the throw blanket with me.
“No seriously, Summer. Are you doing okay?”
“I mean, no? I don’t know. Everything still feels weird. Jared and I officially broke up, like, a month ago before he moved out, but it feels like we broke up years ago. We stayed together for Emma’s sake, and it honestly felt more like co-parenting under thesame roof than being in a relationship. I’m mourning the fact that Emma won’t live with both of her parents anymore, but not the relationship itself,” I pick at a string on the throw blanket over my lap.
She nods. She’s heard all of this before. “I get that. You guys have been having a hard time for a while. It’s admirable that you kept trying for Emma, even though Jared never treated you right.”
“It’s not like he abused me though, Steph. Things were fine. Not passionate, but fine. I keep wondering if I made a mistake. Not because I’m madly in love with him, but because I don’t want Emma to struggle like I did growing up. Living out of a duffel bag your whole childhood and never feeling settled is really hard.” I feel horribly selfish for choosing to break up Emma’s happy life. For choosing to make her live an iteration of what I went through growing up.
“Two things: One, just because he wasn’t abusive doesn’t mean it was a good relationship. You haven’t been happy for a long time and you deserve to be.” I open my mouth to interrupt, but she talks over me. “Two, Emma will not struggle the way you did. I don’t like Jared for you, but he is a good father. You’re a great mom and you both want what’s best for her. Yes, she may have to go back and forth, but both places will feel like home, and you and Jared will actually work together to make her feel safe and loved. It’s not the same thing you grew up with.” She places a warm, perfectly manicured hand on my shoulder.
Growing up, my parents split up before I was even born. They hated each other, so the drop-off and pick-up process was always chaotic. It usually ended in a screaming match that left me wanting to run away, to be in any life that wasn’t my own. My dad was in and out through most of my childhood until middle school. Then, he finally moved elsewhere and I stopped seeing him completely. I hated myself a little for the relief I felt when he was gone. My dad despised my mom so much that he didn’t evencome to her funeral. I haven’t so much as seen a postcard from him in over a decade.
I know that Steph is right. Jared and I would never do that to Emma. “You’re right about Emma for sure. We both love her more than life.”
“Wait, but I’m wrong about you and Jared? You want to get back with him or something?” She looks at me like I sprouted a second nose.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just… I feel like Jared is the best I’ll ever get. I know he wasn’t great to me, but can I really expect anyone to treat me better?” I gesture vaguely over myself.
Her eyes narrow into slits and she glares at me. “You stop that bullshit right now, Summer. You are freaking stunning and yes, you should expect any man worthy of your time to treat you like you hung the moon. You are the kindest person I know, you’re gorgeous, and you’re hilarious once you open up to people. You’re the whole package, babe. It sucks for Jared that he didn’t see how good he had it. I think as soon as he realizes you’re actually gone and this isn’t temporary, he’ll regret every single moment he took you for granted.”
I pull her in for an awkward seated hug. “Thanks, Steph. I needed to hear that.” She’s always known just what to say to make me feel better. If it weren’t for her, I probably never would have left Jared. She never pushed me one way or another, but talking it out with her made me realize I wanted more. That I deserved more.
