Page 22 of Like Home
“Damn. Four times?” I raise my brows and nod approvingly.
“It was actually three, but who’s counting?”
“You are, clearly,” I laugh. “Okay, so did you stay the night? Are you going to see him again?”
“I stayed until five the next morning. I left because I didn’t want to bump into his mourning family who was staying on the same floor. We haven’t spoken since, so I doubt I will. Hewas only in town for the funeral anyway.” She shrugs a shoulder and says casually, “At least he was a good lay.”
“I am practically green with envy. It’s been too long since I had an orgasm from another person,” I sigh.
“Yet another reason to pursue things with Ryan. If he looks at you the right way, I bet you’d come. He’s just got that vibe about him.”
“You think he’s slept around a lot? I was kind of worried about that. I mean, a man that looks like that could go through a new woman every other day if he wanted. You know me, I can’t do casual. I am very in need of attachment.”
“I haven’t met him, but from what you’ve told me, I don’t get that sense. He would have already tried something with you rather than respecting your dumb boundaries.” She laughs when I throw my drink straw at her. “What? It’s true. If he was only interested in what’s between your legs, he would have left by now because you’ve kept them firmly closed.”
I think over what she said and finally reply, “That’s true. Anyway, areyougoing to pursue the man of multiple orgasms?”
“Nah. I don’t chase after men, they chase me.” She gives me a devilish smile and I laugh. I wish I had her confidence. “Anyway, I should probably get going. I have to grade some speeches tonight and I need to prep for tomorrow.” We both stand and I whimper a bit when my blistered heel protests the motion.
I shake it out and can’t repress my inner mom when I say, “Yeah, you need to get home and do that, so you actually get some sleep.” We hold each other in a quick hug, and I am reminded once again how lucky I am to have a friend like her.
CHAPTER 15
Summer
Wednesday night after putting Emma to bed at Jared’s, he stops me from walking out the door with a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, Summer, before you go, can we talk?”
Trepidation washes through me, but I nod and sit on the couch, tossing my bag on the coffee table. No matter what, someone asking to “talk” just presses the panic button. “What’s up?” I ask, trying to sound casual.
Jared sits next to me on the couch, angling his body towards me so our knees touch. He sighs and says, “We’ve been trying out this separation thing for almost a month now. I just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling.”
“About…” I draw out, waiting for him to fill in the blank.
“Being separated. Are you still feeling like this is the right decision?” His chocolatey eyes meet mine. I try to gather my thoughts because I want to tell him once and for all that this is done. “Because I still love you, Summer.”
Oh.
Before I can process his declaration, he’s closing his eyes and leaning in. His hand softly traces my jaw before going to tangle inmy hair. He pulls me in for a gentle kiss that tastes like pancakes on a Saturday morning. Comfort and routine built from years of repetition. I feel frozen, even though I know my body is responding, my lips are moving against his, and I reach up to fist his shirt either to pull him closer or push him away. Just as he’s angling his head to deepen the kiss, I push him back with the hand that’s still got a hold of his shirt.
“Wait,” I say, feeling breathless and confused. I let go, smoothing the wrinkles I made in his shirt absentmindedly. “Jared, you can’t justdo that,” I say, scooting as far away from him as his small couch will allow.
He closes the space I created and grabs my hand. “Summer listen, that’s what you’ve always wanted me to do, right? Kiss you out of the blue andshowyou how I feel. I’ve been thinking a lot the past month and I realized I can’t do this without you. You were right to give me this wake-up call. I see it now. I’m going to do better.” His face is sincere as he looks at our joined hands.
“How is this time any different than any other time you’ve told me that, Jared?” I search his face, indecision twisting me in knots.
“Because, this time you’ve actually made me see what it would be like without you. What it would be like to have our family split up.”
I take a breath and rest my head back on the couch, closing my eyes. His thumb traces little circles on the back of my hand. His words make some kind of sense; every other time we’ve had this conversation, the threat of leaving wasn’t real. I finally made it a reality.
I walk into the spare bedroom that Jared has made his gaming room. There’s a guest bed, but it’s overshadowed by his giant setup, the LED lights lining the ceiling, and the closet full of games andconsoles. Jared seems to be trying out a new organization system for his games, because there’s a huge pile on the bed that he’s sorting through.
He finally notices me standing in the doorway. “What’s up?” he asks, going back to his task as soon as the question passes his lips.
I tug the oversized t-shirt down, hoping it will cover the bottom hem of the lingerie I’m wearing. I ordered it online in the hopes that it would entice him. It’s been a year since we last had sex and several months since I gave him back the engagement ring. I have a masochistic need to know if it’s me that’s the issue. “So, your mom has Emma for the whole afternoon right?”
“Yeah. I figured I’d sort out the games and get rid of some like you asked a while ago.” He sweeps his hand over the piles on the bed.
I finger the hem of the shirt. “I think I have something better to do.” I shoot for coy, looking up at him from under my lashes. I slowly raise the shirt up and overhead, revealing the black lace teddy underneath. His eyes drop to my lace encapsulated breasts and then sweep lower before tracing a path back to my face.
